Snapshots of Reality

Things with Max were okay. I had punched him, and felt horrible about it, but we were still friends. Nothing could ever separate us. I did, however, tell him I would do some major damage if he ever went around Clover again. I didn't want him looking at her, thinking of her, and I defiantly didn't want them to be friends. I opened the screen door and hurried up to my room. I needed to see Clover. I had felt bad about earlier, and just wanted to hold her.

When I reached my room I looked around, in shock. It was somewhat messed up, not that it was ever clean, and I could tell Clover was no longer here. Her bag was gone, along with her things. My heart was racing as I grabbed the phone. I had just told Max to never come around Clover again, yet I was calling him to help me. I was desperate. I couldn't lose her. Why was she even leaving? My note had made it clear that I had loved her and I wasn't that mad. The note was gone and I assumed she took it with her.

"What now?" Max sounded worried. "I swear I haven't done anything."

"Max hurry over." I was talking so fast that my words slurred together. "Clover. She's gone. You've got to help me find her. I mean I can't lose her now. She knows I care and she took off. Did you say something?" I wasn't making any sense and I knew it. I just hoped Max would understand and come over.

I hung the phone up without saying bye. I was already putting on different clothes, and trying to reach Brad. Maybe Clover had gone to visit him. Felt that she was a burden to me and was going to stay there. I wasn't so lucky though. Brad said he hadn't heard from her but he would leave the house right now and help me search. I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I couldn't lose the only girl I cared about. Things in my life were just getting good, and there was noway in hell I would let things go bad. The door bell rang, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Max." I walked outside with him. "I'll go to her dads and the airport. You go to Rider's."

Max nodded, he seemed pleased with the whole thing. I couldn't help but feel disappointed in him. Made me realize we were both horrible to each other. I shook it off and hurried to her dads house. It began to rain but I kept going. I was soaked by the time I made it to the house. Her father answered. He looked happy to see me, but then he noticed I wasn't with Clover.

"Hello." He tried to smile again.

"Is Clover here?" That was all I could ask. I didn't want to exchange greetings, I didn't even want to chat. I just wanted to find Clover right now. "Please, I don't have time. Just please, tell me, is Clover here?"

"No." He shook his head. "Why? What did you do? Is she okay?"

"Nothing." I turned. "Thanks."

I was running back to my house. I would need my car for this trip. I ran down the streets in the rain. My house was far, but I didn't care. I had never felt like this before. Like a piece of me was missing and I didn't like it. I wasn't even thinking about drugs. I would quit it all if Clover would just come back. I finally turned the corner for my road and the rain let up. People were outside on their porch laughing. I hated them. Why should they get to be so happy? Not have to face all the problems I did?

My car. I saw it and I suddenly felt better. It was going to help me get to Clover and bring her home. I jumped in it, grabbing the keys from under the seat. I put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car made a noise and the key went back. I let out a groan. This was not a time for my car to give out on me. I needed it. I needed Clover.

"Fucking piece of shit!" I yelled as I got out of the car and kicked it. "Stupid bitch!" I was yelling profanities like they were going out of style. Practically throwing a bitch fit. Children where outside splashing in puddles and their mothers glared at me. I yelled at them, not able to control my anger. "What the fuck are you looking at? Never seen someone angry?" They grabbed their children and hurried in the house.

I sat on the ground. I was beyond frustrated. I felt like a girl whose boyfriend just ended a long term relationship. I laughed at myself and muttered. "Drama Queen." My throat was tight and I knew what was happening, but there was noway in hell I was going to cry. I never cried, ever, and I wasn't about to start. I got up and went back into the house. I couldn't go into my room since it reminded me of Clover. Instead I called Brad. He was the man I needed to see at the moment. Max was to busy fucking Rider. He hadn't came back, so I knew that's what was going on.

"What do you want?" Brad asked before I hung up.

"Everything you got." I laughed, my voice shaky. "Just make me stop feeling like a puss."

"Can do." Brad laughed before hanging up.

I had to stop looking for Clover, I thought. She will be back before the sun rises. She loves you and would never leave. Not without giving you a reason. I was saying these things to make myself feel better. I honestly had no clue if she would be back in the morning. That was all I could think about while I waited for Brad.