I Don't Wanna Be in Love

There are no crowing roasters in Orange County to wake up the slumbering inhabitants. Ember sleeps dreamlessly into midmorning before the sun burns her eyelids to open. She lets out a screeched yawn as she stretches upward. Her neck, back and toes crack making late morning music. She pushes away the sheets and a piece of hair falls frontward onto her nose. As her feet touch the warm wooden floor she bats the lock away to somewhere on top of her bed-head.

The sunlight blinds her eyes as she looks out into the drive way. No car parked.

Clink. Clank. Thud. Ember rummages through her pants for her cell phone, loose change falls to the floor and her belt lands against her foot. She blows air out of closed lips in slight frustration. “Where the hell did I put it?” She asks as she balls up her pants and throws them at the unmade bed.

She searches the dresser that’s cluttered with hair products, condoms, cigarette boxes and empty liquor bottles. “Shit!” She screams as she carelessly knocked a bottle to the floor. The loud breaking caught her off guard.

“My jacket…” She mumbles as she runs over the pile of broken glass and down the hallway. She picks it up off the deep maroon couch and flings it all around. “Ah ha! I found you!” She exclaims pressing number one on the speed dial.

The thought didn’t even occur to her that she was at the party last night with Jacoby and she had left him there. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Hello?” He answered with a stretched yawn. His voice was sandy like it often was after a night of getting fucked up.

“Hey,” Ember sits on the carpeted floor now remembering she had left him there and got a ride home from…..Matt.

“Ember is this you?” He asks sounding more alert now. “Where the hell are you?” He asks when she doesn’t answer. She didn’t quite hear him, lost in thinking what she should say.

“Hello?” He drags out the ‘o’ and that brings her back to the conversation.

“Yeah Hun it’s me-“

“Where the hell are you?” Theres a noise in the background and it sounds like a muffled woman.

“Home….”

“No you’re not you’re right fucking here!”

“What? No I’m fucking sitting on the living room floor!”

“You came to bed with me last night Ember!”

“No I got a ride home last night Jacoby!” She shouts back; all he receives is the anger; he can’t see the tears that are outlining her bottom lid.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Theres a shuffle over her end of the phone as he pulls it away and yells at the girl next to him to get the hell out.

“I wasn’t comfortable there. I’m not a party girl.”

“The parties come with dating me Hun.”

“Party! Party! Party! There’s fucking nothing else to life?!”

“When you get your attitude together then fucking call me.”

Dead silence fills her ears and soon follows the disconnect signal. As she hangs up she slams her back against the couch. It moves maybe an inch or two with the force she puts against it. She throws her phone across the room and it bounces once off of the floor. The black eyeliner that didn’t fade from her sleep burned her eyes as she stupidly cried to herself.

He can just frustrate the hell out of her. Then again what guy doesn’t irritate their girlfriend? What relationship doesn’t have issues? Sometimes she questions their issues and wonders if it’s really all worth it?

And she can just pick and pick at his nerves. He loves her, he‘s over the hill and past the mountain in love with her but he’s not sure she’s all there. If she can’t accept his lifestyle what kind of relationship could they really have?

Her phone beeps in a ring and blue lights swirl around the carpet. Ember picks up her head and looks at it for a second and without another thought leaps over on her knees to it. Scrambling to answer before whoever it is hangs up.

“Hello!?”

“Hey Ember,”

“Who is this?”

“Matt….I guess I shouldn’t have called-“

“Oh! Matt, hey; sorry I didn’t recognize the ringtone.”

“Did I wake you up?”

“No I’ve been up for sometime now.”

“Well are you okay? You sound…-“

“I’m fine. I thought I was calling you?”

“Yeah you were but I thought I’d call ya and see if you’d want to hang out?”

“That’d be great, how about lunch?”

“Stole the words right from my mouth.” Matt says with a laugh looking through his dresser for a shirt.

“Well what time do you want to get together? And where?”

“What do I look like an event calendar? Did you think I planned this all out?”

“You called me….you’re inviting me yeah? So what’s a person to think?”

“Ruby’s Diner in an hour?”

“Sounds good to me see ya then.” As she clicks to disconnect Matt something else but it’s too late. She sucks her bottom lip, feeling slightly guilty for hanging up on someone when the conversation wasn’t done. A few minutes pass and he doesn’t call back so it mustn’t have been too important.

As Ember got dressed she wondered when Jacoby would make it back, if it would be today or not. She debated whether she should go or not but decided why the hell not? Matt was cool and this could take her mind off her issues with Coby.

A twenty minute walk in the blazing sun made her slightly dizzy but as she neared the benches and tables it wasn’t hard to spot Matt. His back was facing her and he was at a table with a blonde chick and a lofty guy. They looked like they were in deep conversation but hadn’t ordered any food.

Her steps were slowed down as she came up to the table, not knowing what to think. The thought of calling it off drifted away once she was close enough to see the shimmer of Matt’s lip ring.

“Hey.” Sheepishly Ember made her presence to the table of three. All three heads titled up in her direction and a dimple dazzling smile appeared on Matt’s face.

“Hey.” Matt scooted a weather worn chair out for Ember as his friends said their hellos.

“Ember this is Val and Jimmy, Val, Jimmy this is Ember.” She sat down and smiled at the two people who sat across from her.

“Did you walk over? I could have picked you up, that’s what I said earlier but you already hung up.”

“Yeah I did, not that far of a walk and it’s nice out.”

“It’s just about always nice out, we are in California.” Jimmy joked setting back in his chair.

Conversation fell for a few minutes before a little waitress came and took their orders. Ember pointed out that she had seen Jimmy before and after a few bar and police jokes Matt informed her that they were in the same band. Ember and Val made nice short conversation; Ember didn’t let it show but she was slightly intimidated.

Time flew as the four of them talked and ate and before they knew it, it was almost five.

“I should get going.” She pulled out a twenty to cover her food and her percent of the tip.

“Oh, whoa I should get going too, was very nice meeting you Ember.” Val said as she stood up, placing two tens next to her half emptied glass.

“Was very nice meeting you as well and you too Jimmy.” She flashed a smile wide enough that if her wisdom teeth had still been in her mouth you could have seen them. Jimmy gave sent a returning smile her way before hugging Val and knocking knuckles with Matt.

“Okay well uh, I’ll see ya another time, and thanks for the invite.” She said pulling a piece of bang in front of her eye and pulling down her shades. He said his byes and she walked down the pier with a little happy bubble in her stomach.