Homecoming

Billie Joe flopped on the once made bed, face first. "That's it." he said into the thick comforter. "That's all the presents. No more. Done. Fifty trips up and down the stairs and into all closets everywhere. All for a fucking overflowing tree. Oh my God."

"Stop whining, it's not that bad." Adrienne, Billie Joe's wife of eleven years, patted him on the behind as she breezed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. "And don't go to sleep, we still have one more present to do."

"What?" Billie Joe's face came out of the downy blanket. "What in the Hell,"

"It's for you." Adrienne said lightly as she pattered barefooted on the tile floor of the bathroom.

"Oh, well in that case, I don't mind." He rolled completely on the bed and propped himself up on the elbows.

"I'm sure you don't."

Billie Joe turned his head as he noticed the lights go off in the bathroom and the door squeak open. His eyebrows hiked up and the corners of his mouth twitched in a grin as Adrienne stood before him in a red and black lace slip nightgown. "Oh, Merry fucking Christmas to me."

Adrienne sauntered towards him and gently bit her tongue. "Have you been a good boy this year?"

"Uh, uh." Billie Joe shook his head and his grin became wider as Adrienne propped her body on his. "I have not."

"Aw," Adrienne poked her lip out. "That's too bad. You'll have to get a lump of coal in your stocking. Oh, you all ready have some." She giggled as she kissed her husband while his hands crept underneath the lacy material.

Their kisses became deeper as her hands began to tug at the shirt he wore. Billie Joe broke the kiss long enough to discard the shirt and continue again. "I love you." He murmured to her softly as her body effected his with every move she made.

"Me too." She replied as she gasped when he moved his lower body upward. "Wait, wait." She held him down.

"What?" Worry shot across Billie Joe's face as Adrienne's lustful look became one of confusion and concern.

"Shhh." She pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. "I thought I heard something."

"If their out of bed I swear I will kick their little butts." Billie Joe said, referring to their two young sons, Joey and Jakob who could be anxious for Christmas morning.

"No, no. It wasn't that. Well, not like that." She crawled off of him and put on her robe. "I'll be right back."

Billie Joe groaned and flopped back onto the bed roughly. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire... ugh. Hurry up Adie." He tapped his fingers silently on the comforter. He bit his tongue as he waited longer and began to bob his toes a bit in impatience as he was forced to wait longer.</p>

Billie Joe's face twisted into an aggravated look just as Adrienne came through the door. "I don't know what that was. It wasn't the boys." She laid back down on the bed. "Aww, I'm sorry darling, that was naughty of me." She kissed his pursed lips until he responded, which didn't take very long.

Billie Joe's hands went to her hair and he tangled his fingers in the dark mass as he began to roll on top of her and put a knee between her legs.

"Did you hear it?" Again, Adrienne broke the fevered kisses. "Billie, you heard it didn't you?"

"Heard what?" Billie Joe didn't bother to hide his frustration.

"That scratching noise."

Billie Joe hung his head and moaned. "No, I didn't. Just ignore it, it's not anything. Okay?" He tried to kiss her neck but stopped when he heard the scratching noise. "No."

"But Billie Joe It could be someone trying to break in. Go see what it is." Adrienne sat up and rejected his attempted romantic passes.

"All right, all right. I'll go look." He reluctantly got out of bed and stalked into the living room, stood silently, and waited for the noise to start again. When he heard nothing unusual, he shook his head again and went back into the bedroom. "I didn't hear or see anything weird. It's nothing Adie, don't worry about it. Worry about me and how damn blue-balled I am at the moment because of that fucking imaginary noise."

"Uh!" Adrienne huffed and crossed her arms. Her head turned away from him and she crossed her legs, refusing him access everywhere.

"What do you want me to do?" Billie Joe said a little louder than necessary. "There's nothing there!" He waved his arm to the silent doorway."No, you know what? Fine. You be like that." He got under the covers. "Go find a dildo if you want some."

"Can I borrow yours?" She snapped as she pulled the covers over her own body.

"When Tre's done with it."

The couple rolled to where they were not facing one another and laid in stony silence.

Scratch, scrath.

"Billie?"

"No, it's just your imagination Adie, ignore it." However, Billie Joe's ears were tuned to finding the source of the scratching.

"No, dear," Adie said sarcastically, "You have all the damn cover." She yanked at the sheets that were well plugged beneath Billie Joe's body.

"What? I do not." He pulled back.

Adie let out a growl of frustration. "You do." She pulled even harder.

"Not." Billie Joe gave a mighty tug and pulled Adrienne on top of him. "There. I wi..."

Scratch, scratch.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Adrienne, now forced to being next to Billie Joe, turned so she wasn't facing him and put an arm under the pillow.

"That scr..."

"Ah, hah! You little liar! You heard it the whole time." Adrienne sat up and glared at him.

"No, no. I did not. I just heard it, okay." Billie Joe got out of the bed. "I'm going to go see what it is."

"Gee, wonder where you got that idea." Adrienne muttered under her breath as she, too, got out of the bed to find out what was making the elusive noise. She stood in the dark living room with him for a moment before the silence began to irk her. "Oh, this is stupid." She turned on a lamp.

"Adie," Billie Joe hissed as the light filled the room.

"What? At least now we can see what the Hell we're looking for." She turned on another lamp, the light glistened off the shiny bows and wrappings of the presents under the tree. "See, I all ready found it."

Adrienne bent underneath the tree and pulled out a whining gray kitten. "Awwm shhhhh sweetie. Ouch, don't scratch me." She held the animal close to her chest and walked back over to her disgruntled husband. "See baby, it was a little kitten who somehow managed to get into the house."

"Humph." Was all Billie Joe could muster to say.

"Don't be mean to it." Adrienne shrieked softly as the kitten began to purr in her hands. "It didn't do anything to you."

"Bullshit. Because of that damn cat, I don't get any pussy tonight. Fuck it, I'm going to bed."

"Billie." Adrienne laughed as she followed him back into the bedroom.

"No." Billie Joe climbed into the bed, rolled on his stomach and did his best to ignore Adrienne, who had crawled in the other side and had her hands on his bare stomach, and began to push down.

"Don't even go there." Billie Joe pushed her hands away but they were instead replaced with her lips on his neck, kissing and nibbling up to his ear. "Bitch." He breathed as her hands went back to their original position, her mouth went to his, and Billie Joe rolled back over to receive all of her giving gifts. "Ahh, owwww!"

Billie Joe jerked up and shook his hand. That small gray kitten stood, with its haunches raised, hissing at him. The cat had clawed his hand. "You stupid little..."

"Billie Joe, stop." Adrienne held out a hand to the kitten and it began to purr and rub on her hand lovingly. "He's just being protective. Pet him, let him know you're a good one."

"A good one what?"

"Just do it."

Billie Joe grudgingly put his hand out and attempted to pet the cat, but it began to growl. He jerked his hand back and looked at his wife. "Not happening."

"Well neither is your pussy."

Billie Joe's tone became sugary sweet. "Here kitty, kitty. What a sweet little ball of shit you are."

"Billie!" Adrienne hit him on the shoulder.

"I was only playing. Look," He nodded to the cat, who began to respond positively to his touch. "It worked."

"Awww." Adrienne fought a yawn. "We better get some sleep. The boys will be up in a couple of hours and we've got a full day ahead of us." She kissed his cheek. "Night baby." She then rolled over and promptly fell asleep, leaving Billie Joe in a sexually charged, shocked stupor.