Scandalous Scholastics

Heaven is not happy when she gets the office memo about the pep rally. So, during the actual assembly she climbs under the bleachers and runs right smack into Gerard.

"Gerard?" she asks, "What are you doing under here?"

"Hiding," he takes a swig of whiskey straight from a bottle and makes a face, "I hate these things."

"Oh come on," Heaven smiles, "Where's your school spirit?"

"Rah-fucking-rah," Gerard mutters, cheers toward the floor and takes another slug, "What are you doing under here?"

"Hiding," Heaven says, "The last pep assembly I went to I was covered in peanut butter and feathers. And Tarra got suspended for breaking the head cheerleader's nose. Hey, you should share that."

Gerard passes the bottle and she takes a swig before passing it back. The pep rally is really starting to look up.

By the end of the pep rally Heaven and Gerard are plastered to each other, the empty fifth of whiskey lying at their feet. Heaven bites at Gerard's lips, the metal of the bleacher digging into her back. She pulls away, and Gerard sucks on her collar bone. It feels alot like high school in this moment, and she reaches for his belt buckle, tugging at it.

"Fuck yes," she says happily, and that's when Gerard stumbles away, dropping her to her feet and putting distance between them.

"This is wrong," Gerard says, confused, rubbing his neck.

"Damn it, Gerard," Heaven complains, frowning down at her toes, "God, you're such an asshole."

"Wait, what?" Gerard frowns, "What did I do?"

"Not me," Heaven snaps, stalking off. She really wants to kick Gerard in the head right now. Really.

The assembly is over now, and Heaven stalks out to her car in irritation. A harrassed looking Sarah is rubbing her wrists and looking around in a daze.

"Where were you?" Heaven asks, and Sarah shakes her head, "Trust me, you don't wanna know."

Heaven is not going to dispute that fact.

|____|

Heaven has taken to stalking the basement door. She's a little worried about when Alex is going to make his move. The down side to this is that she now knows way too much about who goes down there and who doesn't come up. She eventually enlists Dirty's help.

Dirty is one of the three security guards who works the school. He is usually seen walking the hallways either without a shirt on, his buttcrack hanging out or wearing his regulation uniform with the sleeves cutoff and unbuttoned with no undershirt. Pete will attack him with jump ropes and impromptu dodge ball contests in the middle of the hall.

Heaven gives Dirty a My Little Pony walkie talkie she bought from Kmart and waves her's in his face. She holds up pictures of Alex, Rian, Jack and Haylee.

"These are your tarkets," she says, waving the pictures, "If they come within three feet of this basement door you are to call me immediately. Do not let them pass, stall if you must. And do not fail me, Agent Dirt, or there will be severe consequences."

"What sort of consequences?" Dirty narrows his eyes at her.

"There will be no beer at the next house party," Heaven says, and Dirty gasps, clutching his heart.

He salutes her, "I will do my very best. I have duct tape." He hitches his pants up, looks around for the perfect hiding place before climbing from a water fountain to the top of the lockers. He gives her a thumbs up and sits cross legged, out of sight, on top of the lockers. Smiling at a job well done, Heaven tucks the talkie into her back pocket and walks away.

She stops by the office on her way back to the office. Sarah is digging through her tongue depressor with a serious look on her face so Heaven just continues on the way. Last time Sarah had that look she sent half the school home with strep throat. A fourth of the school returned the next day with a clean bill of health, and Heaven really doesn't want to get sent home without a good reason.

In the main office the phones are ringing off the hook. William, of course, isn't there to answer the phones. He's been in the basement with Gabe and Travis, who made his tuesday delivery (carrots, celery, and potatoes), since nine o' three that morning. Heaven is a little curious about what goes on in the basement, but she's not going to go down there. Not unless she gets a little more desperate for a little happy naked time.

She answers the phones a few times, connecting the callers with Tarra and Patrick in turn. Then she skips off to Ryan's class. She pokes her head in and waves at Ross, before sliding fully into the class where the students are repeating french nouns in a studied monotone voice.
She does not laugh, because Ryan doesn't realize his whole class is making fun of him.

"Hi there," she waves, leaning back against Ryan's desk, "I'm Heaven Hayward, the school counselor. You can call me Ms. Hayward, Ms. H, or Hizz Hay. But I probably won't answer to the last one. I'm here to talk to you about foreign language.
Now, as you all know, you must have atleast two years of foreign language to graduate. But there are various scholarships available for those of you who take three and four years of the same language. Good luck to all of you, and when it comes time for your college related issues, please come see me. Alright, bye."

She pushes out the door, leaving the stunned students behind and trails her fingers down the lockers, heading back to her office. Twenty minutes later Tarra's voice echoes over the My Little Pony walkie talkie.

"Why does Dirty say that it's your fault he's been tackling kids from the top of the lockers all morning?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Heaven sends back over, because yeah, thanks Dirty.

"I'm coming to your office," Tarra says in irritation, and Heaven jumps to her feet, grabs her bag and runs for the door.

Tarra is standing there, holding the pink walkie talkie in one hand, and Dirty's ear in the other, "Now, tell me why Dirty has been dive bombing kids all morning."

"Dirty!" Heaven whines, "You saw the kids' pictures!"

"I forgot what they look like," Dirty shrugs, "I drink alot, what do you want from me?"

"Oh for god's sake, someone tell me what's going on!" Tarra shouts.

"Well, there's this student, and I think he's going to try to figure out what goes on in the basement," Heaven says, "And Dirty was watching the door for me. Just in case he, you know, tries to sneak down there with a few friends."

"What!" Tarra yelps, "Students cannot go down in the basement. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen!" She pulls her own walkie talker out, "Worm, we got a possible Code Three!" She starts out of the office, stops, and turns back to Heaven, pointing, "You're cleaning the scuff marks off the top of the lockers."

"But Dirty was the one who climbed the locker!" Heaven whines, pointing.

|___|

Heaven and Gerard stare awkwardly at each other in her office. It's Pete's turns to get lunch and Heaven has a suspicion they're eating pizza. They always eat pizza when it's Pete's turn to pick the food.

"Um," Gerard says, and rubs at the back of his neck.

"Whatever," Heaven rolls her eyes at him and sits as far away from him as she can.

Tarra gives her a look from where she's perched next to Joe's side, and Heaven just shrugs and mouths "later". Tarra nods her understanding, and Pete walks through the door with a stack of pizzas and a two liter of Coke tucked under an arm.

"SG-1 bitches," he bounces on his toes and sets the pizza down. They swarm the food, starving, and start the show. Heaven does not sneak glances at Gerard because she's not quite that pathetic, but it's a close call.

During the last period of the day the fire alarm goes off and it's suddenly noisy with people screaming and evacuating the building. When the whole school is evacuated on the front lawn and the football field the firefighters finally show up.

Tarra is yelling at the firefighter in charge about their less than prompt arrival. When the guy storms away she glares at Joe, and starts yelling at him.

"How did a yeast experiment explode!" she shouts, wraps her hand through his fro and yanks.

Joe flails and shouts, "Ouch ouch, I didn't do it on purpose."

Tarra smacks him on the back of the head and marches off, "Your lab privileges are suspended."

"But--"

"Suspended!" Tarra shouts to the sky, arms spread wide.