Sequel: Memoirs of a Gay Guy : 1000 Things ›
Status: Complete.
Memoirs of a Gay Guy : Till September
Entry : 11
Mr. Munroe hopes that we can have the Coming Out party before the holiday break, and he said that we, being the planning committee, need to get it approved by the principal ASAP. So yesterday at lunch, Jeremy, Riley and I all went down to the office to talk with Mrs. Clark, our principal. Travis was cramming for a math test so he couldn't accompany us.
The receptionist in the office told us that Mrs. Clark wasn't there so we should probably try the guidance office. So we did, and when we walked in I saw Judy who smiled and said, "Hello William, Jeremy. What brings you here? Who's your friend?"
I was a little miffed that she was on a first name basis with Jeremy, but he recovered faster than I did. "This is Riley," Jeremy told her, "and we're here on behalf of the GSA to speak with Mrs. Clark. Is she here?"
"Yes she is. In fact she's just-" then Mrs. Clark walked out of a room and Judy called her over. "Oh Hazel come here, these boys need to have a word with you." As she was walking away she said, "I'll see you after school William," to me before leaving us alone with Mrs. Clark.
It seemed like I must have snapped into business mode when the three of us presented Mrs. Clark with our Coming Out party proposal. She though it was a great idea and said, "The sooner the better." She gave us a great date too, the last Friday before the break.
After she approved us and we were back in the hallway, I snapped out of business mode and turned to Jeremy and asked him, "How do you know Judy?"
He laughed and said that he was going to ask me the same thing. But since I'd beaten him to the punch, he answered me.
"I started seeing her in a bout April of 10th grade." Oh yeah, Jeremy's a year older than me. "I was just feeling really insecure and vulnerable after my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, broke up with me last march."
"Oh," was all I could say. I allowed myself a small smile because I didn't know that he was gay before that. It's kind of inspiring to know someone who's as comfortable with himself as Jeremy is.
"So how'd you come to be on a first name basis with her?" he asked me.
I was fully prepared to lie to him, just like I'd been lying about my meetings with Judy to everyone else since last year. I stopped though, before the lie came shooting out of my mouth, because I felt a feeble little vein of guilt for lying to him, or at least planning to, after he'd been honest with me.
I didn't have to answer him though because Fin was coming down the hallway towards us.
"Will," she called. She stopped walking when she reached us and greeted Riley as well. There were a few seconds of awkward silence in which Fin looked from me to Jeremy expectantly. It took a minute for me to get it, but I did eventually.
"Oh," I said, "sorry. Jeremy, this is my friend Fin and Fin, this is Jeremy. He's on the planning committee with us."
They shook hands and Jeremy said, "Ah, so he's told you about the Coming Out party?"
"Yes! And I'm really excited about it," she gushed. "You guys are all going right?"
"Well we kind of have to," Riley answered, "because we're part of GSA. But I'd go anyways. I never miss a school dance and this'll be my first one at this school."
"Oh yeah," Jeremy said, "you're a newbie." Riley blushed. "Don't worry man, the dances here are always awesome, and there's always someone to dance with because a lot of people like to go solo."
Riley smiled and the conversation was interrupted by the bell. We all exchanged parting salutations before heading in different directions to go to our lockers.
I was walking with Fin of course and as soon as the other two were out of earshot she said, "Jeremy is cuuute!"
"Yeah," I agreed, "he is. But he's a year older," I warned her. "And gay."
"Silly," she hit my arm, "I meant for you."
That's when it really hit me. I'd never thought too much about really dating or really having a boyfriend. What's worse is that I know I won't or can't even entertain those thoughts until I come out. To everyone.
And that scares the shit out of me.
The receptionist in the office told us that Mrs. Clark wasn't there so we should probably try the guidance office. So we did, and when we walked in I saw Judy who smiled and said, "Hello William, Jeremy. What brings you here? Who's your friend?"
I was a little miffed that she was on a first name basis with Jeremy, but he recovered faster than I did. "This is Riley," Jeremy told her, "and we're here on behalf of the GSA to speak with Mrs. Clark. Is she here?"
"Yes she is. In fact she's just-" then Mrs. Clark walked out of a room and Judy called her over. "Oh Hazel come here, these boys need to have a word with you." As she was walking away she said, "I'll see you after school William," to me before leaving us alone with Mrs. Clark.
It seemed like I must have snapped into business mode when the three of us presented Mrs. Clark with our Coming Out party proposal. She though it was a great idea and said, "The sooner the better." She gave us a great date too, the last Friday before the break.
After she approved us and we were back in the hallway, I snapped out of business mode and turned to Jeremy and asked him, "How do you know Judy?"
He laughed and said that he was going to ask me the same thing. But since I'd beaten him to the punch, he answered me.
"I started seeing her in a bout April of 10th grade." Oh yeah, Jeremy's a year older than me. "I was just feeling really insecure and vulnerable after my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, broke up with me last march."
"Oh," was all I could say. I allowed myself a small smile because I didn't know that he was gay before that. It's kind of inspiring to know someone who's as comfortable with himself as Jeremy is.
"So how'd you come to be on a first name basis with her?" he asked me.
I was fully prepared to lie to him, just like I'd been lying about my meetings with Judy to everyone else since last year. I stopped though, before the lie came shooting out of my mouth, because I felt a feeble little vein of guilt for lying to him, or at least planning to, after he'd been honest with me.
I didn't have to answer him though because Fin was coming down the hallway towards us.
"Will," she called. She stopped walking when she reached us and greeted Riley as well. There were a few seconds of awkward silence in which Fin looked from me to Jeremy expectantly. It took a minute for me to get it, but I did eventually.
"Oh," I said, "sorry. Jeremy, this is my friend Fin and Fin, this is Jeremy. He's on the planning committee with us."
They shook hands and Jeremy said, "Ah, so he's told you about the Coming Out party?"
"Yes! And I'm really excited about it," she gushed. "You guys are all going right?"
"Well we kind of have to," Riley answered, "because we're part of GSA. But I'd go anyways. I never miss a school dance and this'll be my first one at this school."
"Oh yeah," Jeremy said, "you're a newbie." Riley blushed. "Don't worry man, the dances here are always awesome, and there's always someone to dance with because a lot of people like to go solo."
Riley smiled and the conversation was interrupted by the bell. We all exchanged parting salutations before heading in different directions to go to our lockers.
I was walking with Fin of course and as soon as the other two were out of earshot she said, "Jeremy is cuuute!"
"Yeah," I agreed, "he is. But he's a year older," I warned her. "And gay."
"Silly," she hit my arm, "I meant for you."
That's when it really hit me. I'd never thought too much about really dating or really having a boyfriend. What's worse is that I know I won't or can't even entertain those thoughts until I come out. To everyone.
And that scares the shit out of me.
♠ ♠ ♠
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! ^_^