The Other Baker Boy

My heart felt weighed down. Zack was my world and his brother, my best friend. I expected more from Matt, I expected him not to cost me my relationship. I expected Zack to be able to look into my eyes, the night I told him I had forced myself on Matt, and know I was lying. It had only been two days, and I had no where to live but my car. Everything I owned was in that house.

I was bored and decided that if Zack was done with me forever then I needed my stuff. I clustered all of my courage together and put aside sorrow and nerve. My stomach sunk as I pulled into the driveway and walked up to the door. Since having lived there, I reached for the door knob to walk before realizing I did not live there anymore. But I corrected myself. I rung the doorbell repeatedly and finally the door opened just a crack. I saw a green puffy eye, that had seen heartbreak, peek through the crack of a chain-locked door. He had been crying, but so had I.

"Can I get my...uh. Get my stuff?" I said in a choked up whisper as I pointed towards the inside of the house.

He nodded and shut the door briefly to unlock it. I keep my focus on the floor because I couldn't bare to see what I had done to him. Because I tried to defend Matt, I ruined Zack. I did, however, notice that the, usually clean, house was very messy. He must have continued his party of throwing shit around. Zack, without a word, walked to the couch, like a zombie, and sat. He stared at the fireplace, unconcerned about Ichabod scratching at his leg.

I walked over and sat beside him. He held up a hand telling me not to talk to him. But I did not care.

"Zack, please let me talk." I said trying to hold back tears as he held his hand up again.

See, Zack had this whole weak spot about me crying. Whenever I would cry around him he would cry. He would feel bad whether the reason I was crying was him...or something else.

"ZACK! Please....You have to let me talk...You don't know anything that happened!"

"I. I think I know more than I would like to." He whispered.

I placed my hand under his chin.

"I love you more than anything. Please let me explain." I immediatly burst out in tears. I couldn't fight them anymore.

Zack noticed my sudden tear fall, and grabbed my hand from his chin and held it.

"I went outside because I was feeling uncomfortable around your family...because they hate me. And Matt walked out. He didn't seem right at all. To be honest, I think he's lost it a bit after always hearing that he's no good. Well, he said some stuff about making people hate him and about how he wondered how mad you would get. So I asked him what he was tlaking about...and he kissed me. The reason I told you I forced myself on him, was because I knew you would murder him. Matt deals with enough shit and I just didn't want you to make things worse for him."

Zack looked forward and shook his head up and down as he patted and rubbed my hand.

"How could you?" He said quietly.

"How coul--- Zack, I just told you what happened. I didn't want to kiss him. I don't love Matt, I loveyou and I will no matter how much you want me out of your life or how much you think I've hurt you."

"NO, how could YOU defend him when he was wrong, despite the consequences, when you knew your little lie would crush me. I don't care what your reasons were...You still put my feelings second. I want to marry you, Lacey. I want up to be together but you can't even fucking think of me enough as to tell me the goddamn truth." He spoke still, somewhat quiet and continue to hold onto my hand.

"Oh, Zack please forgive me. I wasn't thinking. You have no clue how much I love you. It will never ever happen again. I swear." By the end of that sentence I was sobbing like a child who had just gotten in big trouble.

Zack pulled me into his arms and rocked me back and forth. He kiss my forehead.

"I love you Lace. Don't do this to me again...Or I don't know if I'll take you back."

I looked back up at him and tried to stop my tears but still couldn't.

"I can't see myself with out though..." I said.

"Just don't do this to me again."

With that said, I promised him and myself that I would never jepordize his heart like that again. Why is it that you always hurt the ones you love the most?

**********
We fell asleep on that couch and held eachother. He kissed me on my forehead but wouldn't kiss my lips. At one point he leaned in towards my lips and then graced to the left and kissed my cheek. I guess I wasn't worthy of his kisses anymore.

"Lacey."

"Hey babe?"

"I'm calling my brother to come over." He said affirmitively.

A worried expression blossomed on my face. If Matt came over...more drama could as well.

Instead of argueing I nodded and rested my head back on his chest. Zack picked up his phone and sent Matt a text.

In several minutes, I knew there would be both Baker's going head to head. I had a feeling Matt would let Zack...and I know exactly how he felt.