My Fair Lady

"Jakob, cheer up," Joey said as he poured himself another glass of liquor.
"I'm fine," Jakob insisted and continued to brood in his chair and play with a party favor, not really partaking in the New Year's party being held at their house.
"No you're not." Joey sat down next to his brother. "You're sulking because Chloe's not here. She'll be back on the third, only a couple of days away. She's only been gone two days, you know." Joey pointed out as the two brothers watched the party from their seats.
"I know," Jakob responded dully as he began to twirl a beer cap in his fingers. "I just wish she was here and not in Boston. She's been acting weird lately."
"Like how?"
"Like." Jakob sat up a bit in his chair. "I don't know, it's like she's keeping a secret from me and she doesn't want me to find out about it."

Joey patted his younger brother on the arm. "Don't think like that. Everything is fine. The holidays are stressful on everyone and she has that Arts Council production coming up so she's probably getting worried about that. It's fine. Hey, look." He pointed to the doorway where the Armstrong's neighbors, the ones Billie Joe had been battling with, stood. "This'll get interesting."
"Carl, Maggie, come in." Adrienne came in and played a lovely part of hostess to her two new, unexpected guests.
"Sorry we just barged in like this Adrienne, but it just sounded so fun and we didn't have any other thing to go to. We brought you some wine." Carl handed Adrienne an expensive bottle of wine.
"Oh, how nice. Put your purse and things in here." She pointed to the little sideroom where coats and bags were put. She looked at her two sons and gave them a look that said 'distract your father '.

"Come on, you've got something to do now." Joey and Jakob went into the living room, that was filled with the kind of people the cashmere covered neighbors wouldn't think about socializing with, and looked for Billie Joe. It wasn't hard to find Billie Joe as he was on the couch with several other family friends, playing the guitar and singing random songs. Jakob and Joey started to make their way over there when something came streaking by and hopped onto the coffee table where pairs of feet, Billie Joe's included, rested.
"What the fuck is that?" The feet shot off of the table and Billie Joe stood up, his face not one of comfort or joy.
"Aw, that's Mickey, our new pet. Isn't he sweet?" Maggie the neighbor came into the room and swept up the creature into her arms and began to coo at it.
"It's a damn rat." Billie Joe pointed out as he jaw became more and more set and rigid.
"No, it's a large breed of arctic mouse. It's quite harmless." She stroked the mouse some more as her husband came into the room and put an arm on her shoulder.

"Is there a problem Billie Joe?" he asked in a cordial voice.
"Fuck yeah there's a problem. You brought a damn rat into my house. I don't appreciate it and you better just get it out now before I pull the rat traps out." Billie Joe's eyes blazed a bright green.
"Now that is uncalled for Billie Joe. Mickey hasn't done anything wrong to you..."
"Except spreading the bubonic plague..."
"And neither have I."
"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa." Billie Joe held up a hand to silence Carl. "I'm throwing the bullshit flag on that one. You haven't done anything? Shut up Mike, I won't shut up," he yelled over his shoulder. "You fucking sprayed me with toxic bug spray, you terrorized my dog with your's, then it uprooted my yard, you busted my fence, your company comes and parks all down the street so I can't get into my own damn driveway, your grand-kid spray painted my driveway, which I had to clean by the way, and now you've brought a damn rat into my house and that is it. And if I find one damn piece of rat shit in my drink, Mickey's going down the toilet."

"I have never in the fifteen years we have lived here endured such rude remarks," Maggie shrieked as she pulled her husband towards the door.
"Big shit. We've lived here for twenty some-ide years. Stay a couple more and you'll hear a whole lot worse," Billie Joe yelled after them as they crossed to the door.
"We will be reporting this." Carl's final word sounded before the slamming of the door silenced him.
"Go ahead," Billie Joe shouted at the door as people began to mumble about what had just happened around him. "I'll give you something to report." He darted up the stairs.
"Did he just do that?" Adrienne had appeared next to Jakob and Joey, her hands were covering her face in a mortified manner. Her voice was muffled by her palms but the moaning had escaped around them.
"Yeah," Jakob answered simply as people began to move about the room in a normal way, as if the incident had never happened. Adrienne shook her head.
"I married an idiot."

Jakob laughed and put an arm around his mother's shoulders. "And you reproduced with him. I feel bad for Joey, at least I have a different father, even though we have no idea who he is."
"Jakob." Adrienne playfully hit his stomach at his remark. "That right there proves to me that you are none other than Billie Joe Armstrong's son. That's all the proof we need. That and DNA."

After a few minutes, soft music began to float from outside, up high. The crowd began to filter out to find Billie Joe atop the roof, wearing only socks and shoes, playing a jazzy tune on the saxophone. The tune was the New Years classic 'Auld Lange Syne' with a more jazzed up, blues feel. "Look at that. In his forties, fixing to be a grandfather and still looking good in the nude. Adie, you're fucking lucky." Tre' lifted his glass to Adrienne and took a hardy sip. Adrienne said nothing, but laughed at her husband as sirens began to wail down the street. They were probably coming for Billie Joe.
"Yeah," she said to Tre'. "I'm lucky, I love him, and I want to trade him off sometimes. But you have to admit, life is never boring married to him... No!" She screamed viciously. "He's smoking!"

True to her words, a cigarette dangled from Billie Joe's fingers and he paused to take a puff and inhaled luxuriously before he exhaled blissfully. "Damn fine nicotine," was heard from his lips. Jakob stepped away from the crowd a bit, it was getting warm standing in the middle and stopped when his eyes met the driveway. Chloe stood there, in a silky yellow dress, paying a taxi driver. She shouldered her purse and rolled her luggage bag along as she started for the front door, when her eyes met Jakob's. A grin broke out in front of her face as she ran to him and Jakob swept her up in his arms.
"What are you doing here?" he breathed when they broke their long kiss.
"I flew in from Boston. I didn't want to be away from you any longer. I left my family's party to come here. I missed you," she admitted before she took a deep breath. "And I love you." Jakob grinned and kissed her.
"God, I love you too." He kissed her, yet again. "I've missed you like hell, don't leave again." He kissed her firmly again.
"Excuse me, sir?" Jakob and Chloe broke their kiss to see the local policeman. "Where is the owner of his house? We've received complaints about their behavior."
"Oh, he's up there." Jakob pointed nonchalantly to the roof where Billie Joe had started up another tune at the crowd's request. He patted the officer on the shoulder. "Happy New Year." And pulled Chloe into the house.