Snapshots of Reality

I should have known this was not going to be that easy, I shuld have know. Should have planned more....Shouldn't have done it at all. Too late, descisions made. I sat there in the airport with Nicky, our flights had been delayed at least two days because of the storm. "Maybe this is a sign." Nicky mumbled from beside me. I ignored her, she had been second guessing everything from the moment that she stepped into the cab, I could not understand what was going on in her head. She had no real relationship there, I mean she longed for someone, but still. Ronnie still had not come looking for me and I had to admit that I was worried, I mean last time he thought I had slept with Max he almost died....

The Sounds Of The Past Haunt My Dreams...

The sounds of a cell phone ringing had woken me up and I had answered it as groggily as I possibly could. "Hello?" "Clover? Oh my god it's Brad, I cannot wake Ronnie up, I think he is dying, man he had to much." "Too much what Brad?" "He did some lines and some heroine, but I am not sure what else. Just please Clover come and help!" As soon as he hung up I was already out the door, I had not even bothered to get dressed. I was still in my bra and underwear. "Clover!" Max had called before throwing me an oversized tee shirt to put on. I had thrown it on and got into my car. I hardly ever drove, the streets were crazy in Vegas, but I speed through the streets going no slower than 120 and came to an abrupt stop outside of Brads house. Max was cussing beside me, he was scared, he had shooken the whole way here and covered his eyes everytime he saw another car. I did not care, he was not my concern. I through open Brads door and looked around, there was Ronnie passed out on the floor, barely breathing. I began to cry and freak out as I knelt down next to him. "Dont you dare die Ronnie! Dammit I am not done with you yet. Breath dammit!" I yelled at him. He made a choking sound suddenly and then quit breathing all together. Brad was over in the corner freaking out, he was high on something, I did not really care what. "Max, call an ambulance. Brad, go drink some damn coffee and try to sober up. If anyone asks Ronnie came here like this and we did not know what happened. Understood?" They all nodded and did what I told them to. I looked down at Ronnie and instictively began my rounds of CPR. When the ambulance arrived they took him and when I tried to climb in with him they told me no, that it was against regulations. I had never been so scared in my life. I followed them the whole way to the hospital, my foot never once touching the brake until they stopped suddenly and the lights went off. I thought he was dead until a moment later they flashed back on. And sitting in that waiting room was torture. The doctor had come out and announced he would be fine, he would probably be a little fuzzy for awhile, but he was going to be fine. And then it broke my heart when he was angry at me. It was all my fault....

And The Truth Will Set You Free....Eventually.

We made a mistake. I could not see that happen again. Nothing was worth it. Not Oliver, not this stupid tour, my job, my life. I could never see Ronnie die because of me. "Lets go Nicky, we made a mistake." We stood up and a girl stepped in our way. "Your Clover and Nicky! Ronnie just posted a bulletin from the hospital looking for you, he even posted his cell phone number to call him." "From the hospital?" She nodded and I sat down the tears flooding openly through my defenses. I had done it again, fucked up big time... "Call him tell him I am on my way and he has to hang on. Tell him Oliver and I are done and I want to marry him, I want him to live more than anything in the world! Please just do that!" She nodded and Nicky and I ran outside and hailed a taxi down, it just happened to be empty and we threw our stuff in the trunk. "I need to get to the hospital and step on it please!" I smiled as he stepped on the accelerator and we were off, I just hoped I was not to late.