The Unattainable

3 days later

Ami’s POV

Okay, so I’m really excited about tonight, the guys are all dedicating the show to me, ‘cause it’s my 21st birthday!
I thought that was so sweet of them, but they said since we couldn’t start partying early, they had to.
I’ve been getting along with them all so well, but I know that will change so, so much when they find out I’m dating Joey.
Speaking of Joey, I haven’t seen him today, and the guys don’t know where he is either. I haven’t been able to see him too much over the past few days and, as yet, I’m sure for the rest of the tour. We decided that we couldn’t make it obvious if we don’t want to get split up by the guys. But we can pretend to be good friends at some point, right?
This is tougher than I’d thought. It’s harder than hiding it at the beginning, because, well, we were in a huge house then, with loads of rooms, but here, we have three tour busses, that’s it, and as everyone knows, you can’t hide on a bus. Plus, we all switch busses every few days, so that you’re not stuck with the same group of 3 or 4 all tour, because that could drive you crazy, plus, if some people are in a 3, and others in a 4, you get that ‘but that‘s not fair, they have more space’ argument. You know the one.
We switch tonight, as a matter of fact. I really hope at some point I get put in with Joey, Reag and Corey, or at least Joey and someone who knows about us.
Then at least, while on the bus, we wouldn’t have to hide quite so much. I mean, If we go into the bunk room, and ask the other two to keep a lookout for anyone running onto the bus, and yell a warning, then at any rate, I could at least talk to and pretend to know my bloody boyfriend! A kiss or two wouldn’t hurt, either. I miss just being able to sit next to him and have a long talk, that would look a little odd if we did that in front of the other guys.
Oh, and another annoying thing. Joey and Corey asked me to say that I’ve got a boyfriend back home, [who isn’t him] just so that if Joey and I seem a little close at any point, he can be like ‘She has a boyfriend,’ or something like that. It also means that if they see any guys trying to hit on me, they tell them to back the fuck off.
And then there’s that one thing, that thing that has upset me more than anything. Joey is saying that he’s dating someone, but she couldn’t come on tour, so she’s not here.
I’m sure I feel the same way that Joey did when I told the guys that I had a boyfriend back home, but at least we’d discussed that. Joey had accidentally blurted out to the guys that they could stop taking the piss as he had a girlfriend, and that was his cover up. Which we hadn’t discussed. So then I had to quickly let Rea know about his slip before they asked her.
He was supposed to say he was still single, as us both going out with people who we mysteriously never called or really spoke about might be considered as odd.
But then I’d suggested that if we were on different busses, we could call each other, under the pretence of calling our girl/boyfriends.
So we could just have a normal conversation, right? No, since we had to talk about our time on tour, et c. in case someone was listening in, meaning we could never have a real conversation,. The only bit I looked forward to was hearing his voice and him saying ‘I Love You’.
Oh, and I’d come up with something when they asked about my boyfriend. My best guy friend Jareth. He was a bit of a Joey ‘wannabe’ in the looks department, so he was pretty stunning, but he knew everything about me, and we used to date, so he was perfect. I had plenty of pictures of him, and well, I could always give him a quick ring to fill him in if need be. He would totally understand.

God, I’m going crazy!
This whole scenario is just mad! Seriously. But I know I’d be worse being away from him.
I just wish I could have all of my friends here, for my birthday, though. It’s my 21st, and while spending it with the guys will be amazing, I still wish they could be here too.

I’m going to see if I can find Rea, she might know the bus lists.

Joey’s POV

I’ve been avoiding Ami today, because I’ve got a surprise for her
And I don’t want to blow it. Plus, I want to give her her present when all of the guys are out of the way.
That. And I’ve been thinking.
Would she be better off if she wasn’t dating me? All of this would be so much easier for he. She’d be here as Rea’s friend, meeting her idols, having a laugh, not worrying about what would happen if we were found out. I feel so bad about this sometimes, it’s like I’m trapping her, somehow.
And is it so wrong that I feel stupidly jealous of that Jareth guy?
He’d be able to give her everything I can’t. he’d be able to see her all the time, not always be away on tour, he wouldn’t have to hide his relationship with her from his friends, there’s not a big age gap, he’d make her happy.
I know she says that I’m the best thing that ever happened to her, but I can’t help but think what if I’m the worst?
I don’t want to say this to her right now, and ruin her birthday, but I want her to know that even though she most definitely is the best think to happen to me, that if she decides she can’t handle being with me anymore, she can leave. I don’t want her to feel pressured into this.
But still, I know what she’ll say, she’ll shout, she’ll get upset, and tell me she’d never leave.
I hope she doesn’t, and I know it’s selfish of me, yet, I want to be with her more than anything. Is that too much to ask?
I love her, and I know she loves me, but I feel guilty every time I have to lie and say I’m not with her, that’s what’s making me think all this, making me think she’d be better without me.
I’ll talk to her some other time, I’m sure it will be fine.
But that surprise, oh I can’t wait, she’ll be so happy!
Oh, and I should go and find Rea, she might have the new bus list.

