I´m trying

I couldn’t believe it. Alicia told me everything. Lind-Z was pregnant and Gerard decided to leave me for the child. He didn’t want to do it, but the circumstances made him. The kid would have a normal home.
“Coward.” I didn’t remember being this mad in my entire life.
“He tried to do the right thing” Alicia tried to calm me.
I was in shock.
That’s why he broke my heart on purpose. That’s why he treated me like shit.
“Frank, I’m sorry, but is not because he doesn’t love you, it's because he does”
“Do not excuse him. He is a fucking coward.” He made me feel like shit because he didn't have the courage to face the world. To stand to his own words!!!”
“He freaked out.” Mikey said.
“And did the easiest thing, leave the motherfucker, trick him, sleep with him one last time, and then treat him like shit. Yeah right. He definitely did the right thing!” I was furious with him. “I could kill Gerard right now”
Mikey and Alicia remained silent for the rest of the trip.
We arrived to the party. He was already there.
“Hi” He greeted me without any happiness in his voice, Lind-Z was holding his hand. She was wearing a long dress. That why she dressed like that lately, to hide her pregnancy.
“Fuck you.” I went to the bar.
Mikey went over to Gerard.
A few seconds later I heard a voice behind me.
“We have to talk.”
It was him.
“No we don’t.” I didn’t turn to face him. I took a glass and filled it with alcohol and drank it all. Then filled it again.
“Frank…”
“Stop the act. I know everything” I downed my drink again and went to a corner. He followed me. “Stop. I don’t want to see you, you’re an…” He didn’t let me finish.
“Yes, you're probably right, but let me explain something to you…” He tried to grab my arm, but I yanked it away.
“No, you had a lot of time to explain yourself.”
I walked away, towards Jamie.
“Is everything okay? Honey?” He said lovingly. I could feel Gerard's eyes fixed on us.
“Yes” I put my arm around his waist, and he kissed me on the head.
I became drunker and drunker as the hours passed, it was around 11:30 when Brain raised his glass.
“Guys. A toast.” He cleared his throat. "For My Chemical Romance, the most amazing band ever!!!”Everybody claped. “And it's members. It’s been a wonderful year guys!”
“JA!” I laughed in a very sarcastic way.
Everyone looked at me. Jamie punched me in the arm.
“Shut up” He whispered.
“Yeah….” I was drunk.
"For my chem." Brian finished his speech.
“For My Chem..” Everyone raised their glasses expect for me.
“And for the children of my chem..." Everyone looked at me again. “And for all the happy marriages...”
“Stop” Jamie said again. Lind-Z was red with fury and Gerard red from embarrassment.
“Oh, yeah sorry...”
“You’re drunk." Ray said.
Jamie took me to the bathroom.
I threw up.
“Are you better now?”
It was Gerard.
“Leave me alone” I said from the floor.
“Maybe you should go” Jamie told him, looking at him murderously.
“I need to talk to him” Gerard pleaded.
“Frank?” He asked me.
“It’s okay” I threw up again.
Jamie left the bathroom, I stood up slowly.
I tied to leave the bathroom, but he blocked the way to the door.
“Get out of my face.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Yeah and?”
“Frank, just hear me please.”
“No...” I tried to pushed him, but he grabbed me by the waist and shook me.
“Stop making the fool of yourself.!”
“And whose fault is that!”
“I…” He released me.
“YOU! You are a fucking coward. We could fight Gerard. Do you think I would care that you have a child?”
“You don’t understand. I have to be there for my child. It wouldn’t be normal.”
"Yeah! Normal ! Yeah, Daddy can’t sleep with guys, that’s why he pretends with girls!!!”
I push him hard and make my way to the living room. Jamie grabbed me by the arm.
I released myself from him. I didn’t notice that everyone was looking at me.
“I’m leaving. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Opps, wrong holiday. Anyway. So long and goodnight” I took Mikey's keys. “My horse.”
“Frank, you can’t drive like that man. Give me my keys” Mikey tried to take the keys back.
I didn’t want to listen. I just took my jacket and left the place.
“Frank!” It was Alicia.” Don’t do this”
It was too late. I was on the elevator.
I got to the first floor and went to Mikey’s car.