My Heart Says That I Just Can't Quit

Later that night, the fans ended up having to deal with not seeing Thomas or Jayk at the meet and greet. Thomas was moping in the green room -- he locked it and ignored every attempt for us to try to talk to him -- and Jayk was nowhere to be found. He probably went for a long walk, but he never answers his phone so there's no way to tell when we're going to be able to leave this place.

Devin on the other hand was putting on a smile for everyone and pretending everything was just right in her world. I felt bad for her, really, and I wanted to ask how Jayk found out, but I thought it was better to let things be for a while.

We were standing behind the guys' autograph table with the rest of the staff and cracking quiet jokes about each insane fan that came screaming toward the table. One of the times the girl actually fainted; paramedics said she'd been too lightheaded from screeching at the start of the show to the moment right before she fell. Another one was wearing a MARRY ME THOMAS shirt; Devin cringed at his name and the girl, finding that Thomas wasn't there, quickly left the table pouting. When the third Thomas-related shirt showed up at the table, Devin decided she'd had enough and told me she was going to nap in the truck.

After the last of the line cleared up, the boys plus Kelly and I went back out to the cars.

"Anyone want to risk calling Jayk again?" Drew asked upon arrival.

Everyone shifted nervously; David, Kelly, Bobby, Drew, and I were huddled in a tight circle while Thomas -- who took forever to coax out of that room -- stood outside of it next to the VFC mobile. When no one said anything I raised my phone, "I'll give it a try."

Two rings passed and I was redirected to his voicemail. Ignored, of course, just like the three other times I volunteered to call him.

"Forget it, he hates all of us," I said, pushing my phone back down to the bottom of my pocket.

Drew jumped in the stillness and we all quickly turned our heads to stare. He picked out the vibrating phone from his pocket and answered it warily. "Hello?"

We all waited anxiously for Drew to say something; in the meantime, we all leaned in to try and pick up something the caller was saying.

Drew nodded. "Alright; Charlie, Jayk said stop calling him, he's coming."

He couldn't have just told me that himself? What? Was I the enemy now?

Everyone sighed in unison. While we waited for Jayk to return, the guys and Kelly separated from me and went inside the van. Devin was wide awake when I met her again in the cab of my truck. It made me wonder how long she had been awake; beating herself up over something that could've been escaped through unconsciousness if only for a few hours.

"I really screwed things up," she said once Jayk rounded the corner of the building and hurriedly jumped into the van.

I nodded, not really sure of what to say to a friend in this situation and quietly followed their van while she vented.

"I mean, you were right. I shouldn't have done that with Thomas. Should've just quit everything with Jayk and then when everything had calmed down, go for Thomas," she rambled, gradually directing her thoughts to no one in particular. "Should'a, could'a, would'a… But didn't…"

Again, I nodded. "So… How'd he even find out -- if you don't mind me asking?"

She stared through the windshield absentmindedly and answered as if she was an outsider looking into someone else's miserable life. "He just guessed. I said 'I think we need a break, indefinitely' and then he ran to conclusions and I didn't have anything left in me to lie to him again…"

I stopped her before she could really think anymore about this. "Okay, okay. I get it. Well… I'm sure this will all blow over soon," I attempted to comfort her, finding that I was only giving Devin false hope.

We drove the rest of the way to the hotel in silence, we checked into the room in silence, and we sat in silence anticipating for the other to think of something to do.

After a while, I just grew tired of the quiet atmosphere. "How about we have a girls' night in," I suggested forcefully enough to make it sound like an order.

Devin gradually turned her head to look at me. She had no words, but I took that as an agreement. Eagerly, I called room service, ordering their sweetest treats just for Dev, and then found the perfect TV soap opera for us to mock endlessly. We were about ten minutes into the episode when there was a knock at the door and we started off our Varsity rehab session.

"You're a bitch!" I yelled, taking my gun-pointed fingers and "shot" a hysterical Devin straight in the chest. I then proceeded to run over to her and stab the same spot with my imaginary knife like the crazed, jealous wife of the cheating husband did to his secret lover.

