Dreaming Up A Secret

“Come’on, lovebirds, ready to go?” He asked.
We nodded in response and followed him out of the room to the car. I thought about being home again, a comforting thought. I glanced sideways at Aiden, who was playing with him thumbs, starring down out the window into the complete darkness that was an eight o’ clock evening, I guess thinking. Living with him was like something out of an online romance written by a young girl. A gay romance, of course, but you get the point! It was awesome. I loved waking up in the morning to him. I loved knowing he was ok. I loved knowing he was away from his dad. I loved knowing he was safe.
“We’re here,” Tom told us.
Aiden and I got out and walked around the back of our house, using the key under the mat to get in. I saw Aiden bite his lip as a painful expression crossed his eyes, which were starring at the bathroom door.
~ Aiden’s Point Of View ~
“We’re here,” Tom called from the front of the car, pulling the keys out of the ignition.
Unbuckling my seatbelt, I pushed the door open and walked around the other side of the car to where Ronan was just getting out. We walked up the driveway, passing his mother’s silver CRV on the way, letting us know she was home. We went around the back again, letting ourselves in with the key under the mat, arriving right in Ronan’s room.
The first thing my eyes managed to land on was the most painful. I had to clamp my teeth down hard on my lip to keep tears from falling everywhere. I could feel my mind starting to go numb with memories and pain.
Ronan’s hand set itself down on my unusually cold arm, “Aidie?”
I snapped myself out, redrafting my face into a smile, “Ya, Ronan?”
He looked at my face, shook his head like he thought he had imagined the whole thing, and walked over to the bed, cannon-balling it like it was a huge pool. I slowly followed behind him, placing myself gently down on the edge of the bed. He hugged a pillow to his chest, bringing his knees up a bit, and allowed his eyes to rest on me for along time.
I yawned and leaned down next to him. In all the time we had been in the hospital, I had not gotten one decent nights sleep; every time I fell asleep, in under an hour, a nightmare would wake me up and send me to stay by Ronan’s side the rest of the night. Of course, busy worrying, I had not spent much time considering that I was tired, or even enough time to realize I was, so sitting down on this soft bed instead of the hard, uncomfortable ones at the hospital had me close to passing out.
I stood up slowly and pulled my hot shirt, which was skin tight on my body, though I was not hot, off before literally falling back onto the bed. Ronan stood up and took his shirt off, too. I could see the clip holding the bandages on his arms up glinting off the light being emitted from the desk lamp next to the bed, which he was currently turning off. His foot steps were soft and almost inaudible as he made his way back to the bed, the sheets wrinkling beneath me as he lay down.
I heard Ronan’s voice near me, his hot breath tingling my ear, saying something I was to tired to recognize. The fan made a small creaking noise with each revolution around the small circle it always had and always will travel in. I shivered under its breeze from my place beneath the light blanket placed on his bed. I smiled a small smile, though it was all I could muster, when his arm wrapped itself around me.
His lips tapped the back of my neck lightly as my eyes sealed themselves closed for the night, my consciousness lingering somewhere in the back of my head. I could hear his breath, even and sweet, behind me, mine growing into a slow and steady rhythm.
~ *** ~
I got up from my place on the bed, cracking my knuckles, and started to make my way across the room. My feet slide instead of stepped in a mix of exhaustion and one of the worst hangovers I had ever had over the carpet, creating a static charge. My hand reached out, receiving a shock from the bathroom knob, a reaction to the static charge, before opening it. The door felt heavier than usual as I pushed it open, receiving a tired squeak from the hinges.
I saw some cloth under the door, making me realize that there was a towel or something shoved back there. I gave it a last, hard shove and smiled as it swung open. I starred down at the floor in confusion. Red? The tiles were red. That was new!
Turning around, I checked behind the door to see what was there. I froze, my already pounding head couldn’t take in the picture before me. The last bits of alcohol burned in the back of my throat as I struggled to remember anything like this, any noise in the night…? But no. I couldn’t remember a thing but having a drink or two, I mean, I wasn’t even drunk; I didn’t know where this hangover had come from.
Ronan was on the ground, razor hanging out of his drooping, bloody hand, unconscious. Gasping, I quickly brought myself down to Ronan. I could hear his shallow breath heaving with effort while his heart desperately tried to keep blood flowing through itself, though most of that blood was still coming out of his wrist. I grabbed a towel hanging up on the shower ledge, ready for the next person who needed it, and pressed it over his wrist to stop the bleeding.
‘Deep breaths,’ I told myself.
