Love's Requiem

Alex gave me my space for the rest of the day; he went to go see Gabe while I stayed home wrapped in blankets watching movies. Around midnight Alex came back and I was in the middle of watching Everything is Illuminated which always put me in better spirits.

“Are you still hormonal?” Alex asked cautiously as he took of his coat.

“I am if you’re still an impregnating asshole.” I spit back.

“You’re unbelievable!” He exclaimed throwing his arms in the air, “The one situation where you really shouldn’t be pushing me away you do just that! I get it you wanted to be with Niko well then lets just go get this taken care of and you can get what you want. That perfect life with him where you’ll have little Croatian babies and you’ll be home all day to take care of them while he plays soccer and gives you everything and anything.” He ranted.

“I don’t know what I want!” I exclaimed scooping up Zita and going back to my room.

I heard Alex let out a frustrated grunt before slamming the door to the other bedroom.
Alex stayed for another day that we kept silent to one another, and gave each other space.

“I’ll see you in two weeks.” I said blankly to Alex as I was walking him to his gate at the airport.

“Yeah, that’s your next doctor’s appointment right?” He asked me.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Have a safe flight.” I told him as he went to hug me but I just turned away.

“Thanks.” He grumbled as we headed in our opposite directions.

I spent the next two weeks be a complete and utter hermit doing research on pregnancy, everything from buying books to reading things online. I also seemed to have taken up a habit of crying myself to sleep almost every night due to the fact that I had no idea what I was going to do and that I once again had that empty hole feeling back in my chest.

The morning of my doctor’s appointment rolled around a few days before we were leaving for another Japan, Australia, and New Zealand tour so everyone else would slowly be showing up in New York to leave.

I was in the middle of drying my hair when there was a knock on my door. I went to open it already knowing whom it was.

“I brought you some breakfast.” Alex said wheeling in his suitcase and throwing his backpack down as he handed me a dunkin donuts bag.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to.” I told him, feeling a flutter in my stomach.

“Your welcome.” He said simply as he went to play with Zita.

I finished doing my hair and make up, ate and then Alex and I left heading to the doctor. Because I was getting close to being 2 months, the doctor prescribed some vitamins for me to start taking. He also printed out a picture of the sonogram.

“Who do you think it looks like?” Alex joked while we were driving back to my apartment.

“Osmosis Jones.” I said with a yawn as I looked down at the picture. “Do you want it?” I asked him.

“He gave me a copy.”

“Oh,” I nodded.

We sat quietly in my living room when we got back; I was once again wrapped in a blanket while Alex and I were having a starring contest. Don’t ask how it started, it just did.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” I told him still not blinking.

“I’m sorry I knocked you up.”

“Once again both our faults.”

“Still.” He pressed. “We need to stick together for this. We can’t keep breaking in to world war three.”

“You’re just the only person who can cause me to lose my temper that easily and in that short amount of time.” I sighed blinking and resting my head back against the couch.

“We’ll what if I promise to stop being such a dick if you promise to limit the meltdowns to maybe three a week?”

“That could work.”

“You look tired.”

“I feel tired.”

“How about you nap?”

“My room is freezing.”

“I’ll go with you and watch TV while you sleep.” He told me helping me up as we headed for my
room where Zita already was sleeping on my bed.

I went under the blankets along with Alex and cuddled in to him to try and get warm.

“Better?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

“A little.” I mumbled resting my head on his chest slowly falling asleep.

When I woke up later on I ran to the bathroom feeling sick to my stomach.

“You okay?” Alex asked running after me.

“Yeah,” I grumbled wiping the side of my mouth.

“So how do you plan on hiding your pregnancy on tour?” Alex asked me while we waited for the Chinese we ordered for dinner.

“Stomach ulcer.”

“Stomach ulcer? You really think that’s going to work?”

“Worked for my mom.” I shrugged.

“What?”

“My dad got my mom pregnant when she was 18, until they were married she told my
grandparents that she had some sort of stomach ulcer. They totally fell for it.”

“So you’re going to tell everyone you have a stomach ulcer? What about when you start to show?”

“By then we’ll have some sort of game plan.”

“You planned this out didn’t you?”

“Nope just the cover up part.” I told him as the door buzzed.

The next morning we had to meet everyone at the airport to leave for Japan. My mom gave us a lift since she had to pick up Zita anyway.