The Other Baker Boy

I let the cold air hit my face. I sat down beside Matt and held on to his arm for warmth. It wasn't that it was cold outside, it was just super windy. I watched the smoke from his cigarette, surround his mouth and nose. Matt was such a sweetheart and didn't deserve all this bullshit that people gave him. I didn't talk to him first because I knew he needed time to develop his thoughts into words. After a couple of minutes of sitting in the wind, he finally spoke.

"I'm getting really sick of this, Lacy." He said as he flicked his cigarette on the ground. "I hate being his brother, I hate having Baker as a last name, and I hate not having anything." He shouted in frustration.

"Shh, just calm down and keep talking." I said trying to sooth the moment.

"I have nothing because everything has always been my brother, people have always held him up on this 10 foot high petistool. I have no one." He said. I noticed his voice seem to calm down but it was weighed down by sadness.

"You have a family, you have friends, you have me. You know I love you, Matt."

"Love? No, you love Zacky, okay? That's love, when you can look at someone and tell them you love them more then anything or anybody. It's love when you still love somebody no matter how normal or average they are. So don't tell me you love me." He lectured.

"But Matty, I do love you. You're my best friend."

"Exactly. I'm your friend..."

He walked back into the studio building, and I didn't dare to go after him. Being in Zacky's shadow has always bothered him but never this much. I was worried about him because I saw so much anger when I had just spoken to him. He's such a great person with many talents but people can't seem to get over the fact that he is Zacky's little brother. I guess I'd be angry to if I was being compared to my cousin but Brian would stick up for me, I know he would. He wouldn't allow people to pick on me because I was his infamous cousin who dates Zacky vengeance. I wish Zacky would stand up for Matt more.

***Matt's P.O.V.***
I hated being this anger and overshadowed all the damn time. Hate, hate, hate! That's all I've been able to think about, or process. I'm pretty sure I just pissed off the one person I trusted the most. My damn mouth just had to say that shit in front of Lacy! Well at least I can trust Brian to.

I decided that it was time for me to go home and I didn't want to ask Lacy to take me back home , because she's probably a little mad at me or something, so I went to go ask Brian for a ride. He was working on some guitar stuff with my brother. I didn't want to be anywhere near my brother so I walked over to a chair to get my hoodie and want to go back outside.

"Where you going, dude?" Brian asked as he stopped playing his guitar for a minute.

"Home!" I said sternly.

I noticed Zack, let out one of his annoying barbaric chuckles and set his guitar aside.

"What the fuck you laughing at, dude?" I shouted at him.

"Whoa! Now aren't you daytime's fucking flashlight! I was laughing at the way you were talking." He said, continuing his laughter.

I held back my temper and turned the other way. I was not about to let him think he was getting to me even more then what he had already. I walked outside and saw Lacy sitting on the ground ,where I had left her, smoking. She never smoked unless she was worried or anxious about something. I walked over to her and she was completely concentrating on something. I called her name and she shrugged a little.

"What?" I don't think she meant to say that harshly but it came out that way.

"Can you take me home?"

She stood up, grabbed her keys out of her back pocket, and walked towards her car with the cigarette still intact between her lips. I knew she was worried about me. The fact that she smoked over 4 cigarettes on the car ride to my house told me that. She cared about me but not in the way that I wanted her to. I wanted her to care about me like she cared about my brother.

She pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex and put the car in park. Her cheeks sucked in only to take one last puff from her fading cigarette.

"Are you pissed at me?"

"No." She replyed sullenly.

"Then why are you smoking?" I asked.

"Because there was a pack of cigarettes in my back pocket." Her answers were very stale and missing their normal personality. "I need to get back to the studio so Zack and I can go out to lunch."

I made a grimace when she mentioned his name and she noticed the face distortion.

"Why do you all of a sudden do that when I mention Zacky?" She asked as calmly as her nerves would allow.

"Why do you fucking care, Lacy?" I unintentionally shouted.

At this point, my mind wanted to speak without actually processing the words it was desperately wanting to scream. I've never shouted at her like that and it hurt her. She gave me the worst look that I have ever received in my 21 years of living. I knew she cared about me and I wanted her to but every time I said something it came off like I was just telling her to fuck off. She gripped the steering wheel and looked off ahead. It was apparent that she had no words for me.

"Listen, Lacy I'm sorry..."

"I need to go." She said in a way to let me know to get out of her car.

I nodded my head and got out. She backed out of the lot and sped down the street. People have pushed me off so many times, that I was now starting to push back. I was starting to push people I cared about, away.