The Beauty of a Weeping Heart

It's a Saturday morning. So you think I would be having a lie in, never getting up before one right? Far from it. When I was thirteen, Gary had decided for “my own good” that I needed a job. A paper round. Every day, I get up at half six in the freezing cold to go to the local corner shop and deliver papers. I hated it and I hate it even now but it was much better than getting a beating.

I couldn't even escape my step father's wrath when I went to bed. I would toss and turn till I eventually fell off to sleep, with him haunting my dreams. He was the one that made my nightmares come to life.

Over the counter, Mrs Patel smiled at me. “Thank you very much Liana. I appreciate it.”

I shrugged. “It's no trouble.”

Of course it was trouble, it was such a chore. Hey, the Patels work hard and I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Her eyes brightened. “Well here's your money. Take care of yourself.”

I nodded, smiling back. I took the money and was on my way out when the door opened, creating a jangling sound. I looked up to see no other than my step sister Cass walk in. She brushed her long brown hair out of her eyes and grinned at me.

“Come over and give your sister a hug.”

I sighed and walked over to hug her. Yes, her dad may abuse me but she is the loveliest girl in the world. Sister. Not even step sister.That's how close we are. She lives with her Mum and her twin brothers Sammy and Jez.

“So what's up?” I asked her, after she finally released me. I love her hugs though because she always such soft clothes.

Cass rolled her eyes. “Jez was asking me about puberty. Don't even ask.”

I burst out laughing at her comment. Sure, I'm a shy person but once I'm with Cass, my shyness almost completely melts away and I can talk to her about anything.

“The usual Cass?” Ms Patel asked.

“Yup.” Cass replied in response. “Fags, crisps, the Observer, latest Vogue and Red Bull. Think that about covers it.”

I watched Cass pay at the counter. “Thanks Janki.”

I shook my head. I could never be as bold as she was, being on first name terms even if I have known the Patels for years. I gave Ms Patel a little wave as the two of us walked out of the shop. I don't know what I would do without Cass, she is literally my Soulmate. However, there is one thing I would never tell her. Even thinking about it now, I can tell how silly it would sound.

“Hey Cass, your dad abuses me. He hates me and hits me and stuff...”

What the fuck? How do you answer to that?

I would never tell anyone that secret because of the main emotion –Fear. I felt ashamed to admit but it was true. I'm terrified of Gary. I know I'm disgusting, people at school make it pretty clear. Also, where would I go? Sure, they'd lock Gary up but I'm pretty sure my mum would disown me. She's a dirty whore as it is, cheating on my dad like that. I'll never forgive her for hurting my dad.

“Liana?” Cass waved a hand in front of my face. “Don't zone out on me babes.”

“Yeah whatever.” I sighed. I leaned over to take a cigarette from her packet. I didn't smoke as much as Cass did, it was just every Saturday. From romantic and fantasy books I'd indulged in, I'd heard that some teenage girls cut themselves because they're so depressed. I think that's stupid, I mean if you're depressed and hurting, why would you want to hurt yourself more? I know cigarettes were killers but they helped me unwind and relax, feeling free from my step dad's wrath.

“Fuck, I can't find my lighter.” Cass muttered, rummaging around in her bag.

I snatched her bag and dug out her lighter, holding it triumphantly.

“Honestly, what would you do without me Cass?” I grinned.

She stuck her tongue out me and grabbing the lighter out of my hand and lit her cigarette. She sighed a sigh of relief and pleasure.

I tutted as I took the cigarette lighter from and her and lit my own cigarette. She smiled over at me.

“Oi let me see your phone.”

I froze, my heart almost stopping in my chest. “What did you just say?” praying that she hadn't asked what I thought she just asked.

“Oh just give it here.” Cass said impatiently.

Before I could utter a single word, she snatched my phone out of my pocket and switched it on. Without further ado, I attempted to grab it out of her hand but Cass was too quick, and held it out of my reach.

“Give it back!” I yelled.

Cass ignored me. “Ooo Sony Ericsson. You've got like 200 texts here and you say you're not popular.”

I gave up trying to get my phone back, knowing she would find it sooner or later. “I'm not.” I warned her.

Cass squealed. “Oh my gosh Kayla texted you! I need to read this....”

I sighed, closing my eyes waiting for the inevitable.

“Hey bitch you know that your well butterz and you'll never get a boyfriend so don't play hard to get.” Cass read aloud. She stopped and stared at me. “What...?”

I had enough. “I'll have it back now thank you.” I snapped. This time,she let me take my phone out of my grasp.

Cass put her hands on her hips. “Liana, Kayla's like my best mate and I've got to tell her...”

“You're not going to tell her anything.” I interrupted, the tears welling up inside my eyes. “What do you think it's like? People find my number and text me abuse. Not only Kayla but Jamie, Rowen, Damien and all the rest of the people who hate me.”

Cass went silent for a moment, obviously thinking it through. “Why don't you hang out with me then? Then they'll see what you're really like -”

“NO!” I yelled.”I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR PITY CASS!”

You could have heard a pin drop. The silence was awful, a dark black heavy cloud of silence that seemed to stretch on forever. The birds stopped chirping, the leaves stopped rustling, everything went quiet.

“I'm sorry.” Cass said quietly. “I didn't mean to be like this.”

I sighed. “Lets just go alright?”

Cass nodded. As we were walking off, I looked through the texts feeling hatred bubble inside of me. I scrolled through the texts and there were names I could put to most of them. However, there was one that caught my eye, it was by Unknown Sender. Curiously, I clicked on it. I felt my heart pound as I read the message inside.

Dear Liana, you're beautiful

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