My Fair Lady

"Mom? Dad?" Jakob walked into the kitchen, kicking his cleats off as he went, Chloe holding his hand behind him. It had been about three weeks since the Halloween party and he and Chloe had been inseparable. Adrienne and Billie Joe had been bugging him constantly to bring her over so they could meet her.

"Mom?"

"I'm in here " Adrienne's voice wafted from the living room.

Jakob brought Chloe into the living room where his mother was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, her glasses halfway down her nose, doing paperwork for Adeline. "Mom, this is Chloe."

"Oh," Adrienne quickly took off her glasses and stood off of the floor. "Hi. I'm Adrienne. It's so nice to finally meet you." She gave Chloe a small hug. "We were wondering if we were ever going to meet you."

"Mom, it's only been three weeks." Jakob muttered embarrassed.

"Well I know, but I was still wondering." Adrienne smiled and pulled Jakob and Chloe to the couch.

"Where's Dad?" Jakob asked when he noticed the silence of the room.

"Sulking in his office. I caught him smoking." Adrienne put several pieces of paper in a folder. "And if I smell smoke coming from that room, he is going to wish he never picked up a cigarette to begin with. The doctor told him to either quit or die an early death and dammit, he's going to quit whether he wants to die or not."

Chloe laughed nervously as Jakob pulled her off the couch. "I'm going to introduce Chloe to Dad. We'll be back."

"Are you staying for dinner Chloe?" Adrienne asked as she twisted her upper body so she could see them.

"Um," Chloe started nervously.

"Will there be actual food?" Jakob shot back, and eyebrow quirked up at his mother.

Adrienne shrugged. "We'll go out. You have to come Chloe."

"Um, okay." Chloe managed to say as Jakob pulled her down the hall.

Jakob stopped at a door and knocked on it. When they heard a muffled response, Jakob led her inside. They found Billie Joe behind his desk, his foot bobbing rapidly, his lips twisted into a scowl as a finger tapped on his desk as he tapped a pencil on a piece of paper.

Jakob, trying not to laugh at the picture his father created broke the tapping cadence. "Dad, this is Chloe. Chloe, this is my Dad, Billie Joe."

At that moment, the tapping stopped and Billie Joe looked up with curious eyes as his expression melted into one of utter charm. "So this is the infamous Chloe Moss. We finally get to meet you."

Chloe laughed as Jakob rolled his eyes and folded his arms. "It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

"Since you're with Jakob, I'm sure you have." Billie Joe gave Jakob a look that Jakob responded to by rolling his eyes again. "So, Chloe are you staying for dinner?"

"Um, well, your wife's all ready invited me."

"Good. We'll probably go out since we don't cook all that much around here. And if that's the case, Jakob, you need to take a shower." Billie Joe nodded to his son.

"Yes, I know. I just got back from lacrosse practice. I smell. I know." Jakob sighed over dramatically.

"Yeah, you do." Chloe shot back playfully.

"All right now," Jakob warned as he nudged her with his body. "I'm gonna go shower." He leaned closer to Chloe. "If he tries to bite, just cry 'Smoke!' and he'll back away."

"Jakob, I gave you life and I can take it away at any moment." Billie Joe reminded him as he pulled Chloe into his office and Jakob went to shower. "Now, I hear you're into music,"

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Jakob came bounding down the steps in fresh clothes and cologne. "Where's Chloe?" He asked Adrienne when he didn't see her anywhere.

"She hasn't come out of the office with your father. But I think I know what they're doing." Adrienne walked over to where her youngest was.

"What?"

"Making little musical babies."

"Mom." Jakob growled. "That's just gross. Ew." He rubbed his hands over his face.

"They're just doing some vocal stuff. It sounds really good. Get your thong out of a knot." Adrienne laughed as Billie Joe and Chloe came into the living room. Billie Joe was grinning from ear to ear.

"We ready? Let's go." Billie Joe pulled Jakob behind the girls and said in a soft voice, "You've got yourself a good one there. Don't let her go."

------------*-------------

"Smoking or non-smoking?" The hostess at the restaurant asked Billie Joe, who was standing before the rest.

"Sm.."

"Non." Adrienne butted in quickly. She glared at her husband and pushed him behind the hostess who was going to seat them. "Remember your promise. No smoking."

"Yeah, yeah." Billie Joe grumbled as Jakob and Chloe laughed lightly behind them. "Shit. Why'd we have to sit in non-smoking? Can't we at least sit up with the smokers so I can at least be pleasant and not around...." Billie Joe saw who was sitting at a nearby table and scowled.

The rest of the party's eyes followed his line of vision to a man sitting with his wife drinking glasses of wine.

"Billie," Adrienne sighed as the menus were laid out before them. "For the last time, he didn't mean to spray you with bug toxin and he didn't purposely let his dog in our backyard to terrorize Corn-chip. Drop it."

"Yes he did. I'm still smelling like a beetle, Corn-chip is my fourteen year old dog and he won't even go outside anymore for fear of getting eaten by that monster he calls a mutt, and I will not drop it. He called war and I will not surrender." Billie Joe turned to the waiting waitress. "I'll have a glass of the Pinot Grigio, please."

"The same." Adrienne turned back to Billie Joe as Jakob and Chloe set their drink orders. "Do you know who you just sounded like?"

"Who?"

Adrienne cocked her lip and made her accent slow and thick. "Good ole' Dubya."

"I ought to divorce you right now for that comment." Billie Joe glared at his wife. "How dare you? Hush," He held up a hand to silence her laughter. "I want to look at my menu and decide what I want to eat."

After their meal was delivered and devoured and more wine was poured, the Armstrongs and Chloe leaned back in their chairs and simply socialized warmly.

"Oh yeah, Billie, don't forget about that Arts Council thing this weekend." Adrienne said as they got up to go pay the tab.

"What Arts Council thing?" Chloe asked, curious.

"Oh, just some little gala-like thing for the Arts Council around here. We're just gonna sit around and look at each other and try to out snob one another. But, I think we got a new Head so it may be different, I hope so. I've avoided the last couple of them."

"Charles Moss, maybe?" Chloe's head was titled back looking at Billie Joe.

"Yeah, that's the new Head guys. You know hi..... that's your dad isn't it." They all got into the car as Billie Joe cranked up the engine.

"Yeah. It'll probably still be boring. I have to sing at it."

"Oh, well then I have to go. You have a great voice. Doesn't she Jakob?" Billie Joe gave his son a look in the rearview mirror.

"Uh..."

"Jakob's never heard me sing." Chloe interjected, saving Jakob. She took his hand and gave him a little smile.

"Oh, well, you're missing out Jake. Your girl has one hell of a voice." Billie Joe beamed.

Jakob's eyes slid to Chloe's. "So I've heard."