A Simple Love Story. Not!

Everything was a blur.

Hard. Soft. Rough. Romantic.

We were flipping so fast through our kissing styles from being so caught up in the moment and one another, we were just doing whatever we felt.

He pulled away from me, just an inch or two to look down and smile at me before having his lips softly press against mine and I melted. My heart sped up more, if possible. My head felt dizzy. My chest hurt from wanting to scream out of joy, and not being able to breathe. Luckily I was wrapped up in his arms because my knees went weak from that move he did.

The smile and kiss.

I officially loved that combo.

He pulled away again a few seconds later, his hands softly woven into my curls, and stepped back and smiled at me while taking in a deep breath and sitting down.

“What’s wrong?” I instantly asked him.

This couldn’t end now. I was just experiencing my first Cloud 9 and understanding what all the fuss was about.

He looked up at me while letting out his breath loudly before taking in another one and then reaching for my hand.

I smiled shyly at him, only because I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean.

He pulled away from me to only to hold my hand? I was confused….really confused.

“Nothing. I just really needed a breather. No one was interrupting us for once.” He said while letting out a laugh and tugging me down slightly to sit next to him.

I let out a laugh as well and a loud sigh of relief that it wasn’t that I was a horrible kisser or anything.

It got quiet between us then, the only noise coming for both of us catching our breaths and the waves crashing down on the sand.

I was happy. No….I was incredibly jovial. I couldn’t stop smiling I was so happy. I’d finally gotten what I wanted.

I finally got to kiss Joe. Finally. And not have it end badly. It ended adorably. With him needing to catch his breath and us sitting peacefully on the beach holding hands. It was perfect. He was perfect.

We were perfect.

I chanced a look at him to see him already looking at me with a smile on his face.

“What?” I asked him slightly nervous with a little laughing as well. Damn my nervous laugh.

“I can honestly say you’re the first girl who took my breath away.” He said while letting out a small laugh before lying down on the blanket, pulling me along with him.

He turned over onto his side to look at me while I did the same and finally let go of my hand, only to softly touch my cheek and move a curl that had made its way onto my face. But after he moved it behind my ear, he pulled it back onto my face and started to curl it around his finger with a small smile still present.

I was in heaven right now, even though I still couldn’t breathe normal. But I was ok with that. It was a good suffocating feeling. I loved that he made me feel this way, no matter how painful it would be later on to get over him.

I closed my eyes to relish the feeling of his hand softly hitting my cheek every time he twisted his wrist and I felt my lips tug up into a smile from feeling it every time.

When he pulled my head towards him, I opened my eyes to see what was going on, only to have his lips on mine again before I could even ask. And I was definitely ok with it.

His lips were so soft, and his hand lightly left my face to travel down my side before making its way back up. He cupped my chin before pushing me down onto my back while he leaned over me, holding all his weight on his left arm.

I didn’t know what to with my hands, they wanted to be everywhere at once.

In his hair, on his face, running down his back. My hands moved so frantically to just touch him everywhere, and luckily, Joe let go of my face to reach back and grab one of my hands and lace our fingers together before letting them rest on my stomach between us.

I felt him smile against my lips and I couldn’t stop myself from doing the same.

We took our time, slowly kissing each other for what I was guessing 20 minutes before he started to get a little bit rougher with his kisses, and let go of my hand to grab my hip and pull it into him, causing a moan from both of us.

He left my lips then, and went straight to my neck and behind my earlobe. I remembered telling him about my earlobe spot and how sexy it was to have a guy kiss right behind it.

And sure as hell, he was doing it, while I looked up at the stars through half closed eyes and trying to breathe normal.

He stopped kissing there though, only to find my mouth again, his breathing getting heavier, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t going to pull away from me this time. I don’t think either of us had any intention of pulling away. At least, not for a while.

He kissed me so hard, so passionate that my mind literally exploded when he did.

It seemed like he was kissing me like he’d never see me again. Like he’d never get this chance again…which was silly because we were not together….

My eyes snapped open from that thought and I softly pushed his chest to get him to stop, but he misconstrued it as a ‘playing hard to get’ thing because he only pressed himself down onto me while kissing me harder.

