I Wanna Run, But Only Far Enough To Make You Miss Me

(Alex’s POV)

The first leg of our tour had gone incredibly well, it was more that any of us had ever imagined. The fans were great and were as glad to see us as we were to them; apparently we hadn’t changed a bit. Still the same four crazy boys, well men really now all being 25, with tight jeans and colourful Dunks. To us they’d changed a lot, they still had window breaking screams and the enthusiasm of a puppy, but instead of the average age being about 15, it was now 20. It was nice to know that even after 5 years they still liked us, and listened to our music, it was a heart-warming thing knowing you’d influenced people’s lives.

Right now we were stopped in a quaint little Mexican restaurant in LA, we were doing 3 shows in the LA area. Every one was very tired; we’d been driving non-stop from Texas all night and we were all starving. Matt had seen this restaurant from the tour bus window and had immediately ordered the bus drier to stop, Matt sure did loved Mexican. I didn’t know why but the restaurant seemed oddly familiar, the vintage surf pictures on the wall got me racking my brain.

We’d all ordered and were impatiently waiting for our food to come, there were only so many microwaves dinners we could eat. I dazed out from the rest of the group, who were being loud and crazy, the usual really. I started people watching; somehow looking at different people from different backgrounds fascinated me. I liked imagining what they’d done in their life and what challenges they’d faced on the way.

At last our food arrived and we all tucked in, for once every one was quiet. I was watching the door, as two surfers walked in, looked worn out after a tiring day at the beach. They both had medium length shaggy brown, that was highlighted blonde by the sun, their skin was deep caramel obviously from tireless hours sitting out on their surfboards. They both reminded me a bit of Zack, he loved to surf and was always tanned, well more that the rest of us pale ghosts. Behind the two surfers was a short girl with long brown hair; she had a bright smile and big blue eyes. She was a typical Californian girl, short shorts, flip flops and a strappy top with a Hollywood smile but something seemed to be missing, behind her smile was a mind full of loss. After the girl ran a small boy, I’d guess about 6 or 7, with dark brown hair, brown eyes and a rather large, but sweet, nose. He had a mischievous smile that I recognized from somewhere and those eyes were so familiar.

“Guys, guys!” he sang to the other three in front of him, “I want enchiladas, lots and lots of them!”

“Slow down buddy,” the stockier of the two guys said, “lets see what your mom says,” the little boy pouted and crossed his arms, I’d defiantly seen that same expression before.

“So Han, can little Eric get a whole bunch of food, he’s had an insane day out on the waves!” the taller, skinnier and blonder of the two said.

I thought he was talking to the short girl before another person walked in. she had beautiful long blonde wavy hair and was medium height. She had an oversized hoodie on with the hood pulled up, covering her face. Underneath, like most girls around her, she was wearing short shorts, bright green ones. She turned around, with her back to our table and my eyes glanced to the words printed on the back of the shorts “GET LOW”, and the name of the back of her hoodie “RAINEY”. Her feet were placed in some Dunks; I smiled a shook my head believing my thoughts were too stupid to be true. That was before I heard her voice, the voice of an angel, a voice that would forever be imprinted in my mind.

“Oh fine,” she said whilst peeling off her hoodie, revealing an old glamour kills t-shirt underneath. It was mine. “I saw you on the waves, you were insane little man,” my sister said ruffling Eric’s head.

I took a sharp intake of breath and got up slowly from my seat. Cautiously I walked over to her, taking slow steps. Within a few seconds I was standing directly behind her, breathing in her scent and realizing how much I’d missed her.

(Hanna’s POV)

Standing at the bar of Colin’s favourite Mexican I smiled down at my son, seeing so much of Jack in him it was incredible. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me and was about turn round before I heard a voice that stopped me in my tracks, one that I only, these days, heard on my iPod.

“You left didn’t you
You left us all in your wake
We waited for your return but it didn’t come
Now it’s over we know you’re not coming back
We’ve come to terms and given you some slack

Five years gone by and I still miss you
I guess that we all do
I need to see that familiar face
I need you to make our lives fall back in to place
Just call out and I’ll hear you
I’m sure any of us would do too

But yet you left us but we’re still trying
Come back i swear I’m dying, without you”

His voice sang with such clarity and with such feeling, it left me breathless. I didn’t notice until I felt the salty solution running down my cheek, did I realize I was crying. I turned around to face my beautiful brother who, he himself was crying.

