Loving You Is Harder Than You Know
Chapter Five
Ryan's P.O.V
The rest of the day went by painfully slow, I didn't help that Brendon was not talking to me, anyways he had other things on his mind. Sure silent treatment does not bother me, but after a while it starts to hurt me. I get terribly frustrated when I'm trying to ask him things, or anything in general, and he just stands there with that intimating smirk on his lips. That's why I'm upstairs trying on the waiter outfit Brendon bought from me, as he says from the kindness of his own heart. But I know he bought it to make an utter fool out of me.
I'm guessing some of the guests have already arrived due to the laughing and numerous conversation talking place downstairs. I jump slightly when a sudden blast of music enters the atmosphere, the heavy beat seams to hammer into my chest. I'm trying to stay calm but with the music penetrating my ear drums and this outrageous outfit, I'm finding it pretty difficult to keep the steam from poring out of my ears. I quickly run a finger through my messy locks and sadly make my way downstairs to serve drinks to yet more people poisoned by Brendon's fake stories and lies.
I uncomfortably mess with my bow tie, and stuff my shirt into my shiny black trousers, when I approach the bottom of the stairs I see a drinks tray with glasses placed upon it. Obviously I have to carry the tray around with a fake smile plastered on my face so much it hurts. I shakily pour liver destroying liquid, known as alcohol, into the glasses and pick up the tray reluctantly. I mean I could go hide up in my sanctuary right now, you see me and the wardrobe have become great friends. But if Brendon finds me, I'm pretty sure I wont be waking up tomorrow.
Walking into the main room, I groan when every pair of eager eyes are drawn to me, causing my cheeks to flush pink. Some snigger, others are dumbstruck, Brendon well lets say Brendon found this highly amusing. I walk over to Brendon first, I stand beside him, trying to keep my head held high, but my once oozing confidence has slowly disappeared like sand through my fingers. I see dirtiness cloud his eyes and that's when I realize he's getting horny or just craving sex, per usual. I mean what the hell is seductive about a tacky waiters outfit!
He can be such a strange boy at times.
Instead of getting something sexual rammed into my from Brendon I shuffle over to Gabe. I suppose you could class me and Gabe as casual friends, nothing more. He is stood with Pete I think, I have only seen him once or twice the first time was when he had his tongue down Brendons throat but its a long story. They both take a glass from the tray and nod at me graciously I try to smile back but I can't force myself to show one once of kindness towards Pete.
"So Ry, why did you stop answering my calls," Gabe asks curiously, he raises at eyebrow at me, at an instant causing the tray in my hand to rattle due to every bone in my body starting to shake. This is where I have to lie, I hate lying but that's doesn't mean I don't.
"You know Brendon, he is always taking me out,"I try to say without letting sweat drip down my forehead or stutter uncomfortably. I don't know if they believe me, but I'm praying to god that they did.
Lies. Brendon has banned me from touching the phone.
"So how are things going with you and Brendon," he questions, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest and my breathing quicken. Just talking about Brendon seems to cause me endless hurt and heartache.
"Never been better," I mange to force out, between gritted teeth, I take a glass from the tray and drink it down quickly, savoring the feeling of the burning sensation in the back of my throat. I never drink after watching Brendon constantly drink himself to nothing, it put me off letting the terrible substance pass my lips. But I just felt like drinking could calm me right now, or make me at least a little out of it.
Lies. Mine and Brendons relationship has never been worse.
"I'm going to go see Patrick," I excuse myself and dump the tray of drinks on a nearby table. Its getting seriously hot in here, and I'm starting to feel slightly sick. Maybe drinking that alcohol so quickly wasn't the best of my ideas. I lean against the table trying to take in deep breaths and hold my throbbing head, its feels like my brain is going to crack through my skull.
Brendon is stood near me, a group of his friends are surrounding him all drinking. I thought I would be a good idea to listen into there conversation seeing as I want to know what Brendon has been feeding to all them, has he been telling them I'm the best boyfriend on this planet or the little shit who constantly annoys the hell out of him.
"The stupid idiot fell down the stairs, he probably did it for attention."
"I mean the bed wetting, how old does he think he is three!"
