The Words to Define These Feelings

Paige's POV

I blinked wearily at the top of my dark bunk as I fumbled around to find my cell phone. I finally closed my hand around it and pulled it towards my face, pressing a button that illuminate the screen to figure out what time it was. 10:26, perfect, I thought as I sat up. Phoebe had her first photoshoot with the guys at noon, and I would be conducting preliminary interviews with everyone individually when they weren't needed on set. I was excited to chat more in-depth with the guys and get to know them more as individuals. But, sadly, I had a feeling that when it came time to sit down with Caleb, it would be like pulling teeth just to get anything good for my piece.

I shook my worries from my head as I pulled my blanket away from my body and grabbed the corner of the curtain that was currently concealing me into my bunk. I yanked the curtain back and began to roll out onto the floor when I realized the person in the bunk opposite mine was doing the exact same thing. I groaned as I collided with Caleb and landed awkwardly on top of him. I blushed as I realized he was only wearing a pair of pajama pants and embarrassingly scrambled to stand up.

“Sorry Caleb, sorry, I didn't realize you were getting out of your bunk too,” I was talking too fast, and I bit my lip worriedly. I was trying to improve my relationship with Caleb, not make it worse, “I'm sorry.”

He stood up in front of me and looked at me for a second, then rolled his eyes and shrugged as he brushed past me to the kitchen.

“Whatever,” I heard him grumble as I stood there staring at the floor for a few seconds before I grabbed my toothbrush and some clean clothes and went to the tiny bus bathroom to get ready. When I opened the door to walk back to my bunk, Jonathan was standing there with a giant grin on his face.

“Hey Paige,” He said.

“Uh, hey Jonathan,” I smiled, throwing my stuff back into my bunk and closing the curtain as I slipped on my Vans, “What's up?”

“Well, I'm looking for someone to help me fly a kite,” He said.

“You want to fly a kite?” I asked blankly, laughing when he began to nod his head.

“Yeah, Austin and I just bought one. Come on!” He dragged me off the bus and out to an empty part of the parking lot. I squinted against the bright morning sunlight to see Austin standing there with a neon colored kite in his hands. He smiled at me as I approached, handing me the kite and telling me to run so it could gather speed. I laughed and took the kite, jogging the length of the parking lot and letting the kite go when Austin and Jonathan screamed to me to let it fly. It lingered pathetically in the air for a few seconds then descended to meet the black asphalt in a defeated way. After a few more failed attempts, I told them to try just the two of them, and took out my camera to document the failed chronicles of flying a kite. Jonathan and Austin grew tired of not being able to make the kite fly, and they were just about to head back inside when Phoebe rounded the corner of the bus and yelled that she needed the whole band on set.

“We've got to go over concepts for today's shoot!” She sing-songed as she whipped open the door to the bus and coaxed everyone out to where she had set up her camera. I took the opportunity to grab my notebook and the questions I had written out last night from the bus. I parked myself in a chair on the side of the shoot, and as soon as I noticed Kyle was free, I motioned for him to come join me.

“Hey,” He dropped his bike next to the chairs and sat down.

“Hey, I just wanted to ask some simple stuff so I can get to know you,” I smiled, and dove into my questions, finding out everything I could think of from his favorite color to how he got started in music to whether he considered tomatoes to be fruits or vegetables. When Phoebe called over to us that Kyle was needed on set, I grabbed Marc next. For the next hour I pulled the guys over one by one, carefully avoiding Caleb until I only had two interviews left: him and Jonathan. I figured it would be best to just get Caleb's interview over with as fast as possible and end on an enjoyable note by talking to Jonathan.

“Caleb,” I called, my voice cracking as I yelled his name across the lot, “Hey Caleb,” I said a little more quietly, but more composed. Jonathan looked over sympathetically and tapped Caleb on the shoulder, pointing in my direction. He turned his head and looked at me curiously for a second. I beckoned for him to come over as Jonathan said something into his ear, and then he sighed and came over.

“Interview?” He asked quietly as he stood next to me, and I nodded, motioning for him to sit next to me. He sat down and looked at me, obviously not wanting to talk until I did.

“Alright, so, uh,” I clutched my notebook and stared at the questions. They all seemed so stupid to me now. I realized for the first time that I was nervous. My cheeks were starting to turn a light shade of pink, revealing my embarrassment. I didn't want Caleb to think I was an idiot, “Uh, what's your favorite color?” I asked lamely, staring at my notebook so I didn't have to look at him.

“Seriously?” He asked, “If all your questions are like this, can we at least make it quick?”

I nodded, biting my lip before launching into my list of questions. We went back and forth with almost no pause, me spitting out a question and him answering as quickly and concisely as possible. His answers didn't reveal as much as I wanted, and there was no playful banter like there had been with the other guys. He wasn't looking at me, but off into the distance beyond my shoulder. It felt so much more like a cut-and-dry interview than the conversation I had been trying to create. My cheeks get redder as I dropped my papers and scrambled to gather them again.

“Caleb!” Phoebe's voice cut through the awkward air surrounding us, “Caleb, I need you over here, we're doing shots of the whole band now.”

“So we're done then?” He asked, standing up. I nodded quickly and he walked off towards the set without a backwards glance. I sighed and took a sip from my waterbottle. If that was just the preliminary interview, I didn't want to think about what was going to happen when I had to ask the tough stuff, the emotional questions that I had a feeling Caleb was going to ignore to the best of his ability. How was I supposed to write a well-rounded article about the entire band when one of the members wouldn't even let me try to get to know him?