My Fair Lady

"Oh, God I want to die " Jakob practically crawled into the house after a crude soccer practice. His body was sore and his head was pounding with a headache. It had been several weeks since his argument with Frankito and the silence between them had remained chilly. It really bothered Jakob that he and his best friend weren't talking over the potential possibility of dating the same girl.

The smell of Alfredo sauce greeted his nostrils as he scrapped through the kitchen. His socked feet still managed to make little patting noises on the tiled floor. He noticed pasta and sauce on the stove, the oven on and a salad half-way prepared on the counter. Something was going on.

Before he reached the living room, he voiced his concerns. "There's food. Who died?" Just as he turned the corner into the room where the television was playing softly and people were talking.

"Nobody died smart ass. The favorite son came over."

Jakob pursed his lips and flipped his older brother, Joey, off. "I knew they loved you more than me." He fell on the floor in front of the fireplace. "Hey, Amy." He lifted his arm in a weak greeting.

"Hey, Jakob." Amy, Joey's fiancee, greeted back. Amy was a hair and makeup stylist for a large salon in Oakland while Joey was a graphic designer. "Bad day?"

Jakob simply groaned in response.

"What happened?" Adrienne laughed lightly as Jakob whimpered in a pathetic manner like a dog.

"Well, we were at practice and it was going fine until some cocky-ass freshman smarted off to Coach Dupont and Coach made us all do football suicides with freaking tires strapped behind us. He comes from, like, Porkskin, Arkansas where they do crazy crap like that." He looked up at Amy and told her that bit of information. "That and the fact that the freshman won't get kicked off the team because his dad is the Dean and all. Freshman aren't even supposed to be on Varsity anyways." He muttered.

"You were." Billie Joe pointed out from his perch on the chair.

"Yeah, but that was different. I started out on JV and I got moved up because I was good, not because my dad was someone well connected or important to the school."

"Jakob, go get cleaned up for dinner. You smell." Adrienne said as she got up to finish preparing dinner.

"I do not " Jakob sniffed. "Okay, so I do. I'll be back in a few minutes."

***

Jakob came back downstairs with his hair still wet and fresh clothes on. The tantalizing smell of the food tingled in his nostrils as his stomach growled hungrily. He eagerly grabbed a plate and piled food on.

"Uh, Dad, why are there speakers in the backyard?" Joey pointed his fork towards the two large speakers in the backyard that were visible through the glass door.

Billie Joe shrugged. "Just listening to some potential bands." He mixed the salad a bit before he put some on his plate.

"Yeah, but you've always done that in your office or the bathroom for better acoustics and sound and all." Joey seemed very confused by his father's peculiar behavior.

"Well, there's just something about the open air that just makes things sound different. Don't worry about it." Billie Joe's lips were pursed together.

"Dad's been harassing the neighbors with loud music." Jakob informed Joey as he put some Parmesan on his pasta.

"I have not." Billie Joe told Joey as Joey's mouth dropped open in humor and surprise. "Tick for tack, that's all."

"What?" Joey put a hand on his hip and the other on the counter and watched his father.

"Your Dad's mad because they accidentally sprayed him with bug spray a few weeks ago." Adrienne explained as she sat down at the table.

Billie Joe threw a breakstick on his plate. "It was no accident. That little fuck meant to do it. Why else would he spray that shit in the air, over the fence? There was no tree or anything there. Nothing but air, our yard and me. He meant to do it and I mean to pay him back ten fold. And for your information, it was no spray. It was a damn shower."

Joey said nothing but sat next to Amy and shook his head.

As everybody sat down to eat, Billie Joe brought out a bottle of wine and began pouring it in everyone's glasses until Amy voiced her regrets.

"No wine for me. Thanks Billie Joe." She lifted her glass of water. "I'll just stick to this."

Billie Joe gave her a curious look. "Oh. All right." He pulled the tipped bottle more vertical. It was a normal tradition in the Armstrong house to have wine when a good meal was served and Amy was never one to refuse it before. "Is there something going on?" He sat down at his seat, never taking his stare away from his oldest son and his fiancee.

Joey and Amy exchanged a glance and seemed to have a silent conversation with that one look. "It's up to you." He told her as he held her hand in his. "They're gonna find out sooner or later."

"Okay." Amy nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Jakob stopped chewing his breadstick. Adrienne paused mid-sip of her wine. Billie Joe just continued to stare.

They were all in shock.

"Wow." Jakob said thickly around the bread. "Congratulations. Oh, awesome. I'm gonna be an uncle and you two," He pointed at his parents. "Are going to be grandparents. Sweet "

"Oh my God. This is great. Congratulations." Adrienne leaned over and hugged and kissed both Joey and Amy. "How far along are you?"

"About two months." Joey answered as he glowed with Amy. "We're due in March. What do you think Dad?"

"Uh," Billie Joe cleared his throat. "I think it's great. Congratulations." He hugged both Joey and Amy. "Have you told your parents yet?" He asked Amy.

"Not yet." Amy said as she gave a guilty look. "I know they aren't going to like it. My mom still thinks I'm a virgin and she wanted me to wear the white dress with real purity and all."

"Oh." Adrienne brought everyone's attention her way and continued in a teasing manner. "And you couldn't wait just a few more months before you did this? That way you won't be showing at the wedding in December."

Amy took a deep breath. "I know." She took Joey's hand. "We just really need your support on this because I have a feeling I'm about to loose a lot of my parent's when I tell them."

"Hey," Billie Joe leaned over and put his hand over their intertwined ones. "We love you and we support you in whatever choice you make. I think this is great. I really do. It's not like you guys aren't settled and don't have jobs or whatever. You've lived together for the past six months, you both have good jobs and you have a family who loves and backs you up. We're here for you."

"Absolutely." Adrienne put her hands on the growing pile. "And I'm going to be a fabulous Grandma "