My Heart Says That I Just Can't Quit

David fell asleep faster than I expected. It was a little awkward because it was just me and him in this dark and silent room. I kept checking on the door in case Kelly would burst through screaming, but thankfully that had yet to happen.

He slept facing me, his hair casually creating a curtain in front of his closed eyes, and his breathing was nothing other than a hushed murmur. David seemed so peaceful asleep that all I could do was stare. Unable to fight the urge, I reached out my fingers and brushed away the curtain. His expression reacted to my touch, at first startled and bothered, but it softened as soon as his eyes were open and staring into my own.

"You're still awake?" he asked, a grin spread on his lips.

I nodded. "You're so cute when you sleep," I teased in a sing-song voice.

The arm that was draped over my waist wound closer to his body to bring me closer so he could lean down lazily to leave a little wet spot where he kissed my forehead -- a favorite place of his I'm guessing. "Not as cute as you would be. Come on, go to sleep."

I stared at him and pursed my lips as another reason for not sleeping popped into my thoughts. "I can't."

David raised a brow and let it fall as he realized what that reason was. "Why do you care so much about Kelly all of a sudden?" he asked, reading my thoughts like he'd always be able to.

I shook my head as to forget the notion. "I don't mean to, it's just that I have somewhat of a guilty conscience considering what happened between Devin, Thomas, and Jayk."

He kissed me again, only this time is was on the lips, casting that deep spell David often put on me. "Don't worry about it; I'll let her go soon enough. Just please go to sleep," he begged, smiling oh-so adorably as he spoke.

I returned the smile. "Whatever you say," I caved, "Goodnight David Lei."

"Goodnight Charlie Andrea."

Soon after our little midnight talk I was knocked out. I knew I should have be a little upset at what he said. I mean "I'll let her go soon enough" should be a major red flag, but I couldn't help it. Usually I'm the type of the girl that look down at those girls that keep going for the guy that hurts them and takes the emotional abuse with a smile, but I could finally see where they were coming from. David was most definitely the guy I would die for trying to get.

While I slept I had a sweet dream: just David and me in our own little world. This time Kelly would not be able to disturb my fantasy. Well, that was until I heard the jiggling of a door handle enter my private thoughts. I stirred awake, listening intently at the commotion. On the other side were faint mutterings about "the damned thing never working." I assumed she forgot to insert the keycard, so I utilized this time to hide. In the bathroom would be horrible for various reasons, I couldn't fit behind the dresser, she might see me behind the door, and that left me with under the bed. As I scrambled to squeeze into the cramped and dusty space, I prayed I was the only living thing under there.

Just as I'd positioned myself out of sight, light from the hallway flooded in and Kelly entered the room. I noticed how her clothes were a little unkempt, as was her hair and some of her makeup, but those were just very subtle things. She headed straight to the bathroom, coming out good as new, and then climbed into the bed next to David. Rage bubbled up inside of me at the idea of her cuddling up next to him and I wanted to scream with all the breath I had inside of me, but I buttoned my lip and continued to listen to David's soft breathing.

The mattress shifted greatly on top of me and crushed my ribcage while also robbing me of my air supply; I sealed my lips again as the urge to gasp clawed at the edges of my mouth. The second time it moved I knew David was awake again.

"I thought I told you to sleep," he whispered, his tenor a cross between bemused, irritated, and worried.

"When was that, baby?" Kelly questioned back, her tone sounding too sugary for her to not be up to trouble.

David yawned and I could imagine him opening his eyes at that moment and the shock that took over them when he realized I wasn't there anymore. "Oh, never mind. It was probably just a dream," he recovered, quickly changing the subject to something that would please Kelly. "Hey, it's two in the morning, where've you been, beautiful? I missed you so much; it was hard to fall asleep without you in my arms."

I winced. It felt like he stabbed me in the gut and just kept twisting the knife; my only cause for not bursting out in tears at that second was that the way he said it appeared difficult and unconvincing. Kelly probably didn't pick up on that though.

