Snapshots of Reality

I sat in the small cafe with Nicky, both of our faces were flushed and we were wet from the snow, but we were fully content. It was funny, the one person I never thought I would like was slowly presenting herself to be my best friend. "So what do you think about Beth?" Nicky asked suddenly. "Monte's girlfriend? She is cool, I mean I have never really talked to her but she seems cool enough, keeps Monte entertained." "what about thre others Shauna, Rhi, and Jennifer?" I thought about it, the more questions asked the more I realized that I hhad become so consumed that I was not really making any friends, or doing my job for that matter. "I think they are all prett cool, I mean I havent talked to anyone really I have been pretty caught up you know." She smiled and I looked up as some people walked up to me. "Are you guys Clover and Nicky, Ronnie and Olivers girlfriends?" We nodded and they high fived one another. "Can we like get a picture with you?" "I guess, I dont know why you would want one but hey whatever." Nicky and I stood up and they took their picture and then rushed to the door. "Ah, they have arrived." I laughed and we went to the front and grabbed Ronnie. "I need him you guys will have to wait and if any of you think of following us I will cut your hands off." He laughed and one of them hollered, "I am blogging that. I am posting that on myspace!" I laughed and pulled him to the booth. All of the girls where with him, we were defenitely a colorful group I noticed. With my baby blue hair, Nicky's purple hair, and Jennifers pink hair, we stuck out hardcore.

We sat there for almost two hours brainstroming and all we managed to come up with is that I wanted Ronnie to myself, Oliver was supposedly using me, Rider needed to get everything with her life straight, and Shauna was head over heels with Curtis, oh and we were all addicted to something. Oh, and not to mention why we were addicted. I watched Ronnie cringe as I admitted I only started using them to be with him, and that I had never regretted it, ever. What had started out as a plotting session turned into a therapy session rather quickly. I had alot of fun I had to admit though as I placed the twenty dollar tip n the table and walked out with Nicky and Ronnie into the cold air again. "well that was fun." I nodded and looked over to where the rest of the girls and Rider where. "So you and Rider are friends now?" I looked at Ronnie and he nodded. "She changed alot Clover. She is not like the old her anymore. Max just doesnt know what he has." I smiled and nodded. "He is so willing to throw it away for me." I whispered. "You are like a drug to him Clover, he could do without you for awhile but the second your around he wants you." "And what about you?" He looked at me. "My love for you is much much more than an addiction. It is needed for me to keep breathing." I smiled and playfully hit his arm. "So cheesy." "You know you love me!" I smiled and he pulled me into a dark alley way and kissed me. "Um, I needed that." He smiled and kissed me again. "Marry me Clover? When this is all over and this stupid bullshit is done with marry me?" I nodded and he picked me up and twirled me around. This is what I wanted, I wanted to get out of this terrible mess with oliver, and tell him that I did not love him, and I wanted to be with Ronnie forever. Yet, somewhere deep inside of me, I knew it would never happen ,and I did love Oliver, maybe not as much as Ronnie, about as much as I was head over heels for Max. Ahh these webs I weave for myself, all they do is lead me down the path to destruction. What did I ever do to deserve this? And I found another question in the back of my head. Do I stay and watch this fall apart and get hurt, or dod I run again? I sighed and wrapped my arms around Ronnie, I would talk to Nicky about all of this later. Yet, I think I already knew my answer.