Sequel: Memoirs of a Gay Guy : 1000 Things ›
Status: Complete.
Memoirs of a Gay Guy : Till September
Entry : 16
The clock reads 12:09am which means that the most emotionally draining day of my entire life ended nine minutes ago. Though, having drained myself, I can't sleep because I can hear Jerry snoring down the hall.
Okay, where shall I start? How about last week when Fin tagged along to our progress meeting and told me to say...what I have to say, the next time Mr. Munroe asks if anyone has anything else to say.
The reason I start there is because we had another progress meeting sheduled today and I asked Fin to tag along again. Though, when she asked, I wouldn't tell her why I wanted her there.
So we sat through the progress meeting, same ol', same ol', until it was coming to a close and it was time for Mr. Munroe to utter the question, "Does anyone have anything else to say?"
I cleared my throat, raised my hand and said, "I do." I tried not to let my voice betray the nervousness that I felt. I looked at Fin, understanding suddenly apparent in her features. I stood up and rested my hands on the back of my chair.
"Well I," I started. "I just wanted to tell all of you." I paused. Fin reached up and took hold of my hand. I clung to her gratefully. "To tell all of you," I repeated. "That I'm gay."
For a minute I wasn't sure if I'd actually said it. I had kept my eyes trained on the floor when I had spoken but when I lifted my head the faces of the GSA showed no sign of having registered what I'd said. The room was still and silent. But I saw Jeremy, sitting across from me on the other sice of the circle of chairs, slowly rise from his seat and walk towards me. He walked around my chair, making me turn to face him and he stopped when there was about two feet between us.
All that time his face had been unreadable, but when he stopped, when he looked into my eyes, his face cracked into a grin and he, well, he hugged me. I hugged him back and, unable to verbally express the happiness that I felt, I laughed. We separated and he remained standing at my side when Mr. Munroe said, "Thank you for sharing that with all of us, Will. I'm glad you feel you can trust us, and I can personally assure you that you can." He gave me a proud smile. "Now, if that's everything, you're all dismissed."
As we all exited the class room and spilled into the hallway, a couple of the girls came over and gave me hugs and a couple of the straight guys came over and shook my hand. Riley was the last one out of the room and he smiled at me, tooke my hand and drew me into a sort of one armed hug, while our other arms remained sandwiched between us. It was sort of a half-hug, half-handshake and it left me very confused.
That was only school though.
I told Fin that she'd be eating dinner at my house and she didn't object. Actually she started crying and she hugged me and kissed my cheek.My Mom came home about two hours after we did and she was fine with Fin staying for dinner.
When dinner time came, I was seated at one end of the table, with Fin on my right. Tommy was on her right, my Mom was across from them and Jerry was at the other end, across from me. When everyone was about halfway done eating I said I had an announcement to make. I stood up and immediately reached for Fin's hand. I didn't realize at the time that taking Fin's hand may have led my family (or at the very least my mother) to believe that I was about to tell them Fin and I had started dating. That's ironic.
I adressed them all. "Family," I said. "I've given this a lot of thought, and I wouldn't tell you unless I was 100% sure. And I am. So I'll tell you. I...," I looked down at my plate and mumbled, "I'm gay."
Jerry said, "What's that, son? Speak up."
I lifted my head and repeated myself a little louder, "I'm gay."
Just like at GSA, they all went silent. Until my mother rose from her chair and drew me into a hug, saying, "Oh Will honey, I'm so glad you told us. I admit I wasn't expecting this and it is quite a shock. But you're my boy and I love you, no matter what."
Thus concludes the most emotionally draining day of my entire life.
Okay, where shall I start? How about last week when Fin tagged along to our progress meeting and told me to say...what I have to say, the next time Mr. Munroe asks if anyone has anything else to say.
The reason I start there is because we had another progress meeting sheduled today and I asked Fin to tag along again. Though, when she asked, I wouldn't tell her why I wanted her there.
So we sat through the progress meeting, same ol', same ol', until it was coming to a close and it was time for Mr. Munroe to utter the question, "Does anyone have anything else to say?"
I cleared my throat, raised my hand and said, "I do." I tried not to let my voice betray the nervousness that I felt. I looked at Fin, understanding suddenly apparent in her features. I stood up and rested my hands on the back of my chair.
"Well I," I started. "I just wanted to tell all of you." I paused. Fin reached up and took hold of my hand. I clung to her gratefully. "To tell all of you," I repeated. "That I'm gay."
For a minute I wasn't sure if I'd actually said it. I had kept my eyes trained on the floor when I had spoken but when I lifted my head the faces of the GSA showed no sign of having registered what I'd said. The room was still and silent. But I saw Jeremy, sitting across from me on the other sice of the circle of chairs, slowly rise from his seat and walk towards me. He walked around my chair, making me turn to face him and he stopped when there was about two feet between us.
All that time his face had been unreadable, but when he stopped, when he looked into my eyes, his face cracked into a grin and he, well, he hugged me. I hugged him back and, unable to verbally express the happiness that I felt, I laughed. We separated and he remained standing at my side when Mr. Munroe said, "Thank you for sharing that with all of us, Will. I'm glad you feel you can trust us, and I can personally assure you that you can." He gave me a proud smile. "Now, if that's everything, you're all dismissed."
As we all exited the class room and spilled into the hallway, a couple of the girls came over and gave me hugs and a couple of the straight guys came over and shook my hand. Riley was the last one out of the room and he smiled at me, tooke my hand and drew me into a sort of one armed hug, while our other arms remained sandwiched between us. It was sort of a half-hug, half-handshake and it left me very confused.
That was only school though.
I told Fin that she'd be eating dinner at my house and she didn't object. Actually she started crying and she hugged me and kissed my cheek.My Mom came home about two hours after we did and she was fine with Fin staying for dinner.
When dinner time came, I was seated at one end of the table, with Fin on my right. Tommy was on her right, my Mom was across from them and Jerry was at the other end, across from me. When everyone was about halfway done eating I said I had an announcement to make. I stood up and immediately reached for Fin's hand. I didn't realize at the time that taking Fin's hand may have led my family (or at the very least my mother) to believe that I was about to tell them Fin and I had started dating. That's ironic.
I adressed them all. "Family," I said. "I've given this a lot of thought, and I wouldn't tell you unless I was 100% sure. And I am. So I'll tell you. I...," I looked down at my plate and mumbled, "I'm gay."
Jerry said, "What's that, son? Speak up."
I lifted my head and repeated myself a little louder, "I'm gay."
Just like at GSA, they all went silent. Until my mother rose from her chair and drew me into a hug, saying, "Oh Will honey, I'm so glad you told us. I admit I wasn't expecting this and it is quite a shock. But you're my boy and I love you, no matter what."
Thus concludes the most emotionally draining day of my entire life.
♠ ♠ ♠
Woah! Okay, be honest, who saw that coming? Was it handled well, do you think?And did anyone read entry 15? Because the stats on my mibba say that it has had zero readers...
I'm curious.
Thank you everyone who has subscribed/read/reviewed!