I put my hand on his chest and pushed harder this time to get at least 3 inches of space between us and turned my head so he couldn’t kiss me anymore. At least, not my lips. Fortunately, he got the message from that combo I’d just thrown at him and he instantly asked me what was wrong.

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? We’re not together! We shouldn’t be doing this unless we we’re together.

It wasn’t fair to me. I wanted him, I did. But I wanted him to want me to. And not in a ‘friends with benefits’ type of way. I wanted him to want me like I wanted him. I wanted him to call me his girlfriend. And I wanted him to be my boyfriend. But I knew he didn’t want that. He wanted…a kissing buddy?

“I can’t do this” was all I said while pushing him further off of me, even though I knew I was going to regret it.

I’d finally gotten the make out session I’ve wanted since my sister’s birthday. But it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted it or thought it would be. We weren’t together…and I wanted to be.

“But…why?” He asked me, completely dumbfounded by my actions, and I couldn’t blame him.

I mean, we had been making out for a good half hour or so and then all of a sudden I’m flipping a switch and telling him we need to stop. I’d be the in the same boat as him if it were switched around.

“It’s…we…it’s not good” was all I could say, while turning my face away from him to not have to see anger or disappointment flash across his face.

“No it’s not. It’s good.” He said while leaning down and pulling my face towards his to kiss me again.

I smiled, briefly, before coming back to my senses and pulling away again, pushing him hard enough to be able to sit up.

“That’s great yes…but the situation is bad.” I explained to him which caused him to look at me with a dumbfounded look.

“What are you talking about? What situation? The stars, the beach, us….how is this situation bad?” He finally asked while looking me slightly upset.

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach from that look, to be the one to cause this but then I caught myself. He’s the one who won’t man up and ask me out. He’s the one who decided to do this. He’s the one sending mix signals. Not me. It’s all him.

“I do like this….this evening you planned out for us. But the real situation is the fact that we’re just friends.” I said while sitting up slowly so we didn’t smack our heads together. When he didn’t respond to that I continued to clarify a little bit more for him. “You know how I feel about you Joe. Don’t act like you don’t know. With the other night on the playground and then the swimming….you’re making it so difficult for me not to fall for you. How can I even enjoy any of this when I know that all you see me as is a friend?”

I couldn’t control myself now. Being able to get this all off my chest felt great and my voice was getting squeaky and uneven. I knew I was upset and maybe on the brink of crying from hearing myself actually say it out loud.

We’re just friends. I know it, and he knows it. He never saw me as more than that.

“Steph, you need to calm down. You’re voice is getting all crackly.” He stated and I felt my face flare up.

That’s it? That’s all he has to say to what I just told him? No, ‘Oh Steph, that’s not true. I like you more than friends’. Nothing. Just that I need to calm down.

Damn he knew how to piss me off.

“That’s all you have to say to me right now. After everything that I just told you about how I felt? All you have to say is ‘Calm down’?” I shot back at him while standing up.

I couldn’t sit anymore, especially with him being so close.

“Well what am I supposed to say Steph?” He countered while standing up as well and I could hear his voice crack.

Great, we were both getting upset. Just peachy.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the truth of why we’re not together. Or why you haven’t asked me out. Or why you even went through all this trouble for such a romantic night with someone who’s just your friend.”

“First off Steph” he shouted, “You’re not just a friend. You’re my best friend outside of my brothers and you know that. Second of all, maybe I wanted to do something nice for you. Ever think about that? Maybe I knew that you would enjoy me being romantic and everything and since we haven’t had much time together I figured you’d appreciate it.”

“Oh yeah, then what was up with all the hand holding and kissing me on my cheek and ‘you’re so beautiful’ bullshit. I don’t know a lot of best friends that do that.” I snap back at him, air quoting best friends.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes staring at each other, both of our chests heaving up and down and when he didn’t respond to my question, I knew this was pointless. He just didn’t get it.

“Whatever Joe.” I snapped at him, bending down to grab my flip flops. “You just don’t get it.” I stated and then turned around and started walking away.

I walked a few feet before I heard a panicked, “where are you going?”

Oh! Now he cares.