"Oh and who could forget that bear he sleeps with, he can't go to sleep with Mr.Cuddles!"
The whole crowd of people around him burst into laughter, some even have tears rolling down their cheeks. I try to keep the hurt from attacking my insides, but I can already feel the tender part holding my heart together breaking apart. I try to hold back the tears in my eyes, but it hurts so badly. I quickly push past people not giving a damn about who I'm shoving and run up the stairs I supposedly feel down for attention.
I run into my bedroom, its dark and cold perfect for the way I am feeling, my bed is hard and uncomfortable so I don't throw myself onto it and sob into my pillow. Instead I curl up in a ball, deep in the corner of my room, I let the hot tears roll freely down my cheeks, and hug my knees rocking backwards and forth. The pain is the worst I have experienced in my life, and nobody can fix a broken heart. Nobody.
But I see a shadow in the doorway, Immediately I snap my eye shut and try to block everything out, if its Brendon coming in then I doomed for sure. My heart beat seems to become restless, the blood powerfully flowing through my veins. The footsteps become closer, each step equals a quicker breath, faster pump of the heart. Slowly I raise my head and see the most beautiful boy stood over me. The pale moonlight is shimmering through the curtains and is reflecting on his face. His brown hair is swept over his eyes, he looks like an angel.
"Hey kid, what's wrong," they ask, there voice seems to sooth me, reduce my heartbeat, calm me down. I don't even know who this guy is but something about him is so magical.
"I'm not a child, I'm twenty two and Id rather not talk about it," I manage to say between heartfelt sobs, I feel so stupid for crying in front of him, but there is no stopping me when my banks decide to burst, the tears just never seem to end.
I expect him to say something but instead I see him crouching down beside me and drape a long arm around my skinny frame. I tense up from his touch, but when he starts to stroke my arm gently, I relax and gently rest my head on his shoulder. But it all gets too much and I end up sobbing into his chest, letting him wrap his arms around me and whisper words of comfort in my ear. It just feels so good to be comforted, loved...
"Hey,hey don't cry, your spoiling your pretty face."
Did he just call me pretty...
The rest of the day went by painfully slow, I didn't help that Brendon was not talking to me, anyways he had other things on his mind. Sure silent treatment does not bother me, but after a while it starts to hurt me. I get terribly frustrated when I'm trying to ask him things, or anything in general, and he just stands there with that intimating smirk on his lips. That's why I'm upstairs trying on the waiter outfit Brendon bought from me, as he says from the kindness of his own heart. But I know he bought it to make an utter fool out of me.
I'm guessing some of the guests have already arrived due to the laughing and numerous conversation talking place downstairs. I jump slightly when a sudden blast of music enters the atmosphere, the heavy beat seams to hammer into my chest. I'm trying to stay calm but with the music penetrating my ear drums and this outrageous outfit, I'm finding it pretty difficult to keep the steam from poring out of my ears. I quickly run a finger through my messy locks and sadly make my way downstairs to serve drinks to yet more people poisoned by Brendon's fake stories and lies.
I uncomfortably mess with my bow tie, and stuff my shirt into my shiny black trousers, when I approach the bottom of the stairs I see a drinks tray with glasses placed upon it. Obviously I have to carry the tray around with a fake smile plastered on my face so much it hurts. I shakily pour liver destroying liquid, known as alcohol, into the glasses and pick up the tray reluctantly. I mean I could go hide up in my sanctuary right now, you see me and the wardrobe have become great friends. But if Brendon finds me, I'm pretty sure I wont be waking up tomorrow.
Walking into the main room, I groan when every pair of eager eyes are drawn to me, causing my cheeks to flush pink. Some snigger, others are dumbstruck, Brendon well lets say Brendon found this highly amusing. I walk over to Brendon first, I stand beside him, trying to keep my head held high, but my once oozing confidence has slowly disappeared like sand through my fingers. I see dirtiness cloud his eyes and that's when I realize he's getting horny or just craving sex, per usual. I mean what the hell is seductive about a tacky waiters outfit!
He can be such a strange boy at times.
