A Drama Provider

Hanging out with Kyle wasn’t near as bad as I’d thought it’d be. It felt good to have his warm hand holding my tiny one, like things were back to normal for a few hours. Then he got called to go play their set and afterward sign at their booth. That still felt normal, but the fact that I avoided both wasn’t. I didn’t think I was strong enough to see Jonathan just yet, after the tragic blow he’d gave me yesterday morning I was planning on avoiding him at all costs for quite some time.

“So you’ve decided to grace us with your beautiful presence, finally?” Jack laughed as I stepped onto All Time Low’s bus. I had told Alex that I was spending the day with Kyle during nap time, but I hadn’t thought to mention it to the other guys.

“Only because I’m starving.” I joked and took the hot pocket from his hand. This, of course, ensued to Jack tackling me to the bus floor and sitting on my back until I handed over his hot pocket.

“Jack, what are doing sitting on Delly?” Zack questioned as he came out of the bunk area, shirtless like always, and followed by Matt who shook his head at the two of us.

“Because she stole my Hot Pocket.” Jack grinned as he held up the sleeve with pride before sliding off my back and laying down beside me. “So whatcha been up do, Delly?” I couldn’t help but giggle as he started to eat the hot pocket with the most innocent face I’d ever seen.

“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you all day, which is odd, cause usually your moping around the bus or attached to Alex’s hip.” Zack sat on the couch and looked amused that he’d just realized I’d been absent.

“For starters, I am not always attached to Alex’s hip or moping, in fact, I do neither.” I corrected as all three boys rolled their eyes as if to say ‘yeah, right’. I ignored this and continued. “And I’ve been spending the day with Kyle, just relaxing and joking around like we used to.”

“Like you used to?” Matt repeated and quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, what is up with you guys?” Jack asked with his mouth full of his hot pocket. I cleared my throat, mostly from nerves, and started to try and word things right in my head. Then it was like it smacked me in the forehead and I sat upright, looking down at Jack.

“Do you believe in fate?” Jack’s eyebrows scrunched together and I looked up to see similar expressions on both Zack and Matt’s faces.

“I think you’re avoiding the question.” Matt sat forward, and I could see the concern beginning to form. It felt a little strange to have these boys worried about me, with as little time we’d spent together compared to how much I’ve spent with Forever The Sickest Kids.

“But I’m not,” I smiled and crossed my legs, Indian style, underneath me. “Fate is such a beautiful concept, and it’s something I fully believe in with everything in me.”

“So, Fate is out to get you?” Jack put together slowly and I shook my head.

“Not exactly, but it just feels like fate is started on something, you know, like how you can just feel the change between seasons, that’s how it feels right now.” As the words came out, they felt so right. Strange how that keeps happening, not knowing what I mean until I blurt the things out themselves.

“That’s a pretty big change.” Jack commented and I nodded a little, looking down at my shoes.

“It’s pretty scary too.” I added and the room got quiet. Before I knew it, all three boys were throwing their arms around me and screaming ‘I love you’ at me, making me giggle a little.

“What’s all the commotion for?” Rian yelled over them and we all turned to stare at him in the doorway, Alex right beside him with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk playing at his lips.

“Delly’s having a mid life crisis.” Jack answered and I rolled my eyes.

“I am not having a mid life crisis.” I protested and wiggled a bit to get someone’s elbow out of my stomach. “I was just discussing the concept of fate with these boys and then they tackled me like this.”

“I want in!” Alex yelled before diving at us and causing me to squeal like a girly girl afraid of a mud puddle.

“I’ll stay back here, but I love you too Delly.” Rian laughed and I vaguely noticed him grabbing the buzznet phone and taking a few shots of everybody squeezing the breath out of me. At one point I felt someone’s wet tongue on the back of my shoulder and that’s where I drawled the line, thrashing until everyone had let go of me.

“You guys are so gross sometimes.” I shook my head and watched as they chuckled, going back to the random things they were doing beforehand. All except for Alex, who was still holding that undeniable smirk on his lips.

“So, Ms. Delly, how has the lovely Mr. Burns been treating you?” His voice was lowered as he stood beside me in the small kitchen area, probably so the other guys wouldn’t hear.

“Fine.” I was a bit taken aback by his smirk. Usually it was smiles, not smirks, and this one looked particularly menacing. “How has your day been?” I asked, trying to be cautious, but by how his smirk widened, I was guessing I’d asked just the question he was waiting for.