Reagan’s POV

So I’ve got the new bus list, right?
And Ami, Corey and my dad have a bus together, and I’m with Jim, Shawn, and Sid, although Mick said he’ll probably stay too, to keep the others under control, so that should be, ehm, entertaining?
Well, at least dad and Ami will finally have some privacy! I mean, they’ve not even been allowed to talk much so far, and it’s killing them, it’s just unfair!
I wish that the guys would be understanding about it when they finally found out, I mean, if I can accept it, why can’t they? I mean, my best friend and my dad, shouldn’t I be the one to freak out?
It’s pissing me off seriously, because I know who’ll blow a fuse, Shawn, most definitely, and actually, everyone but Jim, and most likely Mick. Because they won’t understand.
But I want them to, when they find out. I’ll explain, I’ll make them understand, I have to, for their sake… and mine.

Ami’s POV

I walk to Rea’s bus, eager to find out whether I’m with her, Joey or Corey tonight! I haven’t been with any of them yet, and sure, Jim, Shawn and Chris are lovely, but I want to spend time with the people I love!
I reach Rea’s bus to find someone’s already beaten me there, and I tap him on the shoulder with a grin
“Trying to find out the bus list, are we?” I say, laughing at him as he finally responds to the sound of my voice, rather than the tap, god, he’s out of it!
“Yes, actually,” comes his response, “I’m with you and Cor, tonight! I finally get to send some time with you,” he grins, looking around quickly before pulling me in to a brief hug, “Happy birthday, Ami, I love you,” he whispers softly in to my ear, and I fight back the urge to kiss him
“I love you too,” I whisper back, and turn away from each other, waiting to see Rea, I’m anxious to see her, excited, and wondering how she’ll embarrass me this year, with her annual, lets try and embarrass Ami on her birthday scheme.
Last year, she’d managed to stick posters of me all through town, on seemingly every street light, building, shop window, everywhere; and the picture was none too flattering, I can tell you that! It had been from a party about 2 weeks previously, and I’d been pulling stupid faces at the camera, trust her to pick the worst picture she had of me! All through the day, people had been coming in to my work to say happy birthday, resulting in my boss sending me to the stock room and out of the way, as it was annoying him or something.
She’ll have to top it this year, but god knows how!
Maybe she’ll embarrass me during the show. That would be awful!

Reagan’s POV

I have the best idea ever!
I asked the band, and they were fine with it, too, in fact they wondered why they hadn’t come up with something similar.
I’ve pinned a photo of Ami to all of their boiler suits, and made paper cut out masks (with enough elastic to go over their real masks) for the encore. This will be so funny, and it totally tops last year!
I’m also getting Corey to shout ‘Happy Birthday’ to her!
She’ll be so mad, but so happy! I can’t wait.
Now, to finish pinning this all together…

Joey’s POV

I’ve got my surprise sorted. I’ve asked Jareth to come to the show, as well as some of her other friends from back in Iowa. It’ll be great!
I’ve got her present, too. I had it custom made, and I really hope she likes it.
Corey’s decided to play Vermillion, parts I and II for the encore, which is completely dedicated to Ami, as, according to Rea, they’re 2 of her favourites.
I’m excited about tonight, although at the same time, I’m gutted that Ami will have to pretend she’s going out with Jareth for the evening. It’s for the best, though, I suppose. I have to made sure this, me, is what Ami really wants. So I’m killing two birds with one stone, I guess.
I’m still selfishly hoping she will choose me, but it needs to be her own informed decision.
I’m seriously hyped up about the bus list change, too. I’m sharing with Ami and Corey! What could be more perfect, especially on her birthday? I’m pretty sure at least part of it is Corey’s doing.
Thank God we don’t have a show tomorrow, because we’re all taking Ami out to celebrate her birthday. I think Ami’s going to ‘have a headache’ or ‘feel sick’ so we can spent at least part of the evening together. I hate having to hide this, but I can see the reasoning behind it all. This tour couldn’t have come at a worse time.