Fighting Ourselves.

Ellie’s POV

I stirred in my sleep and moaned when I realized that I had forgotten to close the curtains, the sun was shining brightly through the window. Damn California…

I slowly sat up on the bed and quickly regret it. I cradled my head in my hands and moaned, my skull was about to split in two… I was going to need painkillers… I shouldn’t have drunk that much last night at the beach…

I opened my eyes again and realized I was in the spare room, and still wearing the clothes from the day before. It was a miracle I had managed to make it to the room, so I guess I was helped…

Slowly but surely I got out of the bed and to the door, trying not to do any brusque movement, or anything that might accentuate the pounding in my head.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen and saw that someone was already up and had taken care of their hung over. I grabbed two pills and popped them into my mouth before filling a glass with water and swallowing the pills along with the water.

“Oh, you’re awake already?” asked Adeline, as she skipped in the kitchen.

“Yeah…” was my lame reply.

“I knew someone might get up soon, I mean it’s already 11am… So yeah, I thought I should like… put the pain killers on the counter along with a glass and some water you know… And I made some coffee, do you want some coffee?” she asked, rubbing her neck nervously and looking at me like she expected me to burst in tears or something.

“Sure…” I said slowly, her rambling in the morning wasn’t the best thing in the world when you’re hung over, let me tell you that.

“Here you go sis’!” she said as I sat at the counter and she placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of me.

“You know I love you, right?” she asked, looking at me as I brought the mug of coffee up to my face and inhaled the scent. What? I love coffee, is that a crime? I brought the hot liquid to my mouth and took a small sip before placing the mug back on the counter.

“Yeah, I think you do… But why are you saying that all of a sudden when you know damn well I’m hung over…” I asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

She just shrugged, wrapped her arms around me in a hug before she let go of me and headed towards the table.

“I made pancakes too… I figured you’d be hungry…” she said as she put some on a plate and then placed the plate in front of me along with a fork and some maple syrup.

“Okay… Adeline, tell me… What did you do?” I asked, looking at the pancakes and then at my sister.

“Nothing!” she said quickly.

I frowned but started eating none the less.

“Oh my God, you didn’t kill Brian, did you?” I asked all of a sudden, her eyes widened.

“Why would I do that?” she asked.

“Because he let the guys throw you in the ocean, I remember that…” I said.

“And what else do you remember?” she asked slowly, backing towards the door as if she wanted to escape.

“I remember Matt wanting to throw me in the ocean too…” I said slowly. “By the way, where’s Nate?” I asked, taking a bit of pancakes. Her eyes widened even more, and she mumbled a quick, “I don’t know, ask Matt!” before she ran out of the kitchen just as Matt and Brian came in.

“Oh, you’re awake?” asked Matt, doing the first thing I did when I came in the kitchen and popping pills before handing the Advils’ to Brian who did the same.

“Yeah…” I said slowly, eyeing both men suspiciously. What the fuck was going on here? Why did they kept on looking at me like I was going to burst in tears or something…

“By the way, where’s Nate?” I asked, looking at Matt. “Adeline told me to ask you that…” I said, before taking a sip of coffee.

Matt’s face drenched of all colors and the glass slipped from his hand but hopefully Brian caught it.

“You don’t remember what happened last night?” asked Matt, carefully.

“Well, I remember Adeline being thrown in the ocean, I remember the fire, and Nate being here too… And you guys were pretty smashed, apart from that I…” I stopped in the middle of my sentence and my head snapped to Matt.

“You punched him.” I said, pointing a finger at him, “You punched Nate, I remember that!” I said, my voice raising.

Matt rubbed his neck nervously, before quickly glancing at Brian and then back at me.

“I swear I was under the influence of alcohol!” he said, sitting down next to me.

“But you fucking punched him for no reason!” I screamed, glaring daggers at Matt. “You don’t go around and punched people just because you’re drunk!”

“He deserved it…” said Adeline as she appeared in the kitchen once again, making sure to avoid any contact with Brian.

“What do you mean?” I asked, glaring at her.

“Oh no, I won’t explain… Go on mister Shads’, who pretends to be drunk off his ass… Just like you Gates!” she said before going towards the fridge and opening it.

“What? Will someone explain to me what’s going on, and where’s Nate?” I asked, annoyed.

“He started shit because I wanted to throw you in the water, but we both know I wouldn’t have done it!” said Matt. “He told me to let you go, he said you were his…” added Matt. “He insulted us, telling us how pathetic and retarded we were…” he explained, looking down at his lap. “I told him you weren’t his, and he replied that you weren’t mine either and I…” he trailed off.

“You what? You jumped on him and smashed his face?” I asked, bewildered.

“That’s pretty much what Matt did, yeah…” commented Adeline, as she grabbed a plate, put some pancakes on it and placed it in front of Matt, before grabbing one for herself and sitting down on the counter, leaving Brian to grab a plate for himself.

“You’re an ass!” I muttered, shaking my head. “Where’s Nate?” I asked again, this time looking at Brian.

“You said something about an airport yesterday, after you were done with the bottle of Vodka…” explained my sister. “And before you started with the J.D…”

“Airport, what the fuck would he be doing in a fucking airport?” I asked, glaring at Adeline, you put up her hands in surrender. Brian coughed, making my attention turn back to him.

“I might have told Nate that as long as Matt will be around, you’ll always choose him over Nate…?” asked/said Brian, biting his bottom lip and rubbing his neck nervously.

“You did what?” I screeched. “That was 5 fucking years ago Brian! Things have changed!!” I snapped, before adding “Tell me it’s all but a lame joke and that Nate isn’t at the airport, about to fly back to France?!” I asked, slamming both hands on the table. The guys looked at each others, avoiding my gaze.