“Back to the car. This epic mind fuck of yours is over. I’m tired and emotionally exhausted if you don’t mind and I’d like to go back to the hotel to sleep this off.” I snapped at him, not even slowing down or turning around. But even though it felt good to let go of my frustration, I wanted to take it back instantly.

He didn’t deserve that. It’s not his fault that doesn’t get it.

“Look, I’m sorry.” I said before turning around to see him cleaning everything up.

“You don’t need to apologize. I didn’t…I guess I just didn’t think about how it would come off to you. I’m sorry if I made you believe that there was something between us.” He said, shaking the blanket and my jaw dropped.

“So that’s it….there’s nothing between us?” I asked, completely heartbroken all over again.

“Well, I mean, you’re best friend. So there’s something between us but as for what you thought-“

I had to cut him off. “Excuse me…for what I thought? Are you kidding me right now? The way that you acted tonight was totally crossing the best friend line buddy with everything that you did. How was I the one who got this misconstrued? You’re the one who did all this and I believe it was you that started that make out session if my memory serves me right.”

“I thought you would like all this considering how you feel about me! I was trying to be nice.” He snapped with a little arrogant look on his face. As if I’m the one in the wrong and over reacting.

Hell no.

“If you were trying to be nice Joe, you would’ve realized how you were playing with my emotions. Best friends don’t fuck around with the others feelings like that. And I think I’m firing you from being my best friend because clearly, you don’t care about anyone except yourself. All you wanna do is what you want to do, not matter how it hurts the other person.”

I could feel my tears welling up from what I was saying, but it had to be done. Sure, I loved him and wanted to be with him. But I wasn’t going to put myself through this over and over again. He knew how I felt and he didn’t care if his actions hurt me.

“Steph I-”

“No, I just need some time away from you Joe. So just…take me back to the hotel so I can go to sleep. We’ll talk whenever you’re able to realize that you’re messing with my emotions. But as for now, just leave me alone.”

With that said, I turned around started walking back to the car, tears falling down my face and hugging myself to keep myself together.

It was amazing how we went from being so hot and heavy for each other to not even being best friends anymore from one night.

And I still had 4 more days of this vacation with him.

This vacation officially sucks.

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“It happens every time! When I see you! It happens every time, when I think of you! It happens every time, oh it’s magic when we meet!” Frankie, Nick and Kevin were singing to us right now at 5 AM for revenge and I was not in the mood.

“Baby down on Dream Street!” they finished while laughing and I rolled my eyes before trying to go back to sleep.

I was exhausted in every possible way. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

Having to sit in the back corner of the truck on the way back to avoid looking or even talking to Joe was exhausting. Plus, having to hold my cries from him was even more exhausting since regardless of what I said to him about not wanting to talk, he can’t stand it when a girl cries and he would’ve made me talk to him.

“Animal kingdom day!” Frankie screams which causes me to let out a loud sigh.

“That’s great and all Frankster, but can you come back and wake us up in 2 hours?” Liz says, although it’s pretty muffled because she’s talking into her pillow.

I heard a loud sigh, which I’m assuming was from all three of them at the same time before they exit the room and we all fall back into sleep for the next couple of hours.

It felt like I woke up only 5 minutes later, but when looking at the clock it was indeed 2 hours later. And the boys seemed a little bit more happy with the reactions that they got. Even though I didn’t react to them screaming their heads off apparently, Liz had jumped up and smacked her head on the head bored while Duckie fell off her bed.

When I rolled over onto my back I noticed that Nick was on our bed, giving Ally a kiss on the forehead which made me want to throw up and Frankie was helping Duckie up off the floor. Kevin was in the corner with, surprise surprise, his video camera. Joe was…well I didn’t really care. But he was standing by the wall that was right next to the bathroom door. Staring…..at me.

I quickly looked away when I saw that he was looking at me and stretched instead.

“I can’t wait to see the elephants, and giraffes and the rhinos!” Frankie rambled on while Nick and Ally were acting all lovey-dovey.

With a sigh of disgust, I rolled out of bed and called the bathroom before the girls could.

I knew I had everyone’s eyes on me from my reaction to this morning’s activities but I really didn’t care. I was heartbroken now that I knew that Joe didn’t see me at all in the romantic light and that I’d lost my best friend last night.