"Aw, I'm sorry, babe. Forget about where I was though, all that matters now is that I'm here, right?" she answered, evading the question like I anticipated. Following her words was a wet, smacking noise -- a kiss; another twist of the knife.

The horrid smacking prolonged and I plugged my ears so that I might have a chance at surviving the night. I don't know when it ended, but I was glad it did because that's when Kelly went back to the bathroom; this time I was smart enough to get the idea to leave. When I crawled out from my hiding spot, David rolled over and looked at me; his clothes were still on so I was relieved to know nothing too horrible had gone down above me. I only stared back, speech not being something I was capable of at the time. Once I was sure she was about to emerge again I bolted as quietly as I could out the door.

Alone in the confines of the hallway I faced the door and backed all the way to the opposite wall, sinking down in time for the tears to start rolling down my numb face. Time seemed to stop as I vented to myself, but it started back up again when my support (the wall) pulled away from me. The numbness by then had taken over every part of me and I fell back without any restraint. I stared up at Bobby's weary expression and he looked down at me almost as if to say "What the hell are you doing?" He didn't say that though, he only picked me up, carried me to the bed and tucked me in. I couldn't remember clearly if he stayed with me or slept on the floor or something, but when I woke up that morning, he wasn't anywhere in the room.

I stretched out on the sheets, inhaling a great amount of Bobby's scent in the process, and it drew in a little rain cloud on my sunny morning; it reminded me of how Devin once said my heart was moving on from David to Bobby. I still believe it's not a possibility to feel that way. When I exhaled there was a knock on the door and I was reminded of the earthquake when David rushed to my rescue. The back of my eyes stung at the thought and I blinked away the pain to compose myself enough to answer. On the other side was Bobby, he looked as if in the case I'd explode in the next few moments, he'd be ready for it.

"Listen, Bobby, I want to thank you so much for--"

Bobby held up his palm and pulled me into his arms. "It really kills me inside to see David hurt you like this. If you need anything -- anything at all, I'll be here, okay?"

My dismembered heart fluttered a few times while Bobby held me. Going back to what was mentioned earlier, I was reminded again of Devin's words. Maybe I did have a thing for Bobby, but there was still no chance in hell that I could be over David; my heart was just torn between the two.

"Charlie? Are you okay?" Bobby asked while I was occupied by my confusing, unfair, illogical thoughts.

"Huh? Yeah, I think I am. Just trying to figure a few things out," I answered still clinging to his shoulders; it pained me enough to lose one person.

I felt his head move up and down in an understanding fashion. "You won't forget what I said though, right?"

I nodded that time. Suddenly, all my senses and emotions were back and I was in such a condition, it was like I didn't even know an extremely hot, talented, sweet, caring guy name David Lei Brandt. My sense of touch and sight came back just in time too because that when I noticed something about Bobby that should have been really obvious from the start: his torso was bare.

"Uh… Bobby? Where's your shirt?" I asked, humor slowly making its way back into my bloodstream. I looked down too and quickly replaced my chin on his shoulder. "Pants would also be nice."

Bobby went stiff at that moment (and not in that way you perverts). "Oh, yeah, sorry; I forgot to grab some clothes when I was rushing out of the room."

I waved his nudity away. "It's fine. Please, just hurry," I insisted, covering my eyes before I saw something I wasn't supposed to.

Bobby returned to his room and I traced an imaginary square in the hallway while I thought of something I could do. As I thought, David stepped out of the room. He looked tired like he didn't get any sleep whatsoever.

He saw me wandering alone and smiled like nothing happened last night. "Good morning my lovely."

I smiled back, only mine much weaker than his. "Hi."

"Getting back on the road today," he mentioned, trying to break the silence. He seemed a bit uncomfortable to be standing across from me.

I nodded slowly to let him now I felt just as uneasy. "Yeah… So I guess I should get ready then. It's a long drive." From there I bailed and decided to go to my room; beats standing in an awkward situation with someone who tore your heart down to its very last thread.