Snapshots of Reality

Clover had gone on a walk with Oli. It didn't bother me like it would have say two weeks ago. Now that I knew she was mine, I had nothing to worry about. Nicky was trying to make me eat, but I refused. I couldn't even stand to look at food. I guess puking your guts up would tend to do that. I curled up on the bed trying to go back to sleep. It had been so helpful, but I wasn't tired.

I sighed and got up off the bed. When I reached the living room Oli and Clover were back. Nicky was going off about something and I had a feeling what is was after I got one good look at Clover. She looked happy. Like all the symptoms she had just went away without any reason. Wrong. She was high. I could see it in her beautiful eyes and Oli hung his head. That bastard gave them to her. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the feeling in my head. Clover laughed and sat on the couch.

"Get out." I said to Nicky and Oli.

Nicky stopped cussing Oli and looked at me. She looked hurt at first but she eventually nodded and pulled Oliver out of the apartment. I knew she had nothing to do with this. That's why she was going off. I sat next to Clover on our small love seat and stared at the floor. I wanted to go off. I wanted to explain how stupid she is being. A fucking hypocrit. I could feel her eyes on me as if reality was finally sinking in.

"Oh Ronnie." She lay her head in my lap. "I'm sorry you feel like shit."

"What the fuck ever." I mumbled and pushed her off me.

She sat up and cocked her head to the side. Like I had no right to push her away from me. I couldn't do another drug without the possibility of dying, yet she was going to do them right there. Let me see how good she was feeling while I suffered. I should have listened to Brad. He was right along. Clover would be the death of me. I blinked my eyes and realized they were watery. I was crying?

"What's wrong?" Clover asked snuggling next to me.

"Clover, right now I can't stand the sigh of you. So please just get away before I say something I may or may not regret."

"What?" She yelled. "I'm so sick of listening to you whine Ronnie! You're such a baby."

I laughed. "What? I'm giving up drugs. Something I have been doing since I was Twelve and you, you just started a year ago. This will be a hell of a lot harder for me. So excuse me for trying to quit, because if I don't. Oh yeah, I may die."

"Oh boo oho." She rolled her eyes. I knew it was probably the drugs talking but I didn't care. I had enough.

"Brad was right." I stood up. "You are going to be the reason I die."

She stopped right there. Her eyes began to water and I could tell I that was a low blow, but she deserved every word. I was suffering and she was out getting high with her ex. I looked down at the polished wood and listened to her sob. When I looked back up at her she was angry. She looked as if she could come after me with a kitchen knife at any moment. I sighed and turned around.

"I hate you Ronnie Radke. She yelled after me.

"Yeah, Well don't worry princess because I can't even tolerate you anymore. So grab a pillow and a blanket from the closet, because your ass is on the couch tonight."

"What?" She yelled.

"Apartment is in my name. So every single room belongs to me, including the bed."

She looked like I had just taken a knife to her heart, but she had done that to me too many times before. To be quite honest I was actually feeling hate towards her myself. I made a not to myself to tell Brad he was right. Clover was finally showing her true colors and I didn't like them, not one bit. I slammed the door to the bedroom and crawled into bed, praying I would make it through this in one piece.