Joe caught my hand as I passed by him on the way into the bathroom and when I looked up to his eyes, they looked so red.

Call me crazy and maybe a little sadistic, but I was glad to see him look so bad. At least he was losing sleep over me for once.

When I saw him open his mouth I just shook my head and walked into the bathroom and shutting the door in his face.

I wasn’t in the mood to talk yet and I doubt that whatever he had to say would really change anything. He still didn’t want me and I still had to deal with it.

“What’s wrong with her?” I heard Ally ask through the door and I silently cursed at myself that Joe was probably going to make me look like the bad guy throughout all of this. But shockingly all I heard him say that he didn’t know and that he was going to go shower too.

I smirked a little from hearing him say that but then I caught myself.

We weren’t friends.

I let out a sigh and held back my tears while I hopped in the shower to get ready for the day.

Today already sucks.

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At the moment there are only three people that I’m talking to and sadly, none of them are here.

Great! I can’t wait till you come back. I really miss you.  is what I read off my phone and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

I miss you too. I can’t wait until Tuesday! I text back and receive a smiley face back.

Eric was the one I was currently texting. I had already talked to Demi and Megan this morning but Eric was the one who actually got me to smile and feel a little bit happy outside of this gloomy, depressing feeling that I’m in.

My mother must have talked to Denise and Paul about not trying to talk to me since she knows how I get when I’m upset. Which was good because I didn’t feel like talking to anyone today.

But Eric…ahhh. He was ok. Scratch that. Eric was perfect. Shaggy black hair that curled at the edges. Nice toned body that was perfectly tanned. Pure gentlemen. Smart. Hot. And he liked me. I knew that much.

Thank god for Mythology projects and his name being right after mine so we got paired together. He was great. After we’d meet up to work on the project once a week, we’d go out for dinner and just enjoy each other’s company and we quickly became friends. He knew about the whole Joe situation and he was really nice with trying to make me feel better. So, he’d send me random texts that would say something funny or something really cute to brighten my day, and it worked. He was great. And did I mention that he liked me?

That’s 1 for Eric and 0 for Joe.

“Steph!” I heard my mom call to me, which caused me to snap out of my somewhat happy mood that Eric had put me in. “We’re gonna get something to eat. Hurry up!”

I hadn’t realized that I was so far behind the group but it didn’t really matter to me. As long as Joe wasn’t looking at me with those puppy dog eyes and trying to suck me back in while everyone else started at me in confusion, I was fine. Plus, why would I want to walk around with everyone they were all coupled up?

Kevin and Liz, Ally and Nick and it looked like Joe replaced my usual place next to him with Duckie who had Frankie next to her. Plus, it’s safe to say that I wasn’t going to be all buddy buddy with the parents today.

Once I stepped into Restaurantosaurus for lunch, everyone was already seated and unfortunately for me the only seat open was the one right across from Joe. In order to avoid his eyes, I immediately sat down and picked up my menu right away. Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could still feel his eyes burning into my head, along with a few more pairs of eyes from everyone else at the table.

The waitress came over and asked everyone for their orders and from not having much time to look at it I requested a water and salad.

“That’s all your gonna eat? You didn’t breakfast this morning.” Nick questioned from next to me.

“Geez Nick, you’re not my father ok?! My stomach hurts, so just back off.” I snapped and then immediately felt bad afterwards for taking out my anger on him when his brother was the one I was mad at.

Or maybe I was mad at myself for being mad.

Ah hell.

I gave Nick an “I’m Sorry” look and after a few seconds he gave me a small smirk before turning to his other side and talking to my sister.

I smiled slightly and accidently looked up from the table to see Joe’s face. Unfortunately because I was smiling he smiled back and I instantly looked back down.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was acting like a bitch. But at the same time I didn’t think I was overreacting at all.

Joe knew how I felt about him and he disregarded those feelings to do what he wanted.

I sat with my phone in my lap, rolling it over in my hands while everyone else talked jovially at the table. Well, everyone except myself and Joe.

