The Words to Define These Feelings

Phoebe's POV

I pulled the zipper on my suitcase shut and looked around me closely, making sure I hadn’t missed anything. It had come time for me and Paige to return to the offices of Alternative Press and get started on our huge article. I packed my cameras carefully into their case and zipped that closed too before slinging it over my shoulder.

“Phoebe?” Paige called from the front lounge. “Are you almost ready? We have to leave in half an hour if we want to make our flight!”

“When’s our flight again?” I mumbled, checking my phone for the time. 8:19am.

“Noon.”

“WHY DO WE NEED TO BE LEAVING THIS EARLY THEN? We didn’t have to wake up the boys at least.” I made my way up to the front of the bus and Paige shrugged at me.

“I’m always late. I thought we should get an early start, just to be safe.” I grumbled and shuffled down the steps of the bus. We were in a huge parking lot where a taxi was going to pick us up soon, apparently in half an hour. The guys were scattered around the parking lot doing various things, mostly trying to stay awake until we left I guess.

I set my stuff down next to Paige’s and cracked open a bottle of water. I had barely taken a sip before something tall and blonde had tackled me sideways, knocking both of us to the ground. “WHY are you so awake you bimbo?!” I groaned, pouting at my water bottle which was now half empty and rolling away from me.

“I am NOT a bimbo!” Kyle protested, thrusting another water bottle in my face. “I just had breakfast this morning.”

“And what did you have for breakfast, batteries?” We both stood up and I groaned again, realizing that half of the water bottle was splattered all over my favorite jeans.

“No stupid, I’d be dead if I ate batteries for breakfast.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed a fresh pair of pants from my suitcase then ran back onto the bus to change before the taxi got here. Kyle followed me and waited outside the door, tapping his hands against the door rhythmically and impatiently.

“Can I help you?” I called in a sing song voice.

“I need to tell you something best friend!” he whined from the other side, his desperation apparent. I buttoned my jeans then pulled the door open and sat next to Kyle, who was now seated on a couch.

“I just wanted to tell you, before you guys disappear for a while” he started, toying with the string on his basketball shorts. I nudged him gently, asking for him to continue. “What Gina and I were fighting about. I just thought I should tell you, because you know…if the guys aren’t here at some point, and I want someone to talk to, then I could call you, right?”

“Of course you can call me for help Kyle, anytime” I said soothingly.

“Okay good. Besides, girls know a lot about girls. And you’re a girl. And none of the other guys are girls. So you’ll probably be more helpful than them anyhow.”

“Sure. Now are you gonna tell me what’s up or keep making up things to stall for time?” He sighed and a smile failed to grace his presence, and I knew at this point that he was serious, that he really trusted me with whatever this was.

“Gina thinks that I’m cheating on her, like sleeping around with other girls on tour. But I would never do that to anybody, and it hurts to know that she’d think that, you know? She won’t stop texting me and asking me what’s wrong, or who I’m with, or why I never talk to her as much.” Kyle shoved his phone at me and muttered “Put your number in.” I looked at him carefully before doing so, making sure he was okay, for now at least. Then I punched in my number quickly and handed the phone back to him. He shoved it back in his pocket, then stared at me.

“Thanks” he said gently before dragging me over to him and embracing me. “I got you a ‘come-back-soon’ present!”

Kyle leapt up and skipped off to his bunk, returning to me with his hands behind his back. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.” I raised an eyebrow and scrutinized him carefully before shutting my eyes and extending my hands to him. He took one of my hands in both of his and moved it to his liking, then placed a strap on my palm and curled my fingers around it.

“Okay now OPEN them.” I opened my eyes and smiled, he’d given me the remnants of his Halloween candy.

“Kyle, this is so sweet of you. You don’t have to give me the rest of your candy, I don’t even have anything for you!”

“Oh, but I do! I owe you. I ate all the licorice and things with nuts cause I know you don’t like them.”

“Well then, I just may have to accept this gift.” My phone started ringing in my pocket, and I answered it in a hurry before it could get any louder. “Hello?”

“PHOEBE WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU!??!” Paige shrieked into my ear.

“Chill out Paigeface I’m on the bus. I spilled water on my pants.”

“Oh, okay. And where’s Kyle then?”

“He followed me because he’s a bimbo.”

“I AM NOT!” Kyle protested into the phone.

“Whatever, both of you need to stop…whatever you’re doing, and get out here now. The taxi is pulling up right now.” We booked it off the bus and I loaded my stuff into the trunk of the taxi before joining Paige and the guys. We’d already said good bye to the other bands the previous night, and technically we’d already said good bye to Forever the Sickest Kids.

But here they stood in front of us with varying stages of sadness on their faces. We all exchanged hugs, and I purposely saved my Kyle hug for last. He picked me up and held me close to him before swinging me around quickly, causing us both to laugh. “I think that should be our secret handshake” I whispered right before he put me down, still giggling.

“I agree” Kyle whispered back, winking at me and nudging me gently towards the taxi.

“Wait” I said before sliding into the taxi. “Where’s Caleb.” Everyone looked around and scattered, looking for Caleb everywhere. I raised an eyebrow at Paige. “Do you know where he is?” I asked with a grin. She scoffed and frowned, then crossed her arms and kicked at the air.

“I wish” she muttered, red coloring her cheeks. I giggled and helped everyone look for him.

“Look ladies, we gotta go” the taxi driver called to us, tapping the mile counter impatiently. Each extra minute of searching was costing us precious money.

“Paige, we have to leave” I said, tugging her into the cab and shutting the door. The cab pulled away and we knelt on the seat and watched the five disappear from view. As well as a tousled red head emerge from the bus a minute too late.

“Shit” Paige grumbled, and I giggled.

“So what did I miss that’s transpired between you and Mr. Turman?”

“He KISSED me!” Paige squealed, her face now as red as the hat (that I had NOT stolen from Jonathan) I wore.

“REALLY?!” I squealed back, an octave higher. She nodded, a smile clearly trying to break through the stiff expression on her face. I couldn’t help but to giggle more. “So what are you going to do without him now that we’ve left?”

“I’m going to ponder ways to kill him because he’s been avoiding me and it’s really pissing me off. I just want him to explain himself.”

“Oh. Stupid boys.”

“RIGHT?! I just…EURGH” Paige grumbled, then made a lot of indistinguishable noises. “So…what about you?”

“What about me?” I unwrapped a Reese’s and sucked on it happily, hugging the bag of candy to my chest.

“Where’d you get all that candy.”

“Kyle.”

“Right. What about you and Kyle.”

“What about me and Kyle?”

“STOP IT!” I stuck my tongue out and shoved a bag of M&M’s at Paige.

“There’s nothing about us” I said simply, shrugging my shoulders. “We’re friends. We have similar personalities, so we’ve been getting along well so far. That’s all.”

“Sure.” I bit my lip and swallowed. I had to do a better job of keeping my feelings for Kyle under the surface, otherwise Paige wouldn’t be the only one who would see them. I’d sort of expected Paige to figure it out; being my best friend she naturally knew everything. But if anyone else noticed, then I’d be screwed.

I slid my phone open to see the text I’d just received from an unknown number. It was a picture of Kyle wearing my turquoise beanie. ‘You left your hat! Well, now it’s my hat. Miss you already kid. ~Kyle’

“Fuck my life” I mumbled, mentally prepping myself for the long road ahead of me.