Light In The Darkness

"Lauren?" he asked softly. I frowned but couldn’t manage to say anything. "Lauren?" he repeated. I parted my lips to speak but still no words came out. My emotions were jumping all over the place. Of course, there was the initial, 'I'll-be-able-to-see!' but then there was the 'what-if-it-goes-wrong?' and 'I'm-blind-because-of-what-I-did-to-my-parents.' I didn't know what to think. Finally, I said the emotion that was taking up the majority of space in my head.
"But I'm supposed to be blind," I whispered. "Because of what happened." Cole immediately reached out and picked up my hands in his.
"I don’t believe that, baby," he said sincerely. "Don't you think you're parents would want you to be happy?" I hesitated before shaking my head no. "What? Why?" he asked, astonished.
"They...I deserve this for what I said, what I caused," I said softly. "They died and they would think this is only fair."
"You really think your parents would think that?" he asked. I closed my eyes. No, I don’t think that. My parents would hate me if I didn't try to be happy.
"No," I said softly. I opened my eyes and focused on him in the darkness. "They would want me to be happy." I tried to smile at him but it came out too wobbly. "But...what if something goes wrong?"
"How could it be any worse?" he asked softly.
"I could lose you," I said quietly.
"You could never lose me, baby," he replied and I smiled.
"I meant...I could lose your...glow," I whispered. "I don’t want that to happen."
"I don’t think that could happen," he whispered back and kissed my lips tenderly. I smiled weakly.

We sat there for a while longer and completely forgot about the post as both of us were lost in our thoughts. My thoughts had moved into new territory. They were still negative thoughts, however. If I go back to the hospital I would have to leave Cole for a time. The hospital was about an hours drive away, and while not extreme, I couldn’t ask Cole to come with me when he was about to start a new job. But I didn't want to do this on my own... "You know I'll come with you," he said, as though reading my thoughts.
"I can't ask you to do that," I shook my head. "You've got to go to work."
"I won't let you do this on your own," he said stubbornly and I smiled in relief. However, I still felt guilty.
"I...But you...you're just starting a new job," I insisted. As much as I wanted him to be with me, I didn't want him to risk his new job.
"Lauren, stop arguing, I'm coming with you," he said and I smiled. "What about we phone them now, and maybe see if you can get an appointment before the term starts?"
"You know how much I love you," I smiled and kissed his hand softly.
"I know, I love you, too," he whispered and kissed my lips softly.
"Can you stay tonight?" I whispered. "Please?"
"Of course," he replied.

We spent the rest of the day together in the living room or the kitchen. Cole left for a short while to feed Pacca, but returned straight away. In the time he was out I went upstairs and got changed into a pair of black shorts and a black tank top. I sat on the side of my bed and then hesitantly reached out and picked up my phone. I dialled the number of the hospital and made my appointment. My heart was racing the whole time and I couldn’t help but think about the scary aspects to this. However, I persevered and booked a date. I heard the front door open and shut. "I'm up here," I called out and moments later Cole was sitting next to me. I turned to him. "I've got an appointment on Thursday at 3pm."
Two days later at 1.30, Cole and I were pulling away from my house in his car. My stomach was filled with nerves and Cole held onto my hand and reassured me the whole journey. "Do you really think it will be alright?" I asked him for what must have been the thousandth time.
"Baby, everything will be fine," he said, his thumb stroking my hand. "Just think of everything positive. For example, you will be able to see Pacca." I grinned and nodded. I remembered the first time I had seen Pacca and what I had wished.
"When I first went to your house, I wished that I could see you playing with Pacca," I smiled. "I wished that I could see you smile just once and then I would be able to get by." I smiled slightly at how naive I had been. I wouldn’t have been satisfied just seeing Cole smile. I would then want to see all other emotions portrayed on his face. "I think that ever since I met you, my wishes per day have increased so much. Everytime you do something I wish I could see it."
"Well then, just think. Maybe in a couple days time you'll be able to." I could hear the pleasure in Cole's voice from the things I had told him. Probably because I had told him I had wished to see him and Pacca together.

I smiled and nodded again, and focused on that for the rest of the journey. When Cole pulled the car to a stop in the car park I felt my stomach start fluttering again. "Hey," Cole said softly, sensing my nerves. I turned to him and he pecked me tenderly on the lips. "It's alright. No matter what happens, you will always have me. I love you."
"I love you, too," I whispered and held his hand. I raised it to my lips and kissed his palm.
"Come on, baby," he said softly. "You know you want to find out." I smiled and nodded and then climbed out of the car. I walked around the front of the car and put my stick out in front of me. Cole took my hand in his and together we walked across the car park.

