Slightly Bruised and a Little Bit Used

I dropped my bags on the floor near my front door.

I kicked off my shoes and headed straight for my bedroom.

I flopped down onto my bed, face in the pillows, breathing in the fresh scent.

Tour always took a lot out of me, and this one had seemed especially long.

While you’re there, it’s like a kind of high. You never feel tired.

Then there’s the crash and reality of coming home.

I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed tiredly into the pillow.

As always, Riley’s face haunted my thoughts and the inside of my eyelids.

I rolled onto my back and rubbed my face. I tried to push those thoughts out of my head, which was proving incredibly difficult, considering the last time I had been remotely near a real bed had been that night, three months ago. Just remembering it made me shiver.

I yanked my phone out of my pocket to distract myself before I could get myself pathetically worked up over a memory.

But God, it was just so…good.

I remembered Jeff mentioning stopping by her apartment, and resisted the strong temptation to call him and therefore invite myself over.

I convinced myself that it was a bad idea.

Was I really that pathetic that I would impose myself on everyone just to see her?

Obviously I was, but tonight I wouldn’t give in.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Come hang at Charli & Ri’s tonight. - Jeff

My heart began to pound uncontrollably as soon as I got that message a day later.

What’s up? - I texted back, fingers fumbling over the numbers as a result of the anticipation growing in my stomach.

Party? - Was his reply.

I’ll be there. -I answered, before tossing my phone aside.

I had gotten through last night without inviting myself over, but I was planning on doing just the opposite tonight, especially after Jeff informed me that he would be staying with them. Jeff had mentioned for me to come over in passing, but I was glad that it was confirmed now.

I dumped my suitcases out on my floor; I hadn’t unpacked yet, and now I needed to figure out what I would wear tonight.

I tossed my clothes into random “reject” and “maybe” piles.

I stopped, shaking my head at myself.

I’m such a girl.