The Words to Define These Feelings

“Ha!” I jumped up off the floor in victory as Yoshi crossed the finish line in first place on Mario Kart, “I knew I could beat you Turman.”

“No way, lets play again, best two out of three,” He demanded, and I just shook my head.

“Nuh-uh, I won fair and square,” I pointed my finger at him, “Don't be a sore loser.”

“Alright, you win,” He threw his hands up in defeat.

“Thank you,” I grinned triumphantly. We heard a knock on the door, and Phoebe went over to answer it.

“Emma, hey,” She said, opening the door to reveal one of our neighbors from down the hall.

“Hey Phoebe, Paige,” She nodded to me, “We're having a party at my apartment for my birthday if you guys want to stop by. Your friends can come too,” She invited, noticing all of the guys in our living room.

“You guys want to go to a party?” Phoebe asked.

“Will there be cake?” Jonathan asked very seriously.

“Yes,” Emma answered with a laugh.

“Then yes,” Jonathan decided, and I rolled my eyes as everyone went to find their shoes.

“We'll be over in a few minutes Emma,” Phoebe said, closing the door.

We all piled out of the apartment and I led the way down the hall to Emma's apartment. When I opened the door, I found myself faced with a good fifty people packed in the apartment, and I gently pushed my way through to the end of the room, Caleb right behind me.

“There are a lot of people here,” He said.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” I joked, smiling at him.

“Drink?” He asked, and I realized we had stopped directly next to the liquor table.

“Why not?” I shrugged and poured myself a drink. I took a sip and surveyed the room. I didn't see anyone else from our group at first, but then I noticed Kent and Jonathan in the corner talking to some of Emma's friends and Phoebe with Marc and Austin on the couches across the room. It seemed that Caleb and I were stuck in the corner though, because if we even wanted to attempt to move we'd have to shove through the cluster of people next to us.

“I don't think we'll be able to move anytime soon,” Caleb said.

“Well, not unless you want to have beer spilled all over you from shoving past partially drunk people,” I agreed, leaning against the wall and finishing the liquid in my cup. I went to pour myself more and looked at Caleb.

“You want more?” I asked, and he nodded, handing me his cup.

“Yes please,” He said, and he sat down on the floor. I handed him his drink and sat down too. We sat there and talked for a little while, and I jumped up to get refills whenever my cup was empty. Emma's roommate announced that it was time for cake, and when I stood up to sing 'Happy Birthday,' I realized I was more buzzed than I thought. I stumbled as I tried to keep my balance, and I grabbed onto Caleb's arm for support.

“Are you okay?” He asked, putting his hand on my waist to help steady me.

“Yeah, just a little tipsy,” I answered, standing still for a second, then turning to face the kitchen. Caleb kept his arm on my waist the whole time time we sang Happy Birthday, and once the lights came back on and the music resumed, Caleb looked at my face for a minute. I went to pour myself another drink, but he gently pulled me back.

“I think you've had enough to drink,” He said softly.

“But I want more,” I complained.

“You're going to be completely wasted if you drink anything else,” He said, and I groaned.

“Okayyyy,” I said, drawing out the word, “I guess you're right,” I pulled out of his grip and slumped against the wall.

“Paige,” He hesitated, “Do you want to go back to your apartment and lay down? You look like you're done for the night.”

I looked at him for a second, then nodded.

“That sounds like a good idea,” I said, pushing off the wall and attempting to get out of our corner, “Excuse me,” I slurred, not being heard by anyone. Caleb grabbed my hand from behind me and led my way through the crowd. We stopped by the couches where Phoebe, Marc, a girl I didn't know, and Jonathan were sitting.

“There you two are,” Phoebe said, her expression changing when she saw me, “And Paige has been drinking.”

“I only had, I only had a few,” I said defensively, “Caleb was drinking too.”

“Yeah, I had two beers,” Caleb said, “She had like, five rum and cokes. I'm going to walk her back to your apartment, I'll be back in a few minutes.”

“Okay, thanks Caleb,” Phoebe said with a smile. Caleb led the way to the door, and once we got into the hallway, I made him put his arm around my waist to steady me.

“Caleb,” I muttered, “I like you Caleb.”

He laughed, then said, “Thanks Paige, I like you too.”

“No Caleb,” I moaned, “I mean I realllllllly like you,” I stretched out the word 'really' to emphasize my point.

“Paige,” He groaned, “You really shouldn't. And you really don't,” He said, “It's just the alcohol talking.”

“No,” I protested as we reached my apartment, “I do, I do.”

He looked at me for a second as he took my key from me, then unlocked the door and walked me to my room.

“Paige, you don't. And you'll remember that tomorrow when you wake up and you're not drunk anymore,” He insisted.

“Mmmmmmnnno,” I mumbled nonsensically, and then I realized he was leaving, “Calebbbb,” I wailed, “Don't leave me.”

He turned around in the doorway, obviously torn.

“Please don't leave,” I said quietly, and he came to sit next to me on the bed.

“Okay, I'm not leaving,” He said, “I won't leave if you'll go to sleep.”

I nodded and pulled my pajamas out of the drawer next to my bed.

“Don't look, okay?” I said, and he put a hand over his eyes.

“I won't look,” He agreed, and I put on my flannel pajama pants and an old t-shirt, then tugged his hand off his eyes.

“Thank you for bringing me home Caleb,” I said.

“You're welcome Paige,” He answered, pulling down my comforter so I could climb into my bed. Once I laid down, he pulled the comforter up to my chin and sat on the corner of my bed.

“You should lay down and sleep too. You look tired,” I said, and he slowly took his shoes off and laid down next to me, on top of the comforter.

“G'night,” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

“Goodnight,” He answered. After a few minutes, he must have thought I had fallen completely asleep because I felt him press a gentle kiss on my cheek and whisper, “If only you really felt that way,” before I slipped into dreamland.