Trinity Chord

Still Ryan's POV

...I guess since no one's showing up anytime soon, I'll start now. As you all know, I am Ryan Ross, and at this very moment, I am not a happy camper. That's minus the intense pain I am experiencing. You'd think that my life should be filled with smiles and no worries. 'Hakuna Matata', as you may hear Brendon sing in the shower on tour. But even rock stars like me have bad days. I'm having a bad day. Scratch that. A bad week. Things went downhill after I caught drift of a 'private' conversation between Jon and Brendon. I won't soon be forgetting it. I remember exactly what he said..;

*6 days prior*

With my left ear slightly pressed up against the nearly closed door, I tuned into the conversation at hand. As soon as I had heard Brendon mention this 'secret crush' of his, I just had to hear. It was Jon who spoke next.

"Just tell him how you feel. Couldn't hurt, right?"

"B-But," Brendon stuttered, "Are you sure? I mean, is there really any point? He's taken. He's out of my reach even if he wasn't."

'Geez, Bren, could you be any harder on yourself?' I thought, my heart sinking a bit for him. But who was this mystery man? I really wanted to know. I decided to listen until I found out.

"Bren, I know how much this is killing you. You have to tell him, unless you want him to figure it out for himself. And trust me, with the way you two prance about the stage together, you're bound to make the move that gives it all away." Jon said, and with that, it clicked. Eyes slightly wider, darting around in their sockets, I pulled away from the door in shock. I was careful not to make a sound, though. So Brendon had a crush on me? No, no, no, it can't be me... But I just heard him. A part of me wanted it to be a lie. I knew the fans thought this 'Rydon' thing existed, but it didn't. It didn't, and it never, ever would. Ever.

*Present*

After giving it time to sink in, I was I had reacted differently. But I was in shock, I mean, wouldn't you be, too, if you found out that one of your best friends was in love with you? Now, we have to get something known here, between you and me. I'm not completely straight. Yes, you heard right. Never have been. It was one of those things I just always knew. And Brendon..? Let's just say I've thought about it, as I have with quite a few other guys. But let's get something else clear before I go anywhere else with this. I'mnot completely happy with Keltie.

Brendon... He's a special guy. Young, talented, vibrant, loving, one of my best friends. He's everybody's ray of sunshine. He'll make some guy really happy one day. Oh, and those onstage antics..? I don't know, they never meant anything to me... Before. I can't speak for Brendon.

And Keltie? Sure, we may have been together for 8 years, but did that really mean anything. Again, I can't speak for anybody.

A whole new wave of pain washed over me. Groaning and with my eyes shut tight, I decided that that was enough mental story telling for now...

~*Return to 3rd person*~

A small group had formed in the hospital foyer. Of course Brendon and Keltie were still there, but a certain Jon Walker and Spencer Smith had joined them. After receiving the miserable and shocking call from Brendon, Spence had arrived within minutes (Jon had flown in a few hours later from Chicago). Their reactions to the news were similar: dozens of questions fired a mile a minute, shaking voices and worried expressions. Brendon, sighing and shaking his head slightly, could not answer any of them. He only wished he could.

As of right now, though, the quiet 4 were sitting together at a small table, drinking coffee, offered to them by one of the nurses. No words were spoken... And much tension could be sensed between them. It was bothering Spencer to the brim. Daringly almost, he coughed before starting. "So, uh... Brendon, how's, um... Your vacation been so far?" he tried. Maybe not the best question, Spence.

Casting his eyes up from the coffee cup in his hands to the white-tiled ceiling, Brendon mumbled, "Wonderful. I've had PrissyPants over here on my ass ever since we've been back, and now my best friend is in the damn hospital because she drove him away. Just fuckin' peachy, how 'bout yours?"

Blinking at his mumbled outburst, Spencer looked mildly hurt, but he understood the mutual feelings on the situation. Kiltie, on the other hand, appeared deeply appalled. Her nostrils flared and her eyebrows furrowed. The beginning to another brawl was at hand. "Excuse me? I drove him away? Listen, Urie, I was just trying to spend a nice anniversary with him, and if you hadn't brought your pathetic, gay-ass over, he would be at home, with me, not in some fuckin' hospital, dying!" she screeched, new tears forming in her still bloodshot eyes. She was leaning in, as she literally spat her words at him. "All because you still can't get over the fact that he's grown up and found me, not you. And don't try to tell me you don't like him because that's bullshit! Everybody knows."

