Light In The Darkness

"You remember I told you my parents died?" I asked.
"Yes," he said softly.
"It was a car accident," I said as my memories transported me back to that day. "I was in the backseat...I was arguing with them...

The rain plummeted against the roof of the car and against the windows. The windscreen wipers tried unsuccessfully to keep the screen clear. "But I don’t want to go see Aunty Alice," I complained. "She always teases me and I don’t like it."
"Sweetie, she's like that to everyone," mum said calmly. "She's not doing it to be mean."
"But I don’t want to!" I cried. "It's not fair!"
"Lauren, we're not having this argument again," dad said calmly from the driver's seat.
"But dad...!" I cried.
"No, we rarely ever go to see her, so when we do, you will be civil, understood?" he asked but I didn't reply. It was awkwardly silent for a few seconds and then I said something that I would regret for the rest of my life.
"I hate you," I said, venom in my voice. Both mum and dad turned and looked at me in stunned silence.

And then it wasn’t silent anymore. There was the squeal of breaks, the scream from mum who had seen what was going to happen, and then...nothing.

I woke up in hospital, one week later, orphaned and blind.

I took my glasses off before I leant into Cole embrace and let me tears run down my cheeks. I had never told anyone that story, I was too ashamed. I clung to Cole and he held me tightly. "It wasn’t your fault, baby," he whispered but I ignored him. I knew it was my fault. We were both silent as I cried into his chest and he stroked my back tenderly. I pulled back after a long time and looked at his silver shining form.
"It was my fault," I choked out as more tears ran down my cheeks.
"Baby, it was not," he said as he tenderly wiped away my tears. "It was probably hard to see due to the rain anyway. It may have still happened anyway. All 10 year olds get stroppy and say that to their parents at one point or another. It wasn’t your fault." I couldn’t stop the tears that continued to roll down my cheeks.
"Do...do you think me being blind is a punishment for what I said?" I whispered.
"Lauren, listen to me," he said firmly and put his head on my cheek and forced me to look towards him. "It was not your fault. You being blind is a horrible consequence, of a terrible accident. But I can't help but be thankful that you were only blinded and not killed, because I can't imagine my life without you."
"I love you," I whispered as I shut my eyes. "The doctor said that it was just a head injury that caused the blindness. That I'm fine, my head recovered from the collision, but my blindness remained. He said they were looking into fixing it, but they haven’t got back to me."
"What do you say we go find Pacca and go home?" Cole asked and I nodded and couldn’t help but smile. Not because he was doing what I had needed – a change of conversation – but because when he said 'home' I immediately thought of his place. I already felt at home in his house. But maybe that was just because he was there.

When we got home, Cole let Pacca off the lead and then immediately grabbed my waist and pulled me tightly against me and kissed me deeply. I suddenly felt the sofa behind my knees and realised that Cole had commandeered us through the hall and into the living room. I fell onto the sofa and Cole followed me down and lay over me, covering any available skin in light, feathering kisses. "Stay the night," he whispered between kisses. My heart raced faster than it had been and Cole pulled away from me and looked down at me. I nodded and Cole pressed another searing kiss to my lips. "Guess what?" he said and I smiled.
"What?" I asked.
"I got the job in the school," he said and I grinned.
"You did? Congratulations!" I smiled and kissed him tenderly. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"It didn't seem right," he said and I looked at him as though he was nuts. There had been plenty of time – before we left for the park, in the park before he asked me about my past. "Maybe I just didn't want to tell you," he admitted and I felt that admission go straight to my heart and I frowned.
"Why?" I asked him.
"Nothing bad," he said quickly. "It's just...I didn't want you to be upset. I know you want that sort of job and I didn't want you to remember...that you couldn’t have one..."
"I've accepted it," I said with a slightly shrug that hinted at less acceptance than I was letting on.
"You know, baby, you're not as good of a liar as you think you are," he whispered and I smiled weakly.
"I normally am," I smiled. "Les and Kim believed I was happy. But then I met you and I didn't have to pretend anymore. Maybe you just know me too well and can see through my lies."
"You were unhappy?" he asked, ignoring my later sentence.
"I was...lonely, I guess," I shrugged. "I didn't have any family and I only had Les and Kim when they weren’t busy. But then I found you."
"And you're never going to be lonely again," Cole whispered. "That is a promise."

I smiled at him and kissed him tenderly. He pulled me up into a sitting position and I heard the television come on. Music flowed from it and a song came on and I smiled. 'I Believe My Heart' played and I snuggled against Cole. This song seemed to speak exactly what was going through my mind. "This is my new favourite song," I whispered and Cole laughed softly. The last line, 'I believe my heart. The portrait that it paints of you is a perfect work of art.' I smiled again at that, because in my head and my heart, Cole was perfect. I wrapped my arms around Cole's waist and he brought my legs over his lap. One of his hands stroked my thigh and the other held my waist. I leant my head against his shoulder and occasionally kissed his neck softly.
"I love you so much," he whispered as more music continued softly. My heart flipped and tears came to my eyes.
"I love you," I whispered back and Cole pulled back slightly.
"Baby, why are you crying?" he asked and I smiled and shook my head.
"I'm just...happy," I said and tightened my arms around him. "I didn't think anyone would...want me."
"Why the hell not?" he asked passionately. "You're beautiful, smart, funny, sexy. You're perfect." I smiled at him and then lay my head back on his shoulder. I shut my eyes and just basked in Cole's presence. I don’t know how long we sat there but after a long while I started yawning. "Come on, baby," Cole said and we stood up and went upstairs.

He led me to the bed and I sat down on the soft mattress. I heard the rustle of clothes and knew Cole was getting undressed. I knew I should as well, but all of a sudden I was unsure of myself and couldn’t move. "Lauren? You okay?" Cole asked and I turned towards him. He must have seen my nerves because he came and sat next to me and took my hand in his. "I'm not going to hurt you, baby. We're just going to sleep," he said softly. I nodded but still couldn’t make myself undress. It would be one thing if I could see him, but this was one sided and seemed unfair. Cole reached up and took my glasses off and put them on a table next to the bed. He then hugged me to him and I could feel his warm chest beneath my fingers. I hesitantly moved my hands over his chest and stomach and used my hands to get a sense of what he looked like. What I felt got my heart racing. His chest and stomach was hard muscle and my fingers ran over his 6-pack. I heard Cole's breathing get faster and then I felt the waistband of his boxers. I took my hands away from him and pulled back and put my hands on the hem of my t-shirt and pulled it over my head. I then moved my hands to the button on my jeans and opened it and then pulled my jeans off. I then turned back to Cole and felt myself turning red. Sitting in front of Cole in just my bra and panties was thrilling and terrifying at the same time. I wished I could see his face so I could read what he was thinking. I raised my hand hesitantly to his face. My fingertips touched his cheek and I moved them softly towards his lips, which were parted. I traced the outline of them and then I moved my hand down the side of his neck, down his arm, to his hand. I lifted his hand and put it on my waist, bringing him closer. I could feel his body heat coming off him in waves and soaking into my skin. I closed my eyes under his gentle caress and tried hard not to fall back onto the bed.
"Cole," I managed to say. "Make love to me." I felt Cole's surprise and his touch froze for a second.
"Are you sure?" he whispered, his voice strained.
"I'm sure," I whispered as Cole's other hand landed on my thigh. "I love you, I trust you more than anyone else. I want you." Then Cole's mouth was on mine and everything else in the world just evaporated. There was me and Cole and the wonderful love between us.