Instead of getting something sexual rammed into my from Brendon I shuffle over to Gabe. I suppose you could class me and Gabe as casual friends, nothing more. He is stood with Pete I think, I have only seen him once or twice the first time was when he had his tongue down Brendons throat but its a long story. They both take a glass from the tray and nod at me graciously I try to smile back but I can't force myself to show one once of kindness towards Pete.
"So Ry, why did you stop answering my calls," Gabe asks curiously, he raises at eyebrow at me, at an instant causing the tray in my hand to rattle due to every bone in my body starting to shake. This is where I have to lie, I hate lying but that's doesn't mean I don't.
"You know Brendon, he is always taking me out,"I try to say without letting sweat drip down my forehead or stutter uncomfortably. I don't know if they believe me, but I'm praying to god that they did.
Lies. Brendon has banned me from touching the phone.
"So how are things going with you and Brendon," he questions, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest and my breathing quicken. Just talking about Brendon seems to cause me endless hurt and heartache.
"Never been better," I mange to force out, between gritted teeth, I take a glass from the tray and drink it down quickly, savoring the feeling of the burning sensation in the back of my throat. I never drink after watching Brendon constantly drink himself to nothing, it put me off letting the terrible substance pass my lips. But I just felt like drinking could calm me right now, or make me at least a little out of it.
Lies. Mine and Brendons relationship has never been worse.
"I'm going to go see Patrick," I excuse myself and dump the tray of drinks on a nearby table. Its getting seriously hot in here, and I'm starting to feel slightly sick. Maybe drinking that alcohol so quickly wasn't the best of my ideas. I lean against the table trying to take in deep breaths and hold my throbbing head, its feels like my brain is going to crack through my skull.
Brendon is stood near me, a group of his friends are surrounding him all drinking. I thought I would be a good idea to listen into there conversation seeing as I want to know what Brendon has been feeding to all them, has he been telling them I'm the best boyfriend on this planet or the little shit who constantly annoys the hell out of him.
"The stupid idiot fell down the stairs, he probably did it for attention."
"I mean the bed wetting, how old does he think he is three!"
"Oh and who could forget that bear he sleeps with, he can't go to sleep with Mr.Cuddles!"
The whole crowd of people around him burst into laughter, some even have tears rolling down their cheeks. I try to keep the hurt from attacking my insides, but I can already feel the tender part holding my heart together breaking apart. I try to hold back the tears in my eyes, but it hurts so badly. I quickly push past people not giving a damn about who I'm shoving and run up the stairs I supposedly feel down for attention.
I run into my bedroom, its dark and cold perfect for the way I am feeling, my bed is hard and uncomfortable so I don't throw myself onto it and sob into my pillow. Instead I curl up in a ball, deep in the corner of my room, I let the hot tears roll freely down my cheeks, and hug my knees rocking backwards and forth. The pain is the worst I have experienced in my life, and nobody can fix a broken heart. Nobody.
But I see a shadow in the doorway, Immediately I snap my eye shut and try to block everything out, if its Brendon coming in then I doomed for sure. My heart beat seems to become restless, the blood powerfully flowing through my veins. The footsteps become closer, each step equals a quicker breath, faster pump of the heart. Slowly I raise my head and see the most beautiful boy stood over me. The pale moonlight is shimmering through the curtains and is reflecting on his face. His brown hair is swept over his eyes, he looks like an angel.
"Hey kid, what's wrong," they ask, there voice seems to sooth me, reduce my heartbeat, calm me down. I don't even know who this guy is but something about him is so magical.
"I'm not a child, I'm twenty two and Id rather not talk about it," I manage to say between heartfelt sobs, I feel so stupid for crying in front of him, but there is no stopping me when my banks decide to burst, the tears just never seem to end.
I expect him to say something but instead I see him crouching down beside me and drape a long arm around my skinny frame. I tense up from his touch, but when he starts to stroke my arm gently, I relax and gently rest my head on his shoulder. But it all gets too much and I end up sobbing into his chest, letting him wrap his arms around me and whisper words of comfort in my ear. It just feels so good to be comforted, loved...
"Hey,hey don't cry, your spoiling your pretty face."
Did he just call me pretty...