I Wanna Run, But Only Far Enough To Make You Miss Me

(Jack’s POV)

“Today is the day
The worst day of my life
You're so content it hurts me
I don't know why
The cost of misery
Is at an all time high
I keep it hidden
Close to the surface in sight”

I quickly skipped over the track on my iPod, hating the way it made me think of Hanna, and what I was leaving behind. Goddamn Boy’s Like Girl’s! I started solemnly out of the window watching the palm trees whiz past, not feeling entirely comfortable about my surroundings. Soon I would be home, amongst the tall golden oak trees, their leaves falling off in preparation for winter. Up ahead I could see a huge looming sign that read “LAX departures”, and the realisation set in, I was leaving Hanna and my son. Luckily or unluckily, whichever way you looked at it, they were both coming to the airport to see us off, Hanna and Alex were very upset about not knowing when they were next going to see each other again.

Our tour bus pulled up on the sidewalk, luckily we would not have to ride it all the way home, our label had paid for our flights knowing how hard we’d worked on the tour, and how successful it had been, more than anyone could’ve imagined. Every single show had been sold out and we were welcomed back by each of our fans with open arms.

Running quickly out of the bus I grabbed my luggage and made my way to the terminal, shortly followed by the rest of my band mates and crew. There, waiting with a beautiful child in her arms stood Hanna, in all her glory. Her long brown legs seemed to glow, as did the rest of her perfect body; she was wearing some cut off denim shorts and a vintage Glamour Kills t-shirt.

“Hanna!” Alex screamed as he shot past me, his bags flying everywhere, knocking some unhappy travellers. She looked up and smiled warmly at her brother attempting to hug him with one arm but failed as he kissed her on the forehead, it was such a simply gesture, the display of a siblings affection. Jealously burned through me like a hot furnace, not that Hanna and Alex had ‘that’ kind of relationship, no way, just the fact that he could kiss her without thinking, and she didn’t think twice about it, I wish I could.

“Eric!!!!” Alex squealed with the same enthusiastic smile as he’d given Hanna and grabbed him out of her arms. “How’s my favourite nephew?”

“I’m your only nephew,” my son pouted while tracing the outline of Alex’s tattoo.

“Yer, but still, you’re my favourite and always will be!” Alex smiled proudly and kissed Eric’s head.

“Promise?” Eric said extending his little finger,

“Pinkie promise,” Alex said connecting both there little fingers in a mini hand shake.

“Alright, alright let us say goodbye to the little kid!” Ryan said reaching for Eric, who also extended his arms in Ryan’s direction. I hadn’t noticed that everyone had passed me and were now crowding around Hanna and Eric. I saw Nano and Delicious pull Hanna in to a bone-crushing hug nearly suffocating the poor girl, but she just laughed and kissed each of their cheeks.

Eric was being passed from person to person each saying their own personal goodbye and making him promise to make Hanna bring him to Maryland. He smiled at each request and nodded furiously, all the guys had fell in love with Eric so quickly, he was such a great kid, Hanna had raised him well. Being the stubborn idiot that I am I’d barley spent any time with my son, seeing as I’d basically stayed in the bus while everyone else was out at the beach or hanging out at the mall. In fact the only time I’d seen him since the night of the restaurant was last night, our last show. He’d seemed scared of me and always looked nervously in my direction, as if I was a time bomb about to go off. I guess I hadn’t given him the best impression at the restaurant, when I’d screamed at Hanna with such venom and anger.

“Flight 876 Baltimore, Maryland last call for boarding,” a mystery voice said over the intercom. I sighed heavily I lifted my bags from the floor, looking to the guys to see if we were going to head off. They were all running in a frenzy checking they had their passports and boarding cards, before saying their final goodbyes to my son and my love.

“This is it I guess sis,” Alex said in a wobbly voice, losing Hanna for five years had really taken its toll, on all of us.

“By big bro,” Hanna sniffled as both her and Eric clung of to him,

“Promise to come up to see everyone for Christmas,” he said kissing her forehead once more.

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try,” she smiled before picking Eric off the ground, were he was clinging on to his uncles leg.

“Come on Jack!” Matt shouted from the gate, waving frantically in my direction. I watched as Alex said his last goodbye to Hanna and headed for Matt who was still shouting at me.

I swore under my breath and silently walked up to the two most beautiful people in the world. Hanna saw me come and took a deep breath in, as if she was fighting the urge not to kill me, I grimaced.

“Goodbye Jackie,” she whispered and I smiled at the use of my old nickname,

“Hanna I lo...” it was on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed the words that I was meant to say.
“Goodbye” I said to both of them not daring to look in their eyes before I abruptly turned and headed for the gate.

I reached Alex who gave me a strange look, raising one of his eyebrows, I just shrugged and handed the stewardess my boarding pass. With one last look over my shoulder at my family I sighed deeply and headed home, back to the place I was sure of everything, away from this mess I’d created.