If I didn’t take care of Ronan, who would? I needed to stay calm, to breath, to use my amazing (not) common sense skills to get Ronan out of here.
First step: stop bleeding.
I applied gentle pressure against his wrist, tears rolling down my face. His black hair was pasted to his head with blood and sweat, his eyes closed, his skin vampire pale, and his delicate frame looking small and broken.
Second step: GET TO FUCKIN HOSPITAL!
I took another deep breath, trying to stop the tears enough that I could be understandable. In my mind, I was hyperventilating as I picked up the phone and quickly dialed three numbers.
Nine. My finger shook and hit the eight, forcing me to set down the phone, then pick it up and start dialing again a second later.
Nine. Deep breath.
One. Deep breath.
One. Deep breath.
A woman with a warm voice picked up and said, “nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”
Deep breath.
“My boyfriend is passed out on the floor from blood loss,” my voice cracked as I told her the reason.
“Okay, I want you to stop the blood with a towel or shirt or some other clean cloth. Now where do you live?”
I quickly explained that I already had, then told her Ronan’s address before slamming the phone down in the base to return to Ronan. I pulled him up, cradling his broken form in my lap, shaking under him. Much as I would like to, I decide it’s a bad idea to pick him up as I am so unsteady that I barely think I can walk, let along carry someone.
It doesn’t take long for them to arrive in an ambulance, pull Ronan onto the stretcher and get him to the back.
“Honey,” a kindly voiced paramedic told me as I stumbled mindlessly after him, “you can’t come.”
I clung to the nearest wall I could reach, registering everything in my mind. As the paramedic jumped in the back, the ambulance pulling off, I plunged my hand into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. Quickly, I scrolled down my contact list and selected Tom.
“Hey hey hey! What’s up, Aiden?”
“R-Ro-Ronan!” I gasped. “He-he’s in the hospital!”
“What? Huh? Which one? Are you there? Do you need a ride?”
I gave him directions to the hospital then thanked him for the ride before snapping my phone shut. It didn’t take long for him to pull up, going way above the speed limit; Alice hopped out of the front seat, pushing me into the back of the car.
“Explain.” She said as Tom took off again.
“H-h-he c-cut himself.”
Everyone was silent until was reached the hospital. I made my way past the receptionist, who didn’t say anything. Alice had enough sense to grip my shoulder, stopping me from walking away in a random search of the three floor hospital for one room.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for a Ronan,” she said politely.
She gave us the room number, giving her computer screen only one quick glance. I guess they don’t get many Ronan’s in here. Alice thanked the woman and, taking my shoulders once more, led me, solitary mind and all, towards Ronan’s room.
The sight of Ronan, no, even just the memory of the sight of Ronan like that, was enough to jolt me awake with a scream. The late morning light, streaming in through the window shinned in my eyes, making me blink furiously. I figured I must have been sleeping for a while, not only because of the light, but also because my dream was so freaking long…and terrible. I shuddered; I hated thinking about that, dreaming of when I first saw Ronan fucked up like that.
I rolled over to see Ronan reading Death Note: Another Note Los Angeles BB Murder Cases, the new Death Note, which was a Japanese anime, for those who don’t know, and also one of our favorites. Yes, we both loved anime.
“Hey,” he smiled, looking up at me when he felt the shift in the bed, “morning.”
“Morning,” I yawned mid-word, earning a laugh, “how are you feeling?”
“Fine,” he sighed pointedly.
I knew how much he hated that question, as weird as it seemed, especially now.
“Want some breakfast?” I tried to distract him from the sucky question.
“Sure,” he stretched his arms up above his head, his tiny chest rippling.
I stood up beside him, pressing my bare chest against his, wrapping my arms around his back. He laid a gentle kiss on my lips, reminding me how close I had come to losing him. I grabbed his soft skinned hand and lead him up the stairs into the kitchen, opening the cabinets for some peanut butter crackers. Sitting down next to him at the table, I opened up a cracker and bit into it. He grabbed one and pulled it apart, licking the peanut butter off the cracker. I never thought I’d want to be a cracker.
~ Ronan’s Point Of View ~
Aiden took a bite out of the cracker and stretched his arms out behind his head.
“I’m gunna to shower,” he told me, standing up.
I nodded, grabbing another cracker and not watching his hips swing as he stood up and walked down the stairs.
“So,” my mom walked into the kitchen as he disappeared down the stairs, “you and Aiden seem pretty close…”
There was a sparkle in her eye as I starred back at her. “How did you…”
She laughed. “Mother’s have there ways, women’s intuition, whatever you want to say…but it was pretty obvious.”