What It Feels Like To Be a Ghost
Modern Day Bullies
Today when I was eating my lunch and observing Justen, Janice came up to me. She’s one of the popular girls. I once asked her why she hates me so much. She just said "I don't like you because you're so full of it, emo!" So from that I figure that she considers me to be emo. Nice.
Anyways, I ignored her while she made her usual negative comments about my appearance (“Don’t you ever comb your hair?” “Where did you find those shoes? The garbage can?”). I guess she might have noticed that I wasn’t listening and realized that I was watching Justen.
“Look Cecilia, someone has a crush on Justen.” Janice said snickering. Cecilia is Janice’s best friend and equally evil.
“Poor thing; as if Justen would ever listen to a word you say.” Cecilia said like the snob that she is.
“He used to.” I said quietly. As soon as I said that I regretted it. Justen's reputation could go down the drain in a second if that got around. Then he'd be no better off than me.
“What was that freak?” Janice said.
“Why don’t we ask him?” Cecilia retorted, and as she did so my heart started beating a hundred times faster. I hadn’t made an effort to get Justen to talk to me after he started ignoring me. I felt my eyes began to water. There was no way that I was about to give any one of those popular idiots see me cry. They’re not worth my tears I told myself. Justen was a different story.
I stood up as Cecilia shouted, “Hey Justen! Come over here!” I then walked away from the loud laughter coming from the popular section. What had I ever done to them? What had I ever done to any of them? My mistakes are in the past and I’ve learned from them and haven’t stopped punishing myself. How much more did they want from me? It’s not as if my mistakes affected them, at least the majority anyways. I wonder if Justen was laughing. If he was, that’s all I needed; my heart to break even more.
A question keeps eating me up inside. Why does he do this to me? Why does he have to treat me like this, as if I was never anything to him? I guess I’m just a fool to have believed all of it. Maybe Janice and all those other people are right. Maybe there was no way that he’d ever talk to me again. What does he need me for? He has all that he needs. He always had potential and now he’s one of them. I always knew it somehow.
But like I said, he had potential, but he doesn’t lack a heart. Or at least I didn’t think he did.
Anyways after I left the cafeteria, I walked off to this area of the school were it’s peaceful. There’s this bench and it’s surrounded by trees and flowers. How I love that place.
At the moment that’s the only place that keeps me sane.
Anyways, I ignored her while she made her usual negative comments about my appearance (“Don’t you ever comb your hair?” “Where did you find those shoes? The garbage can?”). I guess she might have noticed that I wasn’t listening and realized that I was watching Justen.
“Look Cecilia, someone has a crush on Justen.” Janice said snickering. Cecilia is Janice’s best friend and equally evil.
“Poor thing; as if Justen would ever listen to a word you say.” Cecilia said like the snob that she is.
“He used to.” I said quietly. As soon as I said that I regretted it. Justen's reputation could go down the drain in a second if that got around. Then he'd be no better off than me.
“What was that freak?” Janice said.
“Why don’t we ask him?” Cecilia retorted, and as she did so my heart started beating a hundred times faster. I hadn’t made an effort to get Justen to talk to me after he started ignoring me. I felt my eyes began to water. There was no way that I was about to give any one of those popular idiots see me cry. They’re not worth my tears I told myself. Justen was a different story.
I stood up as Cecilia shouted, “Hey Justen! Come over here!” I then walked away from the loud laughter coming from the popular section. What had I ever done to them? What had I ever done to any of them? My mistakes are in the past and I’ve learned from them and haven’t stopped punishing myself. How much more did they want from me? It’s not as if my mistakes affected them, at least the majority anyways. I wonder if Justen was laughing. If he was, that’s all I needed; my heart to break even more.
A question keeps eating me up inside. Why does he do this to me? Why does he have to treat me like this, as if I was never anything to him? I guess I’m just a fool to have believed all of it. Maybe Janice and all those other people are right. Maybe there was no way that he’d ever talk to me again. What does he need me for? He has all that he needs. He always had potential and now he’s one of them. I always knew it somehow.
But like I said, he had potential, but he doesn’t lack a heart. Or at least I didn’t think he did.
Anyways after I left the cafeteria, I walked off to this area of the school were it’s peaceful. There’s this bench and it’s surrounded by trees and flowers. How I love that place.
At the moment that’s the only place that keeps me sane.
♠ ♠ ♠
:)