The Beauty of a Weeping Heart

I shrank back as he loomed over me. With effortless ease, he lifted me in the air and threw me onto the bed. I lay there sobbing in my underwear, knowing that it was too late. I had crossed him too many times, so I was to be punished. I could feel my whole body aching, I wanted to scream but I just lay there, frozen to the spot.

He shook his head sneering at me. “You shouldn't have told anyone Liana. Now you're going to pay.”

As he advanced towards me, I finally found my voice and yelled.

“NO!”

I woke up in a sweat, breathing hard as if I'd just run a race. I sat there for a moment before running my fingers through my hair. It had seemed so real. Not for the first time, I felt desperately alone. I just wanted to tell someone but I couldn't, I'd get hurt so badly.

I sighed, knowing I couldn't do anything about it now. I looked at the clock and I realised it was time to get up. Since it was quite a warm day today, decided to wear a pair of skinnies, a slightly low cut black top and my jacket. I spent quite a while slapping moisturer onto my skin so that the bruises would fade away.

I just wished that the bruises would fade away from my mind....

I took a look at my reflection in the mirror and could think of only one word to describe it – Ugly. That's what I was, an ugly bitch who would never get a boyfriend. I brushed my hair and wore some green eyeliner to make me look at least remotely presentable.

“Liana! Get your ass down here!” Gary yelled.

He wouldn't dare say that if my mum had been at home but she had already left for work on an early shift. Sighing to myself, I joined my step father who was leaning against a wall. He leered at me looking me up and down.

He nodded satisfyingly. “Good. Make sure you grab a fruit before you go, bitch.”

Silently, I grabbed a banana and began to eat it., and although I wanted nothing more to yell at him, I held my tongue. Once I'd finished eating it, I calmly threw the banana skin in the bin and nearly walked out of the door before he stopped me in my tracks.

“Just remember.” He said softly. “I own you girl.”

“Yes sir.” I uttered tonelessly.

Slap.

A mingled look of shock and fear came into my eyes but I controlled it. He always hurt me when I least expected me or even when I did. He roared in laughter at my expression.

“Now go to school.” He commanded me.

This time, I walked out of the door, feeling a bubble of anger inside my stomach. I hated him so much, I couldn't wait till I was 18 so I could leave home. Leaving home at 16 wasn't an option for me. As long as I was in full time education, I had to stay at home. It wasn't as if I was anyone special or beautiful anyway.

Waiting at the bus stop, I thought about what that text said. Did someone actually think I was beautiful? I racked my brains trying to think of who would say such a thing. Stuff like this happened to people in romantic novels and yet it was happening to me. I tried not to think of the text, it was making me more confused than ever.

Getting on the bus, I found that pretty much all the seats were taken. Yet as I rocked with the bus, I felt someone's eyes on me. Turning around, I saw Jamie's head resting on Jonny's shoulder. Ever so often, she would kiss his neck but he didn't respond. He kept his eyes locked on me.

I felt my cheeks flush and I quickly averted my gaze. Why the hell was he staring at me for? Jamie was what every guy wanted. Gorgeous long brown hair, massive tits, big bum, too much makeup and clothes showing off every feature she wanted to reveal. In my mind? The definition of a Whore. The two of them had been going out for 5 months now, which was one hell of a long time. However, Jonny was pretty hot himself.

A mass of floppy dark brown hair, sparkling blue eyes, almost perfect skin...yeah you get the picture. I didn't particularly want to think about him now. Especially since he's got a girlfriend. Yes I know the one taboo of falling for someone – Never fall for someone who's taken. Well if you were in my position you would think differently...

“Cass remind me why I have to dress up again?” I sighed.

“Stop complaining child.” Cass giggled. “You look hot babes.”

I gave her a questionable look. “I look like a slut.”

This time it was Cass' turn to sigh. “You couldn't look like a slut even if you tried.”

I grinned. It was Cass' 17th 'Rock On Party and typical Cass wanted me dressed up for it. Dressing up wasn't really my thing as I normally just wore clothes to cover up the marks and bruises that Gary had left me. I was wearing a pink and black skull dress which showed off my legs. My hair was curled and I was wearing black eyeliner and glittery eyeshadow.

However, I was quite excited about this party. I'd had a crush on Jonny for a month now. Normally, I would be guarded against such feelings but hey, it's my first crush. Hopefully he'd be my first kiss as well.

As the guests started arriving, loud music was soon playing and as the alchohol started being steadily consumed, couples were making out like it was no tomorrow. It had at least been an hour now and while I had sipped a few glasses of wine, I was only tipsy. I wondered where Jonny was.

Suddenly I turned around, to see Jonny making his way towards me. He looked gorgeous with his cheeky grin. However, I could tell he was drunk. Boldly I met him half way.

“Jonny...?” I whispered.

Without a second to spare, he quickly grabbed my arm and took me upstairs. He looked deeply into my eyes.

“Do you like me Liana?”

I froze, my heart pounding. Did he know that I liked him? We had only talked a few times but I had no idea if had caught my glances directed towards him. I felt my heart melt at the intensity of his expression.

“Yes.” I breathed.

His smile widened and our lips met in a long but savoury kiss. Perfection.
“You're beautiful baby.” He whispered as he leant forward to kiss me a second time.

Jolting my thoughts back into the present, I remembered what a daze I had been in. He had called me Beautiful.

That was until he got together with Jamie.
I felt angry at myself, cheated of my first kiss, hated that it was so perfect. Of course he wouldn't like me like that, he had said so. However,ever since then he had ignored me. I was an ugly bitch and that is what I would always be.

Until today.

I looked up to see Jamie looking at me with disdain. Her features twisted into her familiar sneer.

“Urgh what you're looking at bitch?” She glared at me.

Bitch. That was the name I was so used to being called that I didn't even care any more. I could start a cat fight on the bus but that would be completely pointless. The one girl that you never mess with is Jamie and I had learnt that.

“Nothing.” I said quietly.

“Good, I thought so.”

Purposely bumping into me as the bus ground to a halt next to the school, she spotted some of her friends, leaving Jonny and I together alone. I desperately tried to stop my feelings returning to Jonny once more. Yes he was gorgeous and lovely but it would not help me one bit. It wasn't like I wasimportant anyway.

Without thinking but irritated with Jamie, I muttered under my breath. “ Stupid Whore.”

That remark made Jonny stop in his tracks.

Flashing me his trademark grin and effectively turning my knees to jelly, he whispered in my ear.

“Nice One.”

With that, he left me utterly dumbstruck.