If I Was Perfect Then This Would Be Easy

I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die

I groaned, but didn't open my eyes as I extended my arm to grab the phone off the nightstand, only to realize that the phone wasn't mine. My eyes shot open and I sat up, pulling the sheets around me. I looked to see if he was in bed, but he wasn't. There was no sign of him being in the bathroom, either. Damn. The phone stopped ringing and I recognized it as Brian's. Perhaps I should let him know that Jimmy had gave him a call.

I decided to take a shower, but that didn't last long and when I was finally cleaned and dressed up in some of Brian's clothes, I sighed. I was pretty much willing to do anything to avoid facing Brian. Ridiculous, since this was his house, after all. And why was I even nervous? We only slept together. I sighed and violently opened the door. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what made me nervous: his reaction. We fucked (and I loved every fucking minute of it) but for all I knew, he might be having regrets. It wasn't like it hadn't happened to me before. I grabbed the phone, opened the door and made my way downstairs slowly. I inhaled sharply as I heard Brian's voice from the kitchen.

"Pinkly, give me the fucking fedora back," he hissed. I chuckled silently as the dog gave him a defying bark. I walked in the kitchen more nervous than I had been the night before and Brian stopped arguing with the dog as his eyes landed on me. He watched me with a blank face and I smiled sheepishly.

"Hey," I mumbled, scratching the back of my hed. Still, my shy smile was there. A grin suddenly broke on Brian's face as he walked over to me. I couldn't help it and glanced at his well toned body. Yet again, he only wore a pair of shorts or something.

"Good morning, beautiful," he replied with a smirk.

I chuckled sincerely, the whole nervousness disappearing all of a sudden and Brian's eyes lit up. I took a step back and hit the wall, while Brian placed one of his muscular tattooed arms on the wall near my head and leaned on it. The smirk was plastered on his face all the while.

"Does this mean you're okay with everything?" I asked, trying to pull a straight face. Brian watched me in disbelieve.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"I don't know. I mean, it's okay if you're regretting or anything," I mumbled and he tensed up. By the serious look on his face, I became worried that he might've gotten the wrong message. "But not that I'd want you to! Because I don't regret it," I quickly added, and looked down embarassed by my meaningless rant.

"I'm glad you're not regretting anything. I know I'm not," he whispered seductively in my ear, making me look him in the eyes. He smiled before crashing his lips onto mine. I felt like I was melting right there and he smirked mid kiss, before putting both of his hands on my waist and pulling me against him as much as possible. I snaked my arms around his neck and bit his lower lip, making him shudder lightly. He pulled away and raised his eyebrow playfully. I followed his actions and smirked.

"You're something else, you know that?" Brian muttered as he pinned me to the wall again and started placing soft kisses on my neck, making me giggle. He pulled away and smiled at me. "I loved every fucking minute of last night," he mumbled. I felt my hearbeat increase and I grinned, putting my arms around his shoulders.

"I did, too," I replied honestly and Brian smirked, capturing my lips in a kiss.

"Did you put Chop Suey as your ringtone?" I asked with a chuckle, playing around with his phone. He laughed.

"My phone began ringing?"

"Yup. Jimmy called," I replied and grinned as he tried to take his phone, but I pulled it out of his way just in time. "And what is up with the song? I thought you hated it," I accused and he shrugged innocently.

"Yeah, well...Your music tastes are fucking contagious," he admitted sheepishly, making me giggle. "You made me curious about what other fucked up songs you have to show me." I shook my head with a chuckle, but nodded nonetheless. I gave him his phone and he kissed my cheek.

"I guess I could show you some fucked up stuff." He laughed. I looked around for a watch. My eyes landed on a digital watch on the counter and I smiled sheepishly. "I suppose I should be going." Brian's head shot my way and he watched me seriously.

"You...Is something wrong?" he stuttered.

"Uh, no..but I don't think you're really going to want to spend the whole day with me in your house." He rolled his eyes.

"Here we go again. How many times am I supposed to tell you that I'm more than fucking extasic about having you here?" Brian paused, a smirk growing on his face as he placed his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. He brought his face closer to mine. "And after last night, I'm not really sure I want you to leave ever again." I chuckled nervously and bit my lip. Chop Suey began playing again and Brian groaned, looking at the caller ID. He glanced at me and I nodded, indicating him to answer. He smiled and I sat at the kitchen table. Odd how I wasn't even hungry due to how happy I was. Brian went to put his fedora in the hallway, answering the phone at the same time.

"What the fuck is it, Jimmy?" I heard him say. "Yeah...What? Fuck no....No....Because..I...have someone over." Brian walked back in the kitchen and I chuckled at the annoyed look on his face. He glanced at me and gave me a look telling me that I was going to pay for that. "Fuck you, Jim." I could picture Jimmy laughing at this and giving Brian a proper reply. "Dude, do whatever the fuck you want. I'm going to spend the rest of the day with her," Brian paused, his eyes meeting mine. He looked at me worried as he spoke those words, as if unsure of something. "That's, if she'll want to." I only became aware of my grin when Brian smirked at me as he took a seat across from me at the kitchen table. "Yeah, I'll talk to you later."

