She's Lying There With A Halo In Her Hair

I woke up to a massive bright light “Turn the light off Ella” I screamed “It hurts real bad!”
“Well maybe you know how Brendon feels!” she yelled back giving me a withering glare before storming out of our room.

Wait what about Brendon? Did he hit his head again?

I closed my eyes and flashes of the previous night flashed before my eyes.

Singing with Ella and Brendon, asthma, Johnny and the weird clear drink. Johnny and the private balcony, Johnny’s lips on mine fuck, how drunk was I?

Brendon, fighting, Ryan, Ryan’s lips, chest, his hands all over my body. My hands on his hair his lips on my neck, his hot, sweaty body on mine, him leaving.

I burst into tears, I ruined everything, I had hurt everyone I had ever cared about.

I decided on skipping my final breakfast in favour of packing up everything I owned before someone came up here. A quiet and unnoticed exit was how I was going to leave, not that anyone would care.

I started looking through all the photos in my camera, shamelessly crying as I saw all the happy moments.

Why does it have to end like this?”

I was going to leave a note for everyone but now that seemed pointless, they’d probably just burn it and celebrate my departure. I packed a few CDs which I had bought with Ryan away and zipped up my suitcase.

This was it, I was leaving Allure Boarding School. I had been dreading this day for weeks, but now that it was here it felt as if my insides had been torn out, run over a couple of hundred times and stuffed back into my body
I bought the yearbook, I didn’t dare look to see which awards I had won, that would be saved for the plane trip, four more hours and I would leave America.

I tucked it into my carryon bag and went into my room for the last time to pick up my suitcases.

I sat on my bed, crying hard, burying my head in my hands, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to start the year all over again, there’s so much I would’ve done differently, if only I had the chance again.

I stood up, a bright light shinning into my eyes as I cleaned up my make up in the mirror. I looked down to where the light was coming from, there they were; the necklaces.

I hadn’t taken them off since the day I received them from Ryan and Brendon. I considered giving them back to them, but then I realised that keeping them was a way that I could always keep the good times that I had at Allure close to my heart. I kissed each of the necklaces as if they were my final goodbyes to Brendon and Ryan and wrapped my hands around the suitcase handled.

It was time for me to go.

I carried my suitcases down the stairs, everyone was wishing me a happy 2 weeks, telling me that they’d see me next term. If only they knew.

I faced the inside of the massive 20ft high Allure doors, ‘this is it’ I thought to myself. For some reason I wasn’t crying, it was a weird feeling. I felt that I was leaving a part of me behind, it was an empty feeling, a blank feeling there was nothing running through my head, it was blank.

It walked towards the door and struggled to push them open, eventually I did, for the last time. I stepped outside and turned around, admiring the grand building which had been my home for most of this school year.

I saw my parent’s car in the car park and began to walk slowly towards it.

“Liz” The doors of Allure burst open, I turned to see Brendon’s thin figure running towards me.

Tell me something, tell me anything, tell me something to convince me to stay. Hold me in your arms, tell me you love me, tell me to stay, make me stay.

“Brendon” I answered quietly.

“Leaving already” he hissed, his voice full of venom.

“Brendon, let me explain” It was now or never.

“No, I don’t want to hear your fucking useless explanations” he yelled, frightening some of the students who were saying also saying their goodbyes.

“I fucking loved you” he cried “I loved you, and all you did was fucking play around with my fucking head for your own fucking sick and twisted enjoyment. You were a bitch to me for the whole year and then when I almost fucking die you decide to like me. Bullshit, it was more like a guilty conscience!”

“Brendon let me expl-”

“Shut the fuck up and let me fucking speak. You are nothing but a cold heartless slut who deserves to be alone for the rest of her sad and sorry life”

I refused to let any tears slip down my cheeks as I turned to leave “Bye Brendon.”

He didn’t even say good bye yet. I began to make my way down the busy Las Vegas Street towards my parent’s car.

“I fucking hate you Liz” Brendon’s voice yelled though the street “I fucking hate you.”

I looked back. He was on his knees and looked to be crying. I saw Ella and Spencer helping him up.

“I hate you” he yelled again.

I continued to walk towards my parent’s car, not daring to look back.

We had packed everything into the car and were leaving. Out of the corner of my eye I could still see Ella, Brendon and Spencer still watching me.

I got into the car and my parents pulled into the lane of the road, we moved at a slow pace through the traffic finally passing the spot where they were standing.

They were looking directly at me, even though the windows were tinted. It was then when I let myself cry.

I lifted the bow necklace to my lips, kissing it lightly.

“I love you Brendon Urie” I said as I took one last look at his hurt filled face “I fucking love you.”

The End.