Sequel: Memoirs of a Gay Guy : 1000 Things ›
Status: Complete.
Memoirs of a Gay Guy : Till September
Entry : 32
There was a message on my home answering machine yesterday from my step-grandmother, who lives in Stratford. Apparently, Jerry's father died recently and the funeral is next week. I was the first one to hear the message so I played it again when Jerry got home. He seemed to be indifferent to the whole situation, as I expected he would be. His father up and left his mother with him and four other kids.
I think his father sent child support checks, but that was the only contact that there ever was. Jerry wasn't even sure if his father was still living in Stratford. Later that night I could hear as Jerry and Mom talked about it in the kitchen. Jerry said he wasn't going to go to the funeral and Mom asked about his siblings. He said that he wouldn't be surprised if they didn't go either. Some of them even live in Stratford so it would be indecent if they don't go.
After eavesdropping for about two minutes, I couldn't listen to the depressing conversation any more, so I called Fin. I told her about the situation and she said she could understand that Jerry wasn't going, but I still didn't.
"Think about it. Would you go to your Dad's funeral if you found out he died?" she asked.
She's the only person I would let get away with that, mainly because she's the only person who knows. When I was old enough to understand that Jerry wasn't my father and Mom told me, "He hasn't been with us since you were 18 months old." I had accepted this and assumed that he had died, so I never questioned further.
But in grade 7, when Fin and I had officially declared ourselves to be best friends, I told her about my Dad. She found it fishy, the way Mom had put it, not really saying if he was even alive. Fin and I had been speculating for years since then that he was really still alive. Despite this theory, I never expressed any desire to find him.
"Well, would you?"
I'd been silent for a while after she asked the first time. This time I answered honestly, "No."
She was silent so I elaborated. "I mean, I never knew the guy, and he never knew me. And he doesn't know me now and I don't think it's likely that he ever will. My only connection to him is by genetics. I don't even know his name," I finished quietly.
"Why so quiet?" Fin asked.
"Just thinking," I told her, "that Jerry and I are really more alike than I ever thought."
I heard her smile as she said, "I've been trying to tell you that for years. You both love Big Brother, you both can't stand country music, you both love chinese food and you both have deadbeat Dads."
And through the irony of it all, I smiled and said, "Thanks."
I think his father sent child support checks, but that was the only contact that there ever was. Jerry wasn't even sure if his father was still living in Stratford. Later that night I could hear as Jerry and Mom talked about it in the kitchen. Jerry said he wasn't going to go to the funeral and Mom asked about his siblings. He said that he wouldn't be surprised if they didn't go either. Some of them even live in Stratford so it would be indecent if they don't go.
After eavesdropping for about two minutes, I couldn't listen to the depressing conversation any more, so I called Fin. I told her about the situation and she said she could understand that Jerry wasn't going, but I still didn't.
"Think about it. Would you go to your Dad's funeral if you found out he died?" she asked.
She's the only person I would let get away with that, mainly because she's the only person who knows. When I was old enough to understand that Jerry wasn't my father and Mom told me, "He hasn't been with us since you were 18 months old." I had accepted this and assumed that he had died, so I never questioned further.
But in grade 7, when Fin and I had officially declared ourselves to be best friends, I told her about my Dad. She found it fishy, the way Mom had put it, not really saying if he was even alive. Fin and I had been speculating for years since then that he was really still alive. Despite this theory, I never expressed any desire to find him.
"Well, would you?"
I'd been silent for a while after she asked the first time. This time I answered honestly, "No."
She was silent so I elaborated. "I mean, I never knew the guy, and he never knew me. And he doesn't know me now and I don't think it's likely that he ever will. My only connection to him is by genetics. I don't even know his name," I finished quietly.
"Why so quiet?" Fin asked.
"Just thinking," I told her, "that Jerry and I are really more alike than I ever thought."
I heard her smile as she said, "I've been trying to tell you that for years. You both love Big Brother, you both can't stand country music, you both love chinese food and you both have deadbeat Dads."
And through the irony of it all, I smiled and said, "Thanks."
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I've decided that there will be 50 entries. And I know that that would mean 18 more from this one, but they are short[ish] so it may go by faster than you think.