“Not so great actually, I think I’m starting to get a sore throat.” His hand went up to his adam’s apple and started to rub it. “And being the future planner that I am,” at this I scoffed. Alex never planned two seconds into the future, he was more of the spontaneous, in the moment kind of guy. “I was thinking, and Matt already agreed to it so you’ve got no way out of it, but I was thinking if my voice goes out or my throat gets to sore that maybe you could take my place since your voice is so amazing and I know you know all of our songs.” My hands froze in the air and my mouth hung open as Alex’s light chuckle played in my ears. “Don’t look so shocked, you’re good enough to be in your own band if you wanted.” He patted my back lightly and I was finally able to turn my head to look at him before he walked off. I was glad to see his smirk had been replaced by his usual smile.

“I don’t think so!” I yelled after him, though I knew it be useless to argue if it came down to it. Between Zack, Rian, and Matt there was no chance of saying no.

“Delly, your phone is ringing!” Delicious came from the back with my vibrating phone in his outstretched hand. “Says’ it’s Marc.” My eyebrows scrunched together as I pushed myself up from the ground and reached for the phone.

“Aren’t you supposed to be selling merch?” I asked curiously as he shrugged and walked off. I flipped the phone open and was about to greet my good ol’ secret keeper, but I didn’t get one word out before he was yelling at me.

“Adele, are you fucking stupid!? What the hell! I can’t believe you would hurt the poor boy like you have, I thought you were crazy in love with him!” Marc was screaming in my ear and I pulled the phone away with a wince as I calmly exited the bus to talk in a little bit of privacy.

“Calm down Stewart!” I yelled and sighed as he took a deep breath and then blew it into the speaker. “Okay, for starters, I don’t like being called stupid that was just mean.”

“Let’s start over.” His voice was evened out as I sat on the ground, leaning against the bus. I could already tell this was a conversation that I could not handle standing. “What happened between you and Jonathan yesterday?” I was a little surprised by his question since I figured none of the FTSK boys knew about Cook and I’s little meeting.

“Let’s see, I gushed and told him I had feelings for him that I’ve had for a while, he said he did too but things have changed and we’re screwed and then something about how we should leave things where they are, and pretty much just stabbing my heart with a dagger.” I summed up and sighed, picking at the grass beside me.

“I guess I should have figured as much.” Marc sighed and I could hear a little muffling on his side. “He showed up here all sad and depressed and I guessed I just figured you’d crushed him to be with one of the other two.”

“Well, you got it backwards, he crushed me.” I noticed the bitter tone I added.

“He was lying, Dell.” Marc’s words brought my mind into even more confusion. “Jonathan lied to save you two from starting drama and ruining the band, and ruining your relationship with Kyle. He loves you just as much as he did three years ago and I don’t know why he’d want you to think otherwise.”

“Cause this is just one huge screwed up love triangle!” I stated with frustration.

“Triangle?” Marc laughed. “Try hexagon, I heard about the little thing between you and Gaskarth.”

“There is nothing between Gaskarth and I, we’re just friends, but you’re right, it is more like a hexagon.” I sighed again and let my head fall into my hand that was resting on my knee. “Things are so screwed.”

“But they can always be unscrewed.” Marc added hopefully and I just groaned in response. “Okay, well, I’m going to let you go so you can deal with your drama.”

“Thanks.” Sarcasm dripped from the word.

“Anytime, Dell, later.” I closed the phone without saying bye back, knowing he’d already hung on me anyway. In frustration, I threw my phone and let my face fall to my hands.

“Mother fucking shit!” I yelled and tried steadying my breathing. This was getting ridiculous. So many boys chasing me at once, all of them sweet in their own way, but I can’t have them all. I was going to have to let some of them go, and I knew exactly where to start.

I stood up and grabbed my phone from where I’d thrown it, walking off with determinism written all over me. Before I even made it anywhere, my phone went off again.

Kyle.

“Hey doll.” I answered, not faking enthusiasm but not sounding very chipper either.

”Hey Dell, we just finished set like twenty minutes ago and the guys are gonna go to the tent to sign, but I snook away to finish our lazy day, so where you want to meet?” I looked around briefly.

“Madina Lake’s bus?” I spotted the white van about thirty feet in the distance and headed for it.

”Mkay, I’ll meet you there in five.” He sounded a bit confused as to why we’d meet there, but happy nonetheless. I winced and closed the phone, sliding it into my pocket as I leaned against the white van. One guy, just pick one guy. But how the hell am I supposed to do that?

“Just fuck it all.” I groaned and banged my head back.