Well into my fifth stab, Devin broke from her laughter in time to tell me there was another rapping at the door. "You're way too good at acting like them," she added, pointing to the TV while she ripped herself away from her chocolate cake to get the door.

I followed closely behind, worried about who would show up on the other side. Devin twisted the handle and pulled the wooden door aside with no hesitation whatsoever. I was surprised to see it was just a staff member from the hotel.

"Excuse me," he said, "but I'm here to tell you and other guests of the hotel about an earthquake we will be experiencing tonight. Do not worry when it goes into effect, just stay in your room and make sure to keep your heads covered. Keep away from anything that shows possibility of falling or causing you injury. Thank you and have a safe night."

Devin reciprocated the "thank you" and closed the door. "Natural disaster," she shouted suddenly very thrilled, "I'm actually kind of excited."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Say that again when you're trapped under the dresser."

We returned to our program and sweets and it remained that way till about an hour or so after the guy had left. That's when the shaking had begun. I was in the middle of chugging a chocolate milkshake (as a dare) and all of a sudden the liquid started to slosh out of the diner-style glass and all the lights when out along with every other plug-in appliance.

"Yes!" Devin screamed happily, diving under the oak desk in the corner of the room, completely abandoning the black nail polish she was glazing over her toes.

I followed suit -- a brain freeze coming on -- and crawled into the small space Devin had allowed next to her. A short few seconds later there was frantic pounding on our door.

"Charlie? Devin? Open up!"

I immediately recognized the voice as belonging to David, but judging from the amount of hammering on the wood, he had company. Compelled by my extreme longing for David, I braved the -- what seemed like -- mile stretch from our hiding place to the front. I struggled to keep my balance and stumbled into many things we had laid out in the room, but I made it to the door in one piece and wrenched the thing open. David instantly enveloped me into his arms and dragged us back into the room and down to the ground.

"Before you say anything, Kelly went for a walk two hours ago," he answered the obvious question in my mind (I honestly don't know why I cared so much about where Kelly was and what she was doing). "Are you okay?"

I nodded, my skin creating friction against his. He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back in a lulling fashion despite how jittery his hand was from the earthquake. "Killer brain freeze though. Who else did you come with?" I asked.

"Thomas."

I smiled. So it took a natural disaster to make things right again. Soon, the quake ended. There was no damage to the room other than a few chocolate messes and Devin and I were obviously doing fine. Though David's reason for visiting was no longer valid -- that I knew of anyway -- he kept me in his arms and we hadn't moved an inch since he got here.

So obviously David had feelings for me. That's the kind of thinking that led me to this next question: "Why are you still with her?"

He kissed me on the forehead again and pulled his head back to look at me. My expression was curious, not at all mad, maybe a little sorrow, but he looked at me as if I just punched him in the gut. Before he responded he returned to his spot on top of my head and whispered, "I'm wondering the same thing."

Somehow, that didn't make me mad, or sad, but definitely not happy either. I just nuzzled deeper into his neck and he could probably feel my heartbeat quickening when I muttered, "I love you."

David exhaled; I couldn't tell if it was pained or relieved. Even if he did or didn't feel my heart racing, I for sure felt his speed up, so when he didn't echo those three little words, I was still assured he felt the same way. That was all I could ask for at this point.

"Are you guys okay?" Thomas asked out of the blue, causing me to twitch a little; that made David laugh.

"Yeah man, we're cool," David answered as he resumed running his palm up and down my spine. "I don't think the room is though."

I looked up and around. There was chocolate everywhere. Chocolate frosting, chocolate fondue fountain stuff, chocolate milkshake, you name it. The funny part about it is that most of those stains were there even before the quake started.

"I'm not sleeping in here tonight," I declared, my eyes fixed on the smears of Devin's cake all over my sheets and pillows.

"Perfect! We can share our rooms!" Thomas proposed happily.