Esther Rains.

Esther Rains is a pretty girl. Stoic and slight, she tiptoes through life; unnoticed by most and feared by everyone else. She lives in almost complete silence. A deaf mother and a world that doesn’t care is enough to leave so many feelings unsaid, so many emotions kept inside. Her pain was apparent in the nature of her dreams.

She has rather attractive features; big, grey eyes, filled with wonder and a hint of woe. An intelligent lady hides beneath her stoic façade, and the only time this lady is visible is when she writes. Esther is an exceptional academic; her grades are constantly high without the need to study or revise. Her tangible knowledge is great, but her emotions are confused.

Every day, before school starts Esther converses over coffee with her English teacher, Mr. Harris. To Esther, Mark. You could draw to the conclusion that they were friends, making Mark her only friend. Their morning conversations would range from schoolwork to current affairs to political debates. She was very intelligent, and Mark had a certain fondness of her.

On the particular day on which this story begins, the pair met as usual in the staff room. Esther sipped her coffee, nursing a ponderous expression.
“so, what is going on in the great mind of Esther Rains this morning?”
She sucked her lip contemplatively. She let out a sigh as her hand fluttered to her brow, nudging the chestnut fringe out of her eyes.
“I went to Ryan’s house last night…I originally intended to stay there, but….but it happened again…” She trailed off, with pain tinging her voice.
“I see…would it mean anything if I suggested that perhaps, what Ryan does to you is abusive?”
She murmured an inaudible response.
“What I mean is, Esther, you really shouldn’t put up with this…there are plenty of good men who will appreciate you…” He knew all about her little dream world. He would often try to encourage her to break it off with her imaginary boyfriend, to play along with her mental game. Although he nursed many a mental dispute about it, Mark thought it best not to torment a brilliant mind any further.

Esther promptly changed the subject. Her body image was a portrait of discomfort.
“ What is our new term’s work going to be?”
“Ah, well. I’m planning on setting a few essays. I know you enjoy writing essays,”
Mr. Harris smiled, attempting to coax one out of Esther in return. The corners of her mouth twitched, causing him to chuckle to himself as he took another sip of coffee.
“How do you feel about political debates?”
She couldn’t hold back a small smile.

October 24th, 7.00am

Mark told me that he is setting essay work, just for me. I think he is the only person who understands me; he isn’t intimidated by my intelligence and he doesn’t expect me to talk first. It’s true that I am a fatalist, and ascetic in my ways, and most people I believe to fear me, in a way. I never speak with my mother…I think I was fated to have a deaf mother, so that I may refrain from speaking my feelings.

Why am I treated so disrespectfully by the one I love? Mark tells me everyday that I ought to leave Ryan…Maybe he is right, then, yet again…Maybe he was sent by God to show me the error of my ways? Shall I ever know?

I can only sigh and forget this entry, for I know that I am simply being ignorant. I love my boyfriend as much as I did the night I met him, at that little café in the Midsummer Arcade. A year later, I am still the foolish 15 year old girl in love I was then.

Esther.