“FUCK!” was all I said, before jumping off the stool and hurrying towards the stairs, completely forgetting about my headache.

“Ellie, I’m sorry! I really am! Let me drive you to the airport!!” pleaded Matt, following to my room. I ignored him as I grabbed some clothes, that was all I could do at the moment, that or slapping him, but I knew I’d regret it so I settled on ignoring him…

I slammed the bathroom door in his face and locked the door before taking off my yesterday clothes and stepped in the shower, trying to get ready as fast as possible, to have a chance to catch Nate before it was too late…

**

“What the fuck are you doing here? I really don’t want to see your face right now…” I muttered, throwing my clothes in my bag, taking my cell phone and hoodie before trying to walk past Brian to get out of the room.

“Ellie, I’m sorry! Please forgive me, and Matt too…” he said, blocking my way.

“Listen, I don’t have the time for your shit right now, let me pass before I have to call Adeline and she’ll be more than happy to kick your sorry ass…” I snarled. Brian stepped out of my way and I stormed downstairs, nearly tripping down the stairs.

I quickly put on my Chucks and then went to grab the door handle but someone took hold of my wrist.

“Matt, let me go or I swear I’ll castrate you…” I said, as I was facing the door, my eyes closed, trying my best to stay calm, or at least not hit him.

“Then let me drive you to the airport…” he said. I sighed and opened the door.

“Let’s go…” I mumbled. “Oh and don’t kill each others while we’re gone!” I yelled over my shoulder at Adeline who was still in the kitchen.

“I can’t promise anything!” was the only thing I heard before Matt closed the door after us.

**

“Fucking L.A traffic…” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and tapping my foot on a steady beat, matching the drums beat of the song that was playing on the radio.

I looked up and watched as a plane took off. I felt my heart tighten in my chest, afraid Nate would be in this plane. I had been wondering the same thing every time I saw a plane taking off. We hadn’t moved for a good ten minutes…

“You should have known it was going to be that way before leaving the house, if you’d have listened to me, I’d have told you to wait a li…” Matt started but I cut him off.

“And what? Miss his flight?! Yeah, really clever Matt!” I snapped, glaring at him.
He frowned and his grip tightened on the wheel.

We fell silent after that, and I mentally thanked God for it. I focused on the radio, trying to stay as calm as possible, praying to God that the plane hadn’t taken off yet and that Nate was still there…

“Ellie…” started Matt. I didn’t reply, and he continued his sentence. I sighed and turned to look at him, trying my best to look really annoyed. Something I was thankful Adeline taught me to do…

“I just want to tell you that once we are at the airport, and you stop Nate from going back to France, I’ll be done.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, scrunching up my eyebrows.

“I mean, that once you’ll be back in Nate’s arms. I’m done with you.” He said, keeping his eyes on the road even though we were stuck in the traffic and weren’t moving.

My eyes widened.
“What?”

“You know I still love you Ellie… You being married to Brian is something I can handle, but seeing you with Nate… I can’t take it anymore. I know I reacted like an asshole by punching him yesterday, but I don’t regret it. He deserved it… For taking you away from me. So once we are at the airport, I might drive you and that asshole back to HB to grab your stuff, but after that, I don’t want to see you anymore…” he said, finally looking at me.

“Is that an ultimatum? Like, it’s either you or Nate?” I asked, trying my best not to raise my voice. Something I should try to teach Adeline to do.

“I’m sorry Ellie…” said Matt, looking at me for a fraction of second before looking down at his lap.

It took a few seconds for this information to sink down. Matt was forcing me to make a choice. Either him or Nate. Matt was serious. The part when Matt told me he still loved me was thrown to the back of my mind as my hand reached out for the handle and I opened the door, getting out of the car.

“ELLIE!”

I ignored him, focused on one thing: the airport. I had to see Nate, I couldn’t let him go back to France. Because if he really wanted to go back, I’ll just take a taxi to go back to HB and grab my stuff, and probably ask my sister if she wanted to come with us.

Matt had to be joking. I couldn’t leave Nate for him, not like that… I had shared the last 5 years of my life with Nate, and he wanted me to throw it all down the drain just for him.

I kept on walking through the stopped cars, ignoring the weird looks I was getting, and ignoring Matt’s shouts. The airport was less than a mile away, I could make it.

I wrapped my arms around my middle, and quickened my pace. I had to see Nate.

As I was getting closer and closer to my destination, I realized that I was going to miss HB, I loved it here. And despised everything that had happened, I was glad to be back home.
I was so happy when I saw Matt and the guys in Vegas… Well okay, I was shocked first, but then I was happy. I had missed them, a lot. I had missed Jimmy’s crazy antics, Johnny’s shortness and Zacky’s attitude… And let’s not forget Adeline fighting with Brian, because even when they were still together, they were fighting. And Matt. I had missed him so much…

Without noticing it, I had slowed down.

Was I really ready to go back in France?

I bit my bottom lip.

With everything that happened here, it’s was clear that this was probably my last time here. Nate will never want to come back again.

Matt…

I could still hear him calling after me.

I sighed.

Nate or Matt.

I looked up around me, only to see that I had less than 1 mile until the airport. I was almost there.

Then it hit me all of a sudden.

I couldn’t leave.

I stopped.

I turned around and started walking back to Matt’s car. I could see him in the distance, standing by his car.

I started running.

“I can’t” was all I said before throwing myself into Matt’s arms. “I can’t leave you…” I whispered, nuzzling my face in his chest.