Swallowed in Grief, Healed by Time

The first night we spent with the guys wasn't all that bad. As soon as we got to the bus I went to the back and didn't come out until the next morning. Even then I just walked through the bus and off of it. Braden wasn't up yet and once again he's going to kill me. I have my phone on me this time though so he can't yell at me as much. Actually he didn't really yell at me all that much. He just kept telling me to never do that again. Oh yeah, he's going to kill now that I've done it again the next day.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?"

I looked up to see that Frank had joined me. We sat on a small bench and just watched the sun come up for a few minutes. Frank put his arm around me and pulled me closely to him. I cuddled into him and just tried to escape from the world.

"How are you doing Elise?" Frank asked softly.

"I'm fine," I whispered.

"Honestly," Frank stated.

"I'll be fine," I whispered.

"I have something for you. I managed to snatch it before any of the others saw it," Frank said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small envelope. "Here."

He handed me the envelope and I stared at the perfect writing on the front. I looked up at Frank but he didn't say anything, just motioned towards the letter. Slowly I turned it over and opened it. Tears came to my eyes as my mothers hand writing greeted me. She had written me a letter, why? Unless she had something to fear.

Dearest Brianna,

I know you hate being called Brianna but it suits you more than you know. If you are reading this now we have been separated and I'm no longer with you. There are a great many things that I need to tell you, though honestly I'm not sure where to start. I guess I should start by telling you about my family, your family.

Years ago I was living in a small apartment with my best friend at the time. Her name was Chesley and she was amazing. You would've loved her. Anyways, while I was there I got an interesting phone call from a man claiming to be my brother. I was adopted, you see, and my biological brother had finally tracked me down. So over the course of a year I got to know him and his friends very well. I even fell in love with one of his best friends.

At the time though, Aaron was pursuing me. Yes, the same Aaron that we lived with and he more than likely killed me. I had dated Aaron a few years before I met my brother. Aaron was abusive and nearly killed me, that's the point at which I left. So I was on the run from him before and during the time I was with my brother. I knew that I had to get away from the guys or Aaron would kill them to get to me. He showed several times just how close he could be and I knew that for their safety I had to leave. Of course, when I was leaving I had no idea that I was pregnant. So, I left and changed my name in hopes that Aaron would never find me, which of course didn't work out. My real name is Angel Marie Sanders.

Seven months after I parted ways with the guys I gave birth to two beautiful children. You guys knew all along that Aaron wasn't your father as he didn't come into the picture until you were in middle school. Your father has no idea that you two exist. In fact, he's got a child already and has no idea that he's also the father of two wonderful twins. I never could work up the guts to call him and tell him. I knew he would hate me for leaving the way that I did.

Anyways, I'm sure you are with the MCR guys so tell them all hi for me and I miss them dearly. They will take good care of you. If you are with them then I'm sure you are also on tour. You will run into, if you haven't already, a band by the name of Avenged Sevenfold. They used to be my best friends and I'm sure they are still great guys. Bee, you will love them if you get the chance to meet them.

In fact I pray that you get the chance to meet them because that is the only way you will meet your uncle and father. You are probably putting it together now because you are a very smart cookie, you take after me in that aspect. Matt Sanders, or M. Shadows, is my older brother making him your uncle. It's your choice as to whether or not you want either party knowing about this but I highly suggest that you at least tell your brother if not anyone else. He deserves to know more than anyone but the guys deserve to know as well. It's your choice, however. I didn't send them a letter and they have no idea the two of you exist.

Your father, which I'm sure you are very curious about, is a great man. I know that should you decide to tell him that he would take both you and Braden in. I apologize for putting you in a situation where you have to be the one to explain all of this to him. You can give him this letter if that would make things easier. I think that you will be surprised to find out just how much you are like him. Everyday I could look at you and see him. Of course, that probably means that you aren't going to get along with him because that's just how you are. You get that from him, by the way. You also get your guitar skills from him. Yes, I have heard you secretly trying to learn guitar. For only having taken it up a few months ago you are doing very well and I am very proud of you. Maybe someday you will follow in your father's footsteps and start a band that gets really big.

Now that I have narrowed it down and leave you sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation...your father is Brian Haner Jr. or Synyster Gates. Yes, you were named after him because something told me that you would be a lot like him. Had you grown up with him I'm positive you would've been a daddy's girl one hundred percent. That's ok though because I still have Braden, my momma's boy. I have not told Braden about any of this, I hope that you will give him this letter so he can find out. Please don't keep this from your brother, if you keep it from anyone else. He deserves to know.

I love you more than anything,
Mom

P.S. Give them a chance for me. That's my last request.

Holy shit!

"Elise? Eli are you ok?" Frank asked. "What did the letter say?"

"My father," I whispered not being about to really speak because I was in too much shock.

"What?" Frank asked looking over at me.

"She told me who my father was," I whispered still clutching the letter closely.

"Who?" Frank asked.

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else," I told him as I moved my eyes to meet his. "I don't want anyone else to know until I'm ready to tell them."

"Will you at least tell Braden?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, I'll tell my brother. He deserves to know who his father is," I whispered.

"Who is he?" Frank whispered.

"Brian Haner," I stated.