All Grown Up

Chapter 15

What’s Up Lonely

Jo woke up slowly, the sun burning her skin lightly. She stretched and remembered the night before. With a sigh she got out of bed, found a robe and wrapped it around herself, she was still dressed. She turned the handle and stepped into the living room. Going towards the small kitchen when she noticed someone sleeping on the couch.

She moved closer to the couch and bumped into the table, Zacky’s eyes flew open. “Hi,” he said sitting up.

“What are you doing here?” Jo asked rubbing her leg.

“Um, I didn’t want you to be alone in the night,” Zacky said rubbing his eyes, and reaching for the glasses on the table. He put them on, and smiled at Jo.

“Don’t you have a mic check?” Jo asked looking at the clock.

“Shit,” Zacky reached for his phone, he had two messages, one text and one voice they were both from Matt.

From: Matt
Dude where are you, you need to get your ass down here right now.

Zacky then dialled his voicemail and placed it on speaker. “Dude, get you’re ass down here, where the hell are you?…” A long pause, then they heard Brian’s voice, “Leave him the fuck alone, he knows what he’s doing,” Then Matt said, “But where the fuck is he?” then fumbling with the phone, “Like you really give a fuck,” Then the phone went dead.

“Sorry you had to hear that,” Zacky said getting up and stretching.

“Don’t worry,” Jo went towards the kitchen, “Let’s see what they have to eat around here,”

“Jo, I’m sorry about what he did, I know you care about him,” Zacky said sitting on a stool, at the little island in the kitchen.

“Zack, I’m a big girl,” Jo said, getting cereal and milk. I guess they were stacked up.

“I know, but still,” Zacky said looking at the bowl in front of you.

“Dude, honestly. I’m going to be fine, I’m not going to do anything, he’s not worth it.” Jo poured milk over the cereal. Zacky stopped her from pouring some on his. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“I don’t eat cereal with milk,” he gave her a smile.

“Okay, that is kind of weird,” Jo laughed at him.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” Zacky said munching on cereal.

“Haha,” Jo laughed as he dropped some cereal, he looked so sad.

“Alright,” he stood up. “I have to go now, you be safe, otherwise I will get Sam after your ass, and you know she can be scary.”

Jo stood up and walked him to the door, she hugged him. “I’m glad you’re here,” Jo said.
“Hey, what are friends for,” Zacky said hugging her back, then he pulled a little away, “I care about you a lot, but I’m glad to be your friend, you’re an amazing person.” She looked up at him and tears sprung to her eyes, she went on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek as a tear slid down her cheek.

“Oh damn, I didn’t want to make you cry,” Zacky said wipping away a tear.

“They’re happy tears,” Jo said laughing as he looked like he was about to cry. “Now go,”

Jo opened the door and froze, there in the door way about to knock stood Matt, with a dozen roses in his hand, “Dude if those are for me then you’re getting the wrong message,” Zacky said looking down at Jo and not loosening his hold on her.

Matt’s jaw tightened, then he looked at Jo’s robe and didn’t realize she was still dressed underneath, his mind ran a mile a minute. “It’s ok,” Jo whispered to Zacky.

“Are you sure?” Zacky asked looking down at her, when Jo nodded he walked past Matt.

“You might as well come in,” Jo said as she stepped back into the pent-house to let him come in. He stepped in and she closed the door, the soft click was the only sound heard.

“Look, I’m sorry if I interupeted something,” Matt said not turning to look at her.

“On, second thought get the fuck out,” Jo said reaching for the door but Matt reached for her hand stopping her.

“I came to apologize,” Matt said as Jo turned around and ripped her hand out of his.

“Then do so and leave,” Jo said challenging him, then she noticed his eye was bruised, “What happened to your eye?”

“Um, Sam,” Matt said fidgeting with the flowers.

Jo laughed, imagining Sam going for Matt and making contact. “Well, I’m sorry about that,” Jo said sincerely. Last thing she wanted was friction between Matt and everyone else.

“I deserved it,” Matt said.

“No, you didn’t,” Jo said going into the living room, and searching for her emergency pack of smokes she always had in her purse for stressful moments. She took it out.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Matt said as he placed the flowers on the table.

“There’s a lot of things about me you don’t know,” Jo said lighting one and letting the chemicals travel through her airwaves and into her lungs.

“I just…”

“Don’t apologize again, I can’t stand to hear it, look we slept together, it was awesome, but there is nothing else between us,” Jo said.

“Is that what you want?” Matt asked.

Jo looked at him, “It’s not about what I want, you’re not ready.”

“But,…” she cut him off again.
“Look Matt, I’m not willing to baby sit you while you try to figure shit out. I’m not strong enough for that, but I am strong enough to tell you. I love you, and I know you don’t feel the same, it’s ok. I don’t need you to love me, I am strong enough to be on my own,” Jo took another drag of her cigarette then stubbed it out.

Matt took a step towards her and grabbed her by the waist, he looked down at her, she looked up. This felt so right, but the thought of him with the blond woman, made her heart ache. She pushed him away and he went.

He took hold of her hand, “Let me go,” Jo whispered her defences started to crumble.

“I can’t,” he said pulling her close again. His lips went down on hers and all she wanted to do was kiss him back but she didn’t all her will power kept her from giving in. He pulled away.

“You have to, it’s over.” The words echoed off the walls, “You don’t feel the same way about me,” Jo said as she pushed him away and walked a few steps putting space between them.

“I could,” Matt said, pleaded even.

“No, I don’t want to live with you and the what if, I want to be the one you want, and I’m not.” Jo looked at him.

“I want you,” Matt said.

“Last night proved otherwise,” Jo said but before he could say anything she stopped him, “ You don’t know the first thing about me, so you can’t want me. Last night hurt but it was just the thing that I needed, you don’t want me, you want someone, and you know what I can’t be that someone, I can’t be your clutch your rebound, I know you broke up with Val a year ago, but no you just broke up with her, I can’t be her replacement, I can’t be your experiment. So go, get out and leave me alone.”

Jo turned and walked into the bedroom closing the door, her heart was breaking in so many pieces, she felt like screaming, then she heard the front door closed and let out a breath, she had to move on, no matter how much it hurt, she wouldn’t become what she had once been.