Snapshots of Reality

I felt terrible for Ronnie. He was working so hard, he just wanted to live.
I got a coffee cup off of the counter and poured myself some water. I was in so much pain and it seemed like no matter how many asprins I took it would not live. I was hurting all over the place and almost everything would make me mad. And then out of nowhere I was depressed, but I guess that came with the territory. All I wanted to do was run to my dealer and get some coke, but I had to stand my ground, I just had too, for Ronnie's sake. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Riders number. We hardly spoke now that Max was avoiding ronnie and me. "Hello?" Her voice seemed tired and weak, the preganacy was really wearing her down. "Hey, its Clover." "Oh, how goes things?" "not good, Ronnie is sleeping but he will be up in a few minutes to throw up again. I dont think I can do this Rider, I want some so freaking bad. I am weak Rider." I began to cry and held my hands out in front of my, my muscles hurt so badly. "I am sorry Clover but you cannot give up." "What do you know! You have never been like this. You have it all. The guy, the kid, the money! Fuck you Rider!" I hung up and instantly regretted it.

I walked into the bathroom and threw up, this was torture. I had it worse than Ronnie, I was coming down harder for some reason. Fate never seemed to miss a beat when it came to handing me the bad card. I felt my hair being lifted up and away from the toilet and I smiled. Ronnie was always there. I stood up and wiped my mouth off and looked at him. He smiled weakly at me and pointed toward the door. I stepped forward and Ronnie began to cough rather hard, I was begining to think I should take him and myself to a hospital. Nicky sttod there and Oli stood silently behind her. It was always akward, Nicky and Ronnie, and then Oli and me, just made for alot of silence. "What are you doing here?" "Moral support, you two cannot do this alone." "We dont need your fucking help." I snapped at her. She smiled and looked at Oli he seemed mad. "It is just the withdrawal symptoms." Oliver nodded and she walked in and shut the door. "Okay so Oli, you take the food into the pantry, Ronnie go lay down, and Clover, well you stand there and look pissed off if you want."

I stood there and watched as Nicky and Oliver cleaned our house and cooked us some food. I sat across from Nicky when it was all done and looked at her. "Please, just bring me a little bit, not alot, I promise, it will be my last little bit. I promise." I pleaded my case but she just looked at me. "Nope, you have to beat this Nicky." I nodded and excused myself making an excuse to take a walk. "Oliver go with her!" She hollered at him. He nodded and we took off the cold air wrapping itself around me. "I know this is hard Clover." "You have no idea oliver, I just want to do it one last time, and that is it." He nodded and reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag of coke. "One last time and that is it, promise me?" I nodded and lurched at it, and waited for the effects to take over. What I did not know is that 'one more time' would be much more than that....