Snapshots of Reality

“Flight 309 Las Vegas to Los Angeles is now boarding.” I swallowed my fear and desire to run back and placed Ronnie’s note into my pocket and grabbed my bags. It was ridiculous how scared I was. I mean it was not even a thousand miles away and yet I was so scared. I walked toward the gates and handed my ticket to the lady who glanced it over and smiled at me with sympathy. “You know running won’t stop the pain.” I looked at her, was it that evident that I was running? I mumbled a thank you and shuffled my way into the plane and took my seat. I plugged my headphones into my Ipod and tried desperately to wash away the thoughts of the boys I was leaving behind.

Like the change in the pain it goes on for so long…

When you sit at home for six months you tend to lose a little bit of yourself. I know I certainly did. I went down a destructive path that I have not exactly stooped traveling yet. I sold almost everything I had for drugs before I started to work as a photographer for Epitaph records. I had been on a few tours, and they were all unique, but none of them were like Escape The Fate shows. Yes, I had been to a few of those as well, I would stand as far back as I possibly could so I knew that nobody would see my face. Not that they would recognize me outside of the piercings, clothes, and the looks. My hair was now a stunning baby blue with black and white tones. Okay so they would probably recognize me. Not that it would matter, Oli wouldn’t allow them to hurt me like they had before. He was living with me now before the big U.S tour in a few days.

I sat at my desk and twirled in my chair, I was bored out of my mind. Oliver’s plane left the next morning and I was finding myself wondering who they were going to be touring with this time, it was all a big secret. “Hey Clover, guess what?” Brett shot at me from across the room. Not Brett as in the label owner, but Brett as in head photographer. “Yes?” I replied half assed. “You get to tour with your lover boy. My wife is having her baby tomorrow so I can’t go.” I smiled and packed up and rushed back to my place. It was relatively small but it did okay for only two people. “I get to go!” I squealed before throwing my stuff together and laying down. It seemed like I had only closed my eyes before Oliver was shaking me awake. "Good morning love. You need to get up and get ready, it is almost time to go. The plane leaves in a minute." I sat up and grabbed an outfit as quickly as I could and messed with my hair a little bit and grabbed my bags. "I am ready." He laughed and grabbed his own bags and made his way towards the airport.

When the sun comes up we fight

The tour was kicking off in Vegas I learned as we sat on the plane. I gulped and prayed that Escape the Fate was on tour on the other side of the country. The last thing I needed was a repeat of what happened. They didn't even look for me. They just let me go like I was nothing. I cried for months when they made it big, especially when they signed to Epitaph. They didn't even care. He didn't love me, it was all a lie.I wiped away a tear and closed my eyes. I meant nothing to them and that was the end of it, I doubted he even noticed that I left. I wanted him to come after me so badly, I just wanted him to love me like I loved him. "You alright love?" Oliver asked his thick english accent flooding into my thoughts. "Yeah fine." I lied. He nodded and looked away. Ronnie would have known I was lying. I was constantly comparing and it hurt to know that I could never love Oli like I loved Ronnie. I sucked in a breath when my cell phone went off in my pocket. Escape The Fate 'The Guillotine' blared causing alot of people to look at me. "Hello?" I mumbled. "Hey Clover, this is your mom." I smiled. I had called my step mom my mother since I moved and I was considered her daughter. She and my father had married after I left. I attended the wedding and much to my dismay so did Rider, with her eyebrows. "How are you? When do you land? Do you know who the special guest is yet?" She fired questions at me. "Calm down, I am fine, we land in like five minutes, and no I still have no clue." "Well, I think I do because they are waiting for you at the airport." "Yeah? I guess I will find out then huh?" "Excuse me passengers, this is your captain speaking, we will be beginning our descent now, we ask that you return to your seats and buckle up." "Hey I got to go, see you in a few." I hung up my phone and collapsed until the plane landed on the ground.

They seek destruction and kill the functions

I walked down the small platform and into the airport.
I took in a breath and scanned the crowd for familiar faces, and finally I settled on my step mothers face and my dads. "Hey!" My mom called out and I rushed forward to hug her. "So who is the opening band?" "Well you go and see them from time to time and they are pretty big, they are over by the Starbucks if you want to go and see them." I nodded and walked away leaving my dad to talk to Oliver alone. I stepped into the brightly lit Starbucks and stood at the counter. "I want a french vanilla cappuccino with foam please?" The lady nodded and I waited to get my coffee before shoving a ten into her hand and muttering for her to keep the change. "Clover?" "Yes?" The voice sounded incredibly familiar. "Guys, its Clover! I told you!" "No way dude, she left like eight months ago." I knew that voice. I seized up and turned around slowly. There stood Monte and Ronnie, and walking up behind him was the rest of the guys. "Oh hell no. Oliver, I am not going tell my boss I quit, I am going home!" I hollered brushing past Ronnie who grabbed my arm. "Clover-" "Save it and let go of my arm Radke. I am fully prepared to gnaw it off." I pulled myself out of his grasp and pushed my way to the ticket counter. There was no way in hell I was going to stay here. Especially with him. I stalked back to Ronnie and Max and letting a tear escape I muttered. "You didn't even look for me..."