“Aww...look at the little bird! It's so cute!” Ally chirped up from the other side of Nick and my mom laughed slightly before saying, “Out of all the exotic animals here she gets excited about a bird” which just caused everyone else at the table to chuckle.

“Don’t listen to them baby.” Nick said softly enough for Ally and myself to hear. “That’s why I love you so much.”

I stopped moving my phone in my hands and looked up from the spot on the table I was looking at to see Nick and my sister share a quick peck on the lips.

“LOVE?” I snapped at them. “You love her? What do you know about love? You’re how old and have been dating for how long? Take it back right now Nick. You don’t love her!”

I didn’t even realize I was standing up out of my seat until I noticed how big Nicks’ eyes were from me standing over him.

“Steph, I do love-” he started and tried grabbing my hand to pull me back down but I pulled away from him.

“You don’t know anything about love!” I snapped.

At that moment, and I’m not sure why I did it, but I looked over at Joe. We caught eyes for a few seconds and I’m sure I looked like a crazy psycho from my outburst from last night and then just now, but I didn’t care. He needed to know how much it hurt to not have someone love you back and pretty much throw your feelings out the window like they didn’t care.

When he opened his mouth to say something I scoffed, turned around and ran out of the restaurant.

“Steph, come back!” I heard Nick say softly before some chairs scraped against the floor. I knew they were coming after me, I just hoped Joe wasn’t coming with them.

Luckily it was only Nick that grabbed my shoulder and spun me around and then wrapped me in a hug.

I don’t know why he hugged me; maybe it was to keep me in place, or to keep me from smacking him since he had my arms pinned down to my sides. Or maybe it was just to comfort me.

Any of them would be understandable and when he hugged me, I broke down.

I didn’t know I could still cry after last night and not drinking too much water to hydrate myself but somehow, I did.

He stroked my hair and made shushing noises for me to calm down before walking me over to a bench before asking me what was going on with me today.

“I’m just frustrated that’s all with Love and everything with it. It’s all fake, and pointless, and stupid.” I babbled while trying to control my breaths.

“Love isn’t fake or pointless. It can be stupid, but it’s still love. And I’m assuming your reaction to me telling your sister that I loved her has something to do with Joe?” Nick countered while rubbing my back.

I simply nodded my head, hearing his voice and how soft spoken he was. I’m pretty sure Nick would make an excellent shrink or something since he can calm down anyone with just his voice.

I heard him let out a sigh before asking, “Did it have to do with last night and his plans?”

I simply nodded again, wiping at my face and getting myself calm now before looking up at him.

“Pretty much, I snapped at him for not caring about my feelings when he said there was nothing between us in a romantic sense, I fired him from being my best friend and then we haven’t talked sense. I don’t know what to do Nick. He was my best friend and the boy I loved and now I don’t have him as my best friend anymore along with any type of chance at a romantic relationship with him.”

He nodded his head and then smirked before letting out a soft laugh before saying, “You really fired him from being your best friend?”

I laughed a little as well since I just heard how absurd that sounded. Of course Joe was still my best friend….we just were having a fight and not speaking at he moment.

“Yeah.” I stated and then took a deep breath.

“I don’t know Joe’s ever been fired from anything before, let alone a best friend.” Nick stated before letting out another laugh which I joined in with.

I didn’t know why that was so funny, but it felt good to smile and talk to someone who was here. Plus, it was Nick. And he loved my sister. I don’t know why I flipped out over that. If there was anyone in the world who meant it when he said he loved someone, it was Nick.

“I’m sorry I flipped out in there. I just…I don’t know-” I stuttered but Nick just shook his head.

“No need Steph. I know my brother can be a little self-absorbed and what not. I’ll talk to him for you to get him to see where you’re coming from. Hopefully you guys can patch things up quick because it’s weird not having you two weirdo’s talking and goofing off like you usually are.”

I let out a laugh before nodding my head. “It is pretty weird not talking to him, and thanks. I really appreciate it.”

“Now, I’m getting a little woozy cuz my blood sugar is low so let’s go eat, shall we?” he asked while standing up and extending his hand to me.

“Yes we shall.” I stated while taking his hand and we walked back to the restaurant where we ate and I inhaled my food along with some of Nicks due to not eating breakfast this morning.