We Could Have Fallen in Love

For SJ, it wasn’t about being thin. That was the last thing SJ even cared about.

It was about power. Control. SJ needed something, anything that she could control in her hectic life. She craved that feeling of authority. And making herself vomit was the only way she could get that feeling.

No one knew about it. It was SJ’s best kept secret.

After leaving the stall and brushing her teeth with the toothbrush she always carried with her, SJ left the London office to hurry back to her dorm room. It was pretty dark by the time she got back to the London Institute of Art college campus. SJ pulled her jacket closer around her thin frame as she shivered, walking alone to her dorm.

“Hey—SJ!”

SJ almost jumped, startled. A dark figure ran to catch up with her. As it drew closer, she could see it was Tosh Hunter. “Hey, Tosh,” she said to him when he was next to her.

“Walking alone?” He flashed her a grin. “I think I might have to accompany you. Make sure you’re not raped or summat.”

SJ laughed. “Wow, thanks.” Tosh was her latest boytoy. She’d hooked up with him in her Still Life drawing class, when they’d been assigned as partners to draw a mop. When they’d gone to a broom closet to get one, they’d ended up kissing instead. And it had gone from there.

They chatted as they crossed the campus. “Hey, you doing anything tonight?” Tosh asked her once they reached her building.

“No, why?” SJ smiled up at him.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to, you know, celebrate the last day of classes together,” he said to her, his voice low and his face in shadows.

SJ cocked her head at him. “And exactly how did you plan to celebrate?”

“Well…your roommates not home, is she?” His face was hidden by shadows, but SJ knew what he was suggesting.

She paused for a minute before answering. “Come on up,” she finally said, smirking at him.

“Dougie?”

“Yeah?” the bassist answered lazily from where he was sprawled on a couch in his bandmate Harry Judd’s living room. He had just gotten back from dinner with his sister, and he, Tom Fletcher, and Danny Jones were all hanging out at Harry’s place.

Harry appeared in the doorway. Dougie tried to raise his head to look at him but couldn’t be bothered. “What?” he asked him.

“Er, well…” Harry cleared his throat nervously, which was a sure sign he was about to say something Dougie wasn’t going to like. “Well. I’m leaving now to go visit SJ.”

“And I would say send my regards, but I really can’t be arsed to care,” Dougie said back in a bored tone. He already knew Harry was going to see his cousin. He didn’t need to tell him again.

“And Tom and Danny are coming with me as well,” Harry continued.

Dougie kept his eyes on the ceiling. “Right, and?”

“Well, er, I really wanted you to come, too,” Harry said in a rush.

Dougie sat up right away. “What?!” he demanded.

“Dougie,” Harry sighed. “Please, I want you to just make an effort. It’s been a couple of months. I’m sure you two can handle being in the same room.”

“I don’t want to go see her,” Dougie told him flatly.

“Look, Doug, I don’t want one of my best mates and my cousin to hate each other. Again,” Harry said, frustrated. “It’s a pain in the arse really. Can you please be the better person, instead of acting immature as always?”

“Who’s being immature, I’m not being immature at all,” Dougie muttered immaturely.

“Dougie,” Harry tried again to convince him, but Dougie cut him off.

“Harry, she lied to me, in case you forgot!” Dougie pointed out angrily. “So pardon me if I just really don’t want to see her.”

Harry sighed as Dougie’s eyes stayed focused on the ceiling above him. From the very slight creak in the couch, Dougie could tell Harry had sat down on the other side. “Dougie, you can’t run away from her,” Harry said softly. When Dougie didn’t say anything, he added, “You’re going to eventually bump into her sometime. It’s not like you’re never going to see her again. You have to learn to deal with it.”

Dougie stayed silent, his curiosity to see her battling with his very much still alive fury at her.

“It’s not like you have anything else to do tonight,” Harry pointed out.

Dougie quickly considered. He really didn’t want to spend the night drinking beer by himself and watching bad TV. “Alright, fine,” he grumbled, swinging his legs over the couch to sit up. As he stood up to get ready, he could’ve sworn Harry was gloating.