“Why’d you leave me?” Alex said before he grabbed me and engulfed my tired body in a humongous hug. I fell in to his arms and cried hysterically in to his shoulder. He still had the same scent, a mix of lemon and coconut, being in his arms felt like home. I’d missed Alex so much, but being so stubborn had never gone to see him. When he pulled away he smiled sadly down at me, before I looked over Alex’s shoulder. The view took my breath away, still with the same shaggy brown hair and peroxide blonde highlight. Still tremendously tall and skinny, and still with those eyes that could stop my heart and leave me breathless at his feet, Jack Barakat was still the man I loved.

(Jack’s POV)

I stared as Alex hugged her, the girl that I loved with all my heart, wanting so much to feel the warmth of her body against mine.

“Mommy, who’s he?” a little boy said from her side. He looked so familiar with his brown hair, big nose and wicked smile. It took a few moments before it clicked; the boy looked like a 5 year old version of me.

Without thinking I stood up and strode over to them, not realising that I wad fuelled with anger.

“Why did you leave?” I screamed at her, causing the whole restaurant to turn quiet, “you just left, we were so good that night. I would’ve been there for you; through it all but no you still left without a word. You left me to wonder for five years where you’d gone, if you were all right, and it tore me apart not knowing! How could you, how could you just leave me!?”

Hanna stood speechless and I didn’t realize that Alex had his hands firmly on my shoulders pulling me away from her.

“I’m sorry Jack,” she whispered not daring to look at me.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it anymore!” I spat venomously even though I knew I didn’t mean those words. I’d do anything to have her back but my anger took a hold and I couldn’t control myself.

“Mommy, who are they?” the small boy said, breaking the silence

Hanna didn’t answer him; she just stood there still shocked at my outburst.

Alex immediately kneeled down and enveloped the kid in a hug.

“I’m Alex, you’re uncle. Ah ha, I see were you get you good looks from” Alex smiled, “Me!” he yelled triumphantly.

“You look different from the pictures, you look older now,” Eric smiled touching Alex’s’ facial features with his small hand, before turning to me, “who are you?”

“I’m Jack,” I mumbled looking deep in to the boys deep brown eyes, the picture of his mother and uncles.

Eric took my hand, surprisingly, and dragged me down to his level, so I was kneeling on the ground.

He looked so much like Hanna, the resemblance was uncanny, but that hair, smile and nose were unmistakable, they were mine.

With one finger Eric traced down my bumpy nose and then down his own.

“We have the same nose,” he smiled triumphantly.

I heard every one take a short intake of breath; obviously realising.

“Hanna, Jack’s not...” Alex asked trailing off looking at his sister who was leaning in to one of the surfers, sniffling, as he stroked her luscious hair and planted small kisses on her forehead. A rush of jealously shot through my body, not liking the way he held her, as if she was his.

I suddenly stood up and turned on Hanna,
“How could you not tell me! After all we’ve been through, after everything that we’ve overcome you think it’s ok not to tell me that you were pregnant with my child. To deprive me of a son and him of a father.

“I was afraid, I didn’t find out until four months after you and I slept together and even then I didn’t know if he was yours.” She begged, “But after he was born, I could tell he was yours, through and through.”

“Afraid! Afraid of what me! You know full well I would’ve looked after both of you, I wouldn’t have run, I would’ve been proud to be having a child with you, it would’ve meant the world to me. Knowing that I was going to have a child with the girl I loved would’ve been amazing, prefect even.”

Suddenly the short girl she was with spoke, “Eric’s not Colin’s child?” she asked, her lips quivering.

I realised that I recognized her; she was Colin’s sister. I’d only met her a handful of times but I was sure it was her. Tess, I think her name was.

Hanna nodded sadly at the three of them. They all looked at her with shocked expressions.

“Why did you lie?” the taller of the two boys asked

“I wanted everyone to think there was a piece of Colin left here, I wanted to believe it too.” Those words stung, knowing that Hanna wished that Eric were Colin’s and not mine.

“I don’t care, he’s still the same boy, and the same boy we’ve looked after for five years. It makes no difference to me who the father is. Sure Hanna lied and that was wrong but Eric shouldn’t be treated any differently,” the bulkier of the two stated before picking my son up.

The other two, Tess and the tall boy sighed but nodded it agreement before going to hug little Eric who was staring at everyone, confused. I didn’t blame him as I was pretty confused my self.

“I’m sorry Johnny, Stephen, Tess,” Hanna sniffled looking at each in turn.

“It was wrong Han, but we still love you, nothing could change that,” Johnny said and pulled her in to a group hug.

There little happy family made my insides churn, two sets of couple’s and a kid, my kid, how lovely.

“I’ve got to get out of here,” I said before storming out of the restaurant, only Alex shouting my name. She didn’t chase me, not like I had when she’d ran.