"What did Jimmy want?" I asked, leaning against the table and facing him.

"He said he felt like going out and getting drunk." I looked at him weirdly.

"It's barely noon."

"Yeah, well that's Jimmy. But I don't feel like drinking anything. Matter of factly, how about we get something to eat and then we'll go on a ride? With the bike." I chuckled and put my finger on my chin, looking around thoughtfully.

"You realize I don't have any clothes for change," I reminded him. He eyed me for a while, then looked back at me with a smirk.

"What are you talking about? You look hella great in my clothes. A bit large for you, but that's not a problem."

"Brian, I don't know about you, but I don't feel like going for a walk in a pair of your shorts and a t-shirt." He began laughing as I rolled my eyes and got closer to me, placing a soft kiss on my lips. A smile spread on my face as I looked at him.

"Just felt like doing that. And as for the motherfucking clothes...babe, don't worry. We'll take care of that," he explained. "Matter of fact, I think you look good without any clothes," Brian added slowly and I fake gasped, although I could feel my cheeks burn. Brian straightened himself and I followed his actions. "I'm hungry. So..do you want to eat here or do I have the pleasure of inviting you out?" I laughed and pointed at the shorts I was wearing. He snickered and I his face lit up as an idea hit him.

***

An hour later, I walked outside through the backdoor and sat on the steps, looking at the beach and the clear water. Brian handed me my coffee and sat next to me, grinning.

"I'm still expecting you to say I'm a genius," he declared proudly.

"What for?" I quirked my eyebrow.

Brian rolled his eyes. "For having the brilliant idea of ordering a very special breakfast," he replied in a nerdy voice and I bursted out laughing. He tried to suppres a grin. "Now, admit that I'm a genius," he ordered. I stopped laughing and placed my coffee on the stairs slowly.

"Or else what, Haner?" I teased sticking my tongue at him. He smirked.

"Or else I might have to put you to a fucking good use." I gasped. "Now admit it."

"Oh, well...you know what?" I smirked as I stood up. "I will never admit that you're a genius!" I yelled as I took off down the beach. I glanced behind me and chuckled as I saw Brian close behind. But it didn't seem to be my lucky day as I stumbled and fell on the sand laughing.

"No!" I yelled, yet still laughing, as Brian straddled my hips with a grin.

"Gotcha. Oh, Spades, now you're going down," he warned. Before I knew it, Brian began tickling me and I couldn't help but burst into a fit of giggles.

"B-Bri, s-stop!" I tried to glare at him, but couldn't stop laughing as he began to tickle me again. "Haner, s-stop!" He bursted out laughing and leaned forward, bringing his face inches from mine.

"Say it," he muttered and tickled my sides. I giggled and smacked his arm playfully, while he wiggled his eyebrows at me, making me roll my eyes. "Say it, or we're going to be standing like this all day long." Brian smirked and went back to tickling me.

"O-Okay," I managed to say and Brian stopped. "I admit it...Brian fucking Haner is a genius!"

"Don't forget about 'Jr', babe," Brian added with a smirk and I laughed, making his smirk transform into a dreamy smile. I looked at him oddly. "What?"

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" I asked.

He hesitated before replying, "Nothing." I nodded and eyed his position.

"So...do I get to sit up or are we going to sit like this all day long?" He laughed before stealing another kiss from me.

"I kinda like it here...on the beach, I mean," he added the last part quickly, making me giggle. "But...I think you're not really comfortable, are you?" Brian didn't wait for a response as he sat up and helped me up, indicating me to sit between his legs on the warm sand. I did as told with a smirk plastered on my face. He wrapped his arms around me and I couldn't help but smile. However, that smile faded as questions suddenly popped into my head.

What was it we were doing? Was it some ridiculous crush? Were we even at the stage of being a couple?

"You never talk about your past," Brian muttered, placing his head on my shoulder. I tensed up and I knew he felt that, too.

"What would you like to know?" I asked cautiously.

Brian hesitated, probably thinking it through. "I don't know...ex...boyfriends. You know...stuff." I chuckled at how he had said 'stuff'. I was really wondering if I could really talk about all my past. It wasn't that I didn't trust Brian, or anything, but I didn't think I could bring myself to tell him everything. So I decided to go wtih small details.

"Well, I never really had a serious relationship, to be honest. Just...three or four random fucks," I mumbled, fidgetting with his boardshorts. "I guess you could say I'm a fucking whore." He roared with laughter and I realized how comfortable I was sitting, leaning into his chest, my head resting on his shouider and him holding me like I was some fucking teddy bear.

"Rockstar, you'll never be a whore," he stated smiling. A smirk crept onto his face as he seemed to remember something. "I can't believe I forgot it." He reached into his back pocket and took out a bracelet. "Check this out."

He handed it to me and I inspected the skulls. Truthfully, it was my kind of bracelet. "It's awesome. Where did you get it?" I asked, handing it back to him. But to my surprise, he left it my hand and smirked.

"Somewhere. I hope you'll enjoy wearing it." My jaw dropped and he snickered. "Come on, I liked it and since I can't wear it, I thought you could." I laughed.

"Thanks." He kissed my collarbone before whispering 'not a problem'.