I Wanna Run, But Only Far Enough To Make You Miss Me

(Jack’s POV)

We’d been sitting here in silence for over half an hour, neither one daring to make the first move. We I’d sat down Hanna hadn’t even looked up, just a quick glance to my shoes and she’d realised. We both swung slowly in unison letting the cold air fill up our lungs and blow our thoughts away.

“Hey Jack,” she said suddenly, stopping her swing and turning her beautiful head to face me. I stared solemnly at her stunning face, her mascara had run and her eyes were all puffy and red.

“H-h-hello,” I managed to stutter out dropping my eyes to the ground.

“Why are you here?” Hanna asked, cocking one eyebrow.

“I couldn’t sleep and decided to go for a walk, it brought me here,” I said gesturing to the kid’s playground.

She nodded slowly before going back to shifting the snow with her feet. I scratched the back of my head, racking my brain for something to say, something witty an intelligent or something that would make her laugh. The best I could come up with was,

“So, erm, how are you?”

She frowned slightly and began fiddling with a plain silver band around her middle finger.

“Five years and that’s the best you can up with?” she said, shaking her head.

I was taken aback by her response, it caught me off guard, but I guess it was stupid of me to believe that everything would go back to normal and suddenly the rage I had back at the restaurant, 3 months ago, was bubbling inside me.

“Well what did you want me to say? ‘Oh hey Han it’s great to see you. By the way thanks for telling me I have a four-year-old son. Oh and nice boyfriend, seems like you’ve created the perfect replacement, no don’t worry I’m fine with you dating one of my friends. No you haven’t cause me any pain and no I don’t cry myself to sleep every night and no my thought’s haven’t been plagued by you every moment of ever second of every fucking day for five goddamn whole years!” I shouted, jumping up from the swing and towering over her, my words cutting through her like a knife.

She started down at the ground, taking my harsh but true words in. When she finally lifted her head a small tear was slowing falling from her eye, the droplet of water glinting in the sunlight. She abruptly stood up and took a small step towards me, her eyes filling with anger and sadness.

“You know what Jack, I’m done, I’m done with fucking pretending that we’re cool and everything’s gonna work out just like the last times. I thought you of all people would have a better heart, a better heart to forgive, I’ve fucking forgiven you haven’t I? You slept with my best friend Jack, we’d been going out for a week and you couldn’t keep it in your pants! That hurt me more than you can ever imagine, you broke my heart, for months I was in pieces trying to understand why you’d do something that terrible, why you’d intentionally hurt me like that, what I did to disserve the humiliation. Then I got over you and began a new love but oh no you couldn’t have that so you fucking planned to take me away on tour, away from Colin. You manipulated me and made me fall head over heels for you for the second time and as usual I was too blinded by love that I didn’t see the consequences. But even after all of this I still cant get you out of my head, I’ve had five years Jack to move on and I can’t. Yer it was wrong for me to run from you and everyone, yes it was a big mistake I know that now but don’t you dare say that it didn’t cause me any pain and that I was happy throughout that whole time. To be honest with you I’ve never been so depressed, the only person keeping me going was Eric, every time I look at him I fell my heart burning with love, even if I couldn’t be with you at least some of you was alive in him.
When I saw you again at the restaurant my heart was beating out of my chest, five years Jack and still haven’t gotton over you, I know I never will. When you spat those words at me and screamed in to my face my heart broke, you’d moved on. So don’t go and fucking make me fell guilty about being with someone when you don’t care less, all I’m trying to do is get over you but you won’t even let me do that.
How many quick fucks did it take you to get over me? 2, 3, do you know how many it took me to get over you? None Jack because I’m still not over you, I look in to John’s eyes and I see how there no as beautiful as yours. I laugh at a joke he makes but it’s still not as funny as yours. And when we make love it doesn’t even compare to the one night I shared with you, nothing in the world will ever compare to that night because for me that was the best night of my life. I’ll never forget the way it felt when you held me in your arms, when you kissed me the way you breathed in to my hair and the way I shivered under you touch.
This is over, I do not love you anymore Jack!”

I stared blankly at her as she panted heavily, trying to catch her breath; her tears were free falling to the ground causing a small puddle in between our feet. Suddenly a small smirk cracked on to my face and I gently cupped her cheek stroking the tears away.

“You’re a horrible liar Hanna,” I smirked before grabbing her face forcefully between my hands so she had no escape. “I will never love anyone but you and until the day I die my heart will be yours, it always has been.”

With that I meshed our lips together entwining my fingers in her long hair. She struggled ever so slightly for a second but then she grabbed ferociously at my hair, yanking the strands out. I smiled into the kiss as our tongues fused together, the way they were meant to for eternity. My hands left her hair and roamed her body, just as I’d remembered it, I slowly traced small circles on the small of her back, lifting up her shirt and feeling her warm skin on my cool hands. She shivered at my touch before untangling her fingers from my hair and trailing them down my body before she reached the top of my pants. She slipped her hands under my t-shirt and gently stroked my bare skin, letting her fingers trail lower causing me to moan in pleasure as she bit my lip. Suddenly I slipped and fell back on to the snow, luckily the soft white powder broke my fall, with Hanna on top of me, giggling. I dragged her down so our lips were just millimetres apart before kissed her slowly letting our lips stay together in perfect harmony.

Five minutes ago I had nothing and now I had everything I’d ever dreamed of, there was just one more thing that would make my life complete, so against my better judgement I took the plunge and asked,

“Marry me?” I mumbled in to her mouth, freezing in silence for what seemed like an eternity before she beamed and planted thousands of kissed all over my face.

“I thought you’d never ask,”