'Except Ryan himself...' Brendon thought as the female beside him screamed in his face. 'And he never will...' "Right, well, I'm going to the washroom. Excuse me... Boys." he said, standing up and nodding his head towards Spencer and Jon, then added, "Satan," towards Keltie. As he began to walk away down the hallway to the left, Ryan's hallway, he heard Keltie whisper:

"I hope you get lost and never come back... Faggot." That sent a shock over Brendon's heart. No one, no one, had called him that since high school. He thought he was passed that. He thought he had gotten away from that awful 6 letter word. He just realized he had frozen to the spot after that word had reached his ears. He began again, eyes on the white wall to the right of him. That's when he caught a glimpse of someone. Someone inside room 2417. He saw Ryan. Bloosoaked bandages wrapped around him, laying on a hospital bed. He appeared to be sleeping... Brendon moved closer to the small window beside the door, to get a better view of his friend. He took everything in. Right down to the single spec of blood on the white sheets near the bottom right corner. He studied Ryan's facial expression. It seemed as if he was trying to find peace, only the pain wouldn't let him. It pained Bren to see him in this state, but he soon found himself looking both ways down the hallway, you can say, 'to make sure the coast was clear'. Seeing he had an opportunity, he set his hand on the doorknob and turned it, letting himself in. Heart thumping a little harder in his chest, he slowly closed the door and turned to face Ryan... Which in turn caused him to utter a small yelp. Ryan was now facing him as well. To the best of his ability, anyway. His heavy eyelids were half closed as he gazed at his 'intruder'.

"Ry..." Brendon couldn't help to whisper. Blinking a few times at his voice, Ryan soon realized who it was.

"Br-Brendon..?" he said, squinting to him clearly. Bren couldn’t contain himself anymore. With two bounds, he was at Ryan's bedside, bent down and embracing him. All his held-back tears came rushing out as he choked on his breaths, still holding a slightly dazed Ryan Ross close to him. "Brenny..." he murmured again, face contorted in pain, but attempting to bring a hand up to place on Brendon's back. Though this hug was hurting him, he wouldn't utter a single sound of discomfort. Brendon had finally arrived.

After a few more moments of hugging, Brendon let go, tears still flowing strong as he tried to compose himself. With a shaky sigh, he asked in a rush, "Can I get you anything, Ry? More blankets, you cold? Any food, you hungry? Want me to sing you a song?" This caused Ryan to cough a laugh, wincing as he did so.

"Bren," he croaked Brendon's name for the 3rd time, "I'm not sick and we're not 14. The nurses will take care of me." Ryan's hazel eyes met Brendon's, who almost immediately looked away. He couldn't stand to see his deep, sombre eyes. A tad hurt, Ryan decided to add, "I'll keep a rain check on that song, though, a'right?" Brendon was quiet, but shortly, a small, sweet smile appeared on his face. Even in this mess, the two boys were still able to smile. They remained in their current positions, managing to lock eyes. It Brendon's mind, he wished that the small gap between him and Ryan would fade... That Brendon could caress that pain away, to hold Ryan in his arms, make everything better... He still felt guilty. He felt as if it were all his fault that the boy he loved with all his heart was laying before him, damaged mentally and physically. But he could never do that. Kiss him, I mean. He knew where he stood. Merely a friend, nothing more. Ryan and Keltie would get married someday, perhaps have children, start a family. And where did that leave Brendon..? If only Ryan knew... Ah, but if only Brendon knew, what was processing in Ryan's head right at this moment. Their thoughts weren't so different... Mind you, Ryan wasn't particularly in his right mind, but he knew what he wanted, and in these last few days, he had made up his mind. Could he ever admit to anyone that he was beginning to develop a deep love for a boy? He couldn't even admit it to himself. As both men spiralled deeper into their own separate thoughts, they didn't realize that slowly, very slowly, the space between them was shrinking. Brendon was starting to take small steps towards Ryan, who lay, almost waiting for it to happen...

B: 'Why can't I stop myself? Why isn't he stopping me?'

R: 'Damn it, why is he taking so long? He wants it, I want it... Do I want it? Do I really?'

B: 'He can't seriously want me to kiss him. He's mentally ill, I suppose, he doesn't know what's happening...'

R: 'Come on, come on... Why is he playing with me? God knows how long he's been waiting to do this... Don't tell me he's scared.'

B: '... I only wish I knew what was going through his head right now.'

R: 'Kiss me!'

And as soon as Ryan thought that, Brendon's lips came down upon his... Forehead. Both of them were hot and blushing. Brendon retreated, stood back and looked down at Ryan, with a somewhat sad, lop-sided smile. "I shouldn't be here, Ryro. You need to rest. I'll be back later... With a guitar, to sing you that song. Promise." he assured the older boy, who's mouth was slightly open and his eyes round as saucers. Without giving Ryan time to answer, he had turned on his heels and was opening the door. Ryan was about to call after him, when Keltie, Spencer and Jon came in. He was overcome with questions and a back-breaking hug from Keltie, as he watched Brendon give him one last look before taking off down the hallway, to go to the washroom.