When we went through the door I took a deep breath. Cole squeezed my hand and guided me to the reception desk. "We're here to see Dr Reece," Cole said. I heard the rustle of papers.
"Ah, yes," the woman said. "Three o'clock. Walk down the corridor on the left and there are seats at the end of it. She will be with you soon."
"Thank you," Cole said and then we walked down the corridor. It seemed to go on forever but I'm sure it was actually really short and it just seemed longer.

We had been sitting down for about 5 minutes and a door opened and a familiar voice from my past said, "Lauren Simons?" I stood up and Cole stood with me.
"Please can I come in with her?" he asked and I waited for the response.
"If she wants you to," Dr Reece said. I turned to him.
"Of course I want you to come with me," I said, not letting go of his hand. He then led me into the doctor's office and guided me to a seat.
"How have you been Lauren? I haven’t talked to you in years," the doctor said. I smiled and nodded.
"About 11 years," I agreed. "I'm alright. And you?"
"Fine thanks," she replied. "Now then, we had another look at your file recently and we got Dr Freeman to look at it, and he noticed something that we had overlooked. He thinks that your sight can be restored with a simple surgery." Thrills ran through me while I shivered in fear slightly. Cole squeezed my hand reassuringly.
"Really?" I asked, forcing noise from my throat.
"Yes," she said. "However, there is one problem. Your insurance won't cover the surgery and it would cost £10 000," the doctor said and hope rushed out of me.
"I...I can't afford that," I said softly, not wanting my disappointment to show.
"I can," Cole said and I gasped and turned to him.
"No," I said quickly. "I can't take that from you. I won't."
"Can we have a minute?" Cole said to the doctor.
"Of course," Dr Reece said and a few seconds later I heard the door open and then shut.
"Cole, I won't-"
"Lauren, just hear me out, ok?" he asked and I nodded. I heard him slide off the seat and he knelt in front of me and took my hands in his. "You know how much I love you, right?" I nodded.
"I know," I whispered. I felt Cole's hands at my temples and he pulled my glasses off. He put his hands on my cheeks and tilted my head to look down at him. I kept my eyes closed until Cole whispered.
"Open your eyes, baby." I opened them and could see his silvery glow through the darkness.
"I love you so, so much. I would do anything to make you as happy as you could possibly be," he said softly.
"I am happy just being with you," I whispered.
"But you could be happier," he said and I didn't argue. "I want you to be happy, I want you to get the surgery, and then I want you to marry me." My lips parted in shock but before I could say anything, Cole continued. "Think about it, sweetie. You are going to marry me aren’t you?"
"Yes," I whispered.
"And you'd want to be able to see for the wedding?" he asked.
"Yes," I whispered, tears trickling down my cheeks.
"When we are married, what's mine is yours," Cole said as he tenderly wiped the tears away. "I would give you the money once we were married anyway, this just makes more sense."
"You know how much I love you, right?" I whispered and Cole laughed softly.
"I know," he whispered back and then kissed me lovingly.

He pulled back after a while and stood up. "Where are you going?" I asked, not wanting him to leave me.
"It's alright," he said softly and kissed the top of my head. "I'm just getting the doctor." I nodded and then heard the door open, Cole call for the doctor, and then both of them were back in the room. "Lauren will have the surgery," Cole said and my stomach lurched. I could feel how tense I was in my seat. "It's okay, baby," he said softly to me and took my hand again. I licked my lips and nodded.
"We can book a slot now," Dr Reece said. "If you make an appointment in the office across the hall."
"How long will I be in hospital?" I asked her, my voice quiet.
"About 5 days, maybe a week," she said and I nodded.
"Thank you," Cole said and pulled me up. We walked out into the corridor and the door shut behind us. Cole then pulled my up against his chest and kissed me deeply. When he pulled away I sighed at the loss. We then walked into the office across from Dr Reece's room.
"Good afternoon, how can I help?" a young woman said.
"We have to make an appointment for Lauren's surgery," Cole said and my chest tightened again. He rubbed his thumb along my wrist and I calmed slightly.
"Oh, yes," she said and typed something into the computer. "We have an opening late September time." My heart plunged as I realised that Cole had started work by then and so wouldn’t be able to come with me.
"Is there anything sooner than the 9th of September?" he asked.
"That's only a week and a half away," she said.
"I'm a teacher, and I need to be with Lauren through this," he said and tears came to my eyes. I wasn’t sure if he needed to be with me because he knew I needed him, or if he actually needed to be here with me. I hoped it was both.
"Let's see," the woman said. "We have an open slot on Monday..."
"As in...4 days?" I asked, my heart thudding.
"Yes, this Monday," she repeated. I swallowed but didn't know what to say. I nodded mutely.
"That's fine," Cole said for me. "She'll take it."