I Wanna Run, But Only Far Enough To Make You Miss Me

(Hanna’s POV)

I stepped out and heard the fresh fallen snow crunch under my ugg boots; they were the ugliest things alive but did the job and kept my feet warm. Luckily, at 7 in the morning, no one was awake so I easily slipped out of Alex and Rian’s house with anybody noticing. I just needed a few hours to myself to think. I’d been here for two days now and overall it had been really nice, being with Alex again had been so great. Although at times the awkwardness between Jack and I had been too hard to bear and everyone had noticed. We had yet to resolve the fighting match that went down, although it was mostly one-sided, months ago at the restaurant. I was however so happy at the new found relationship Jack and Eric had formed; the surprise show of affection had taken everyone aback. Jack was being a wonderful father, and him and Eric were like two peas in a pod, it seemed the four years of Eric’s life that Jack had missed out on was being made up for, and I was overjoyed.

I walked slowly down the driveway, attempting not to slip on the ice, before I turned and began walking down the sidewalk. I hoped I didn’t get lost, having never been to Maryland before I had yet to suss out were everything was. Yet I remember from a drive we took to a diner yesterday that there was a playground about 2 miles down this road so that was were I was headed. It was a funny thing but I always did my best thinking whilst sitting on a swing, I guess the wind blowing through my hair and the sense of freedom really helped my thoughts to wander. I hummed quietly along to my iPod, which was currently playing ‘I Miss You’ by Blink-182. It brought back memories of the night I had surprised All Time Low by flying out to LA to see them on tour. I’d surprised Alex and sung Remembering Sunday with him, being on that stage in front of al those people had been on the best feelings I’d ever had, once I’d gotton over my stage fright. But then after we’d finished the song Jack had surprised everyone by singing I Miss You to me, he’d sung his heart out to me and hundreds of other kids, I’d never forget the feeling it gave me. Now, though, I banished those thoughts and feelings I had to the back of my mind and bruised heart. I was perfectly happy now and my relationship with John was better that ever, the thoughts of Jack should not still be littering my head. I pressed the next button quickly but every song that came up reminded me of Jack in some way so I finally gave up and put on an old faithful, Britney Spears, probably the most retarded music I had but nevertheless you gotta love a bit of the southern girl. I smiled slightly as I mouthed the words to Toxic, that song always made me want to get up and dance. I quickened my pace, feeling the chill of the quiet breeze, and looked ahead to see the playground in the distance.

(Jack’s POV)

I couldn’t sleep. I’d been up since 5 this morning and however hard I tried, sleep would not smother me. It was now 7am as I slipped my feet in to my gold and black dunks before pulling on a warm Hurley coat that was lined with sheepskin, hopefully enough to keep out the cold winter breeze. I steeped out of my front door began walking with a furious pace let my mind wander.

The past two days had been great in some ways but others, not so much. My time spent with Eric was more than I could have ever asked for; I now could never imagine my life without my son in it. He was the one thing that was keeping me going, the one thing that was for sure and certain. It made me happy to know that Hanna welcomed the time Eric and I spent together, it made me feel closer to her. Although as hard as I tried I couldn’t get over the burning jealousy I felt went her and John’s hands entwined or, worse still, their lips connected. My heart felt as though it was being pummeled by a 20 tonne rock and being stabbed at relentlessly. However hard I tried, at times I could not control my emotions, and it had been the worst when I smashed a glass in front of everyone. I didn’t mean to do it but the sight of John whispering sweet nothings in to Hanna’s ear and her beautiful smile had caused me to grab my glass a little too tightly, causing it to smash in to a million tiny pieces, just like my heart funnily.

I looked up from the sidewalk to find that I had subconsciously walked to the old playground I used to go to as a kid and throughout my teenage years, when life wasn’t so complicated. I remember the nights I’d spent with my best friends here, lying in the grass watching the stars and dreaming of our bands future. I guess you could say our dreams had come true; the band had become big and successful, everything we’d wanted it to be. Although everything still wasn’t enough for me, my life wouldn’t be complete without Hanna by my side.

I slowed my pace as my favorite set of swings came in to view but as I grew nearer I noticed a figure gently swinging back and forth. Her long blond hair blew gently in the wind as her feet scuffed the ground whenever the swing gravitated back to earth. Her shoulders were slouched and her head bent foreword as if she was deep in thought. Hanna popped up everywhere, in my mind and now in reality. I contemplated on whether to turn around and head for home, forgetting about ever seeing her here. But the temptation was too great and I felt myself being pulled towards her, each step bringing me nearer to my one true love.

‘Fuck it’ I thought as I quickly sat down next to Hanna, on a swing, without a word.