I´m trying

We’ve been doing this for a long time, it never wasn’t a big deal, touching each others on stage. The kids love it, they screamed their heads out when they saw me licking his face or rubbing my head between his legs.

It was just an act, isn’t? Nothing more

But tonight, there was something else, something totally unexpected, he kissed me, Gerard fucking Way kissed me, on stage, in from of thousands of people!!!.
He caught me with my guard down; I was playing at the centre of the stage when he aproched me and kissed me, covering me with his arms, I don’t know why but I kissed him back and put my arms around his waist.

When we broke apart I don’t even realise what was just happened, just know that had to play the next song. The rest of the show I felt my head spinning, it was so weird, he is my friend, my bandmate, the smartest person I know, the most talented, the sweetest, the most beautiful…

Okay maybe He is more than a friend, but do I have a sexual attraction for him??? That’s not possible…..But that kiss, was fucking amazing!

Now, there is a little tiny detail, even if I like Gerard, we both had girlfriends, and I love Jamia, even trough the last few moths things hasn’t been going that great I still loved her….and Gee is with Lynd-Z, not my favourite person in the world, but it was his choice and I’ve always respect the choice he made.

The idea remained in my head for the rest of the night. Mikey and I went to sign some autographs and then reunite with the others in the bus.
Inside, Bob and Brian were playing Nintendo, Mikey go to call Alicia into his bunk, and Ray was in the back listen something from his laptop.
Gerard was sitting on the couch, there was something strange about him, He was reading a comic book, but his eyes where anywhere but in the pages. I went to the coffee maker where Ray was.

“Something is wrong with Gerard, he’s been in the Twilight Zone for about an hour” He says to me in a worried tone.
“Maybe he’s just thinking” trying to act like I didn’t care,
“Maybe I’ll talk to him later” I say scratching my head
“Well, I….oh shit!, there is no coffee left” I laugh, Mikey came up like a storm from his bunk.
“What!!!?” in a painful tone.
I laughed even harder, even Gerardwas smiling. Ray look at him and move his head.
“Ok, lets go, there is a Starbuck a few blocks from here”. Mikey’s face was bright at this word
“Yeah Coffee!”.
“Ok let’s go coffee junkie, are you guys coming?”
” I’ll go”, said Bob, Brian also stand up and go towards the bus door.
“I think I’ll stay” I said thinking that this would be an opportunity of have a conversation with Gerard.
“Gerard?” Asked Toro, he only shakes his head and keeps looking at his comic book.
They left.

After a couple of minutes I sat next to him. He remained still, I started to look at him, God he’s gorgeous, he still have some make up in his face and is all sweaty, but that make want him even more.
STOP IT!
I shake my head trying to pull away my thoughts. Finally I asked
“Hey man Are you ok? You seem a little distracted.” He looks at me with those hazel and deeps eyes.
“Just tired, that’s all” and gave me a little smile. I smile him back.
“I’m sorry about tonight” He suddenly said with a strange look.
“About what?” I trie to put an innocent face.
“You know the kiss” He is looking down know.
“Don’t worry about it, you just got me unprepared” There is an awkward silence, we never have these kind of situations, is so strange.
“They went wild isn’t?” I said trying to break the ice.
“Yeah” he finally said, now he’s looking at me with a mischievous look.
“So Frankie….how was it?” His smirk is even wider now. I’m and a little surprised by this attitude by decide to continue the game.
”I had better”, putting my arms behind my head and laying back. We both explode in a laughs.
“You’re a bad kisser, I don’t know how Lind-z stands you!” I laugh and feel a punch of a magazine in my face, was Gerard punching me with the comic book.
“Hey..auuu no! stop.” Now He’s on top of me, tickling me.
He catch my wrists and put them on the top of my head, I’m submitted by him and the fact that he’s bigger than me doesn’t help.
“Say I’m a good kisser”…..I giggle hysterical,
“Okay okay”
“Say it!”.
“You’re a good kisser”.
“That’s better, Frankie” I giggle again
“Ok let me go now” He release my hands but still on the top of me, I keep giggling,
“But You need more practice with your tongue!!!!” I though that he was going to tickling me again but instead, he looks at me in the eyes and said with a really sexy voice.
“So maybe I should improve my technique”
He has something in his eyes, something new, desire, lust, for me? Does Gerard want me??
“Maybe you should practice more”. I said without laugh, looking also at his eyes, but now he is looking at my lips.
Our faces inches apart, he smiled again and took off the hair from my face, my brain is screaming for me to pull him off, but I can’t I don’t want to. I wanted him on the top of me, I wanted his lips on top of my lips, I wanted to feel the dance of his tongue in side my mouth.

GOD I want him!

Finally he stand up, looking confused, like he didn’t know what the hell he was doing, he give me an embarrassing look, and star walking trough the door, I also got up my feet, I’m stood looking at him, he opens the door, and stay there looking outside, deciding what to do. I turn away going to my bunk with the desire of him to kiss me again in my head and body. T
hen I heard it, is the sound of a door closing, but then another unexpected sound, steps that come closer to me fast.
The next thing I know, I’m being push into the bus wall and Gerard have furiously pressed his lips against mines.