“Whoa, chill girl.” I turned to see Matthew exiting the van while laughing. I smiled the best I could, but I knew it looked more fake than anything else. “Okay, spill.” His smile turned serious as he leaned against the van with me and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I hate guys.” I told him monotonously and laid my head back again, without the banging this time.

“Ouch, that hurts.” Matthew held his chest for a few seconds, trying to lighten the mood with a joke but when I didn’t laugh he went back to serious. “I thought you and the Burns were all, perfect and stuff.”

“Yeah, so did I.” I mumbled and watched as he quirked an eyebrow. “Who knows what perfect is? Better yet, who knows what love is?”

“You know you’re only coming up with that shit cause you need an excuse.” Matthew shook his head and I sighed, looked down at our shoes. “Love is strange, but you know it when you feel it.” He pushed himself away from the van and I glanced up, spotting the same thing he probably had, the blonde jogging our way. “Just think about Jack and Sally.” He shrugged as he started to walk off.

“Jack and Sally?” I repeated and finally let a smile take over as I laughed a little.

“Yeah; Jack and Sally, that was love.” He laughed and shook his head before turning around.

“Hey babe.” Kyle grinned as he reached me and swooped down to kiss my cheek.

“Ew, you’re all sweaty.” I used my fingertips to push him away the best I could while he just chuckled at my face. “How was the set?”

“Amazing! The kids are actually starting to sing along and jam out. It’s so awesome.” Kyle’s grin was ecstatic and contagious, till it dimmed a little. “I wish you’d come by and watch us. You know we never played without you until last week.”

“I’m sure there were other times I wasn’t at shows Kyle,” I giggled as his eyes widened and his shook his head fiercely.

“Nope. You’ve always been there, and all our practices at home. It’s like you’re our charm, and now you’re gone.” He added a little melancholy.

“And the show was still awesome.” I tried to put in but Kyle just shook his head.

“It’s not the same.” He muttered and then leaned against the van. “So, what are we doing over here?” I tried laughing, but it came out with such an off tone, like it was forced.

“Well, you remember how I was talking about fate and all.” That awkward laugh came out again and Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed together.

“Yeah,” the word came out slow and strung with confusion. I could tell he was preparing for the worst.

“Well, I think I’ve got a feeling where it’s going.” I mumbled to my feet and glanced over at Kyle to see his eyes closed again. He sighed, long and heavy.

“Let me guess, it’s not with me.” He sounded so bitter and so tired. The guilt was washing over me again for making him feel like that. The guilt was so thick; it felt like it was choking me, making sure I couldn’t say another word to hurt him. I settled for slowly shaking my head and listening to his sigh again. “I’m gonna go then, I’ll talk to you later Dell.” My cheek stung where he lightly kissed me. I watched him walk away with his head down and his hands in his pockets. It felt strange to watch him look so defeated when I’d spent so long keeping him together.

“You look like you need some fresh Zen.” I turned at the familiar voice to see Nathan standing at the other end of the van.

“You know, you sound a lot like your brother.” I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he faked hurt and came closer.

“Ouch, you know that hurts. I was just trying to be helpful; you look like you’ve got too much on your plate and refreshing your Zen really helps.” He held his hands up in defense as he went about opening the passenger door and getting something from inside.

“No amount of Zen refreshing could save me from the shit storm I’m in.” I muttered and pushed away from the van. “But thanks for the offer.” I waved as I headed back for ATL’s bus and entered the cool air. The boys were in their same exact positions as before.

“Whoa, someone’s got a bad mood.” Jack stated as I slammed the door behind me.

“It’s hot outside.” I mumbled and headed for the back, quickly climbing into the bunk I was sharing with Alex. It was only a few minutes later when I felt another body ease into the tiny space, pressing against my back while arms wrapped around my waist and lips caressed my shoulder.

“Delly?” Alex’s usually smooth voice was starting to sound a bit hoarse.

“Yes.” I sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that were forming. I didn’t want to cry, especially not in front of Alex again.

“You know the day after tomorrow is a day off in Florida.” Though he sounded a bit sick, I could hear a big grin on his face. “Jack and I were thinking of going to Disney World, you want to go with us?” He squeezed me and I let a small smile form on my lips. Jack at Disney World would be like a kid with ADHD in a candy store, overnight. I turned on my side so I could face Alex.

“I’d love to go.” I whispered as I snuggled into his chest.

“Great.” He started to move his hands up and down on my back for comfort. I loved how he could tell when I needed that, something peaceful and calming. “Are you going to come watch us today?” He pulled back a little so he could look down at me and I just smiled wider.

“Hell yeah!” I yelled and rolled over him and out of the bunk. How could I not feel better watching a rock show?