Hello Beautiful
Ryan Seacrest, The Bulldozer Of Celebrity Dirt
“Finally!!! We’re back in California!”
“We were only in New York for a week.”
“It’s cold up there.”
“It was about 75° everyday!”
“Yea, like I said, cold!”
“You’re nuts.”
We were on our way to the Kiis FM radio center to do an interview with Ryan Seacrest on the RADIO! It was so cool.
When we got there, the police had, once again, set up barriers to keep our amazingly fantastic fans from crushing us into pop-star road-kill. We walked through the double doors and into the guitar center studios and there he was in all his glory: Ryan Seacrest. I loved Kiis FM and I always listened to it whenever we were on the west coast, so I immediately embarrassed myself by saying:
“Oh my gosh, I love your show! Can I have your autograph? Please?” Whoops. There goes my dream of never doing that again, since the Camp Rock premiere, where I saw Zac Efron and almost passed out. No joke. It was SO not cool.
“Sure, but only if I can have yours!” That surprised me.
“Ok, deal.” I reached into my handbag and pulled out a picture and a sharpie and scrawled ‘To the coolest radio talk show host ever- Laura Sullivan.’
“Thanks. Here you go. He handed me a slip of paper with his signature on it. I tucked it into my purse. “Hi, you guys. Please, take a seat.” We all sat down in front of different microphones. I was between Nick and Kevin. Nick reached over to squeeze my hand. I kinda wish he hadn’t, because I think Ryan saw it. This could be an interesting interview.
“Hey everybody, this is Ryan Seacrest, on the air with the Jonas Brothers and Laura Sullivan!!! Give ‘em some love you guys!!!”
Lots of screaming from outside.
“Thank you so much. It’s such an honor to be here on Kiis FM,” I said.
“Well, we’re honored to have you Miss Sullivan. Now, I have a ton of questions for all of you guys, but the first thing I’m gonna do is a little speed round to break the ice. I’m gonna say or ask something and you’re gonna say the first thing that comes to your mind. I’m looking for short answers. Ok, here we go. Laura, you’re first.”
“Fire at will”
“Favorite color.”
“Green or blue.”
“Favorite food.”
“Anything that comes out of my mom’s kitchen.”
“Favorite Jonas Brother.”
“Don’t have one.”
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Midget.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Mom.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Smart.”
“Jacob Oswald.”
“British werewolf.”
“Zach Oswald.”
“Idiot.”
“Nick Oswald.”
“Short.”
“Kendall Konenkamp.”
“Artist.”
“Michael Money.”
“Coolest person to walk the face of the Earth EVER.” Ryan cracked up.
“Lindsay Stewart.”
“Stewart Little.”
“Evy Mitchell.”
“Singer.”
“Casey Wilson.”
“Perfect.”
“Frankie Jonas.”
“The Bonus Jonas.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“Most amazing mom ever. Besides mine.”
“Kevin Jonas.”
“Which one?”
“The first.”
“Musical genius.”
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Sweet.”
“Joe Jonas.”
“DJ Danger.”
“Nick Jonas.”
“Hott.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Ummm… Me.”
“Thank you Laura. I’m gonna have you elaborate on some of those answers in a minute. Kevin, your turn.”
“Go for it.”
“Favorite color.”
“Green.”
“Favorite food.”
“Sushi.”
“Favorite musical artist.”
“Laura Sullivan.” I blushed.
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Evil.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Good cook.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Laura’s dad.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Most awesome person on the face of the planet.” I laughed out loud at that.
“Frankie Jonas.”
“Frank The Tank.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“Mom.”
“Kevin Jonas Sr.”
“Dad.”
“Nick Jonas”
“Future President.”
“Joe Jonas.”
“Annoying.” Joey made a face.
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Awesome.”
“Thank you Kevin. Joe, your turn.”
“Shoot.”
“Favorite color.”
“Blue.”
“Favorite food.”
“Pancakes.”
“Favorite musical artist.”
“Laura Sullivan.” I blushed again. I hoped they weren’t just saying that.
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Thing.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Laura’s mom.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Freaky genius.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Good kisser.” I turned bright red.
“Frankie Jonas.”
“Kid.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“CBO.”
“Kevin Jonas Sr.”
“Dadager.”
“Nick Jonas”
“Fro Bro.”
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Failure at life.” Joe stuck his tongue out at Kevin, who glared right back at him.
“Joe Jonas.”
“The Man.”
“Thank you very much Joe. Nick, you ready?”
“I’m ready.”
“Favorite color.”
“Green or blue.”
“Favorite food.”
“Pizza.”
“Favorite musical artist.”
“Laura Sullivan.” I turned red again.
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Kid.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Awesome.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Super smart.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Beautiful.” He looked at me when he said it and I could feel my face heat up.
“Frankie Jonas.”
“Brother.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“Mommy.”
“Kevin Jonas Sr.”
“Dad.”
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Girl expert.”
“Joe Jonas.”
“Hysterical.”
“Nick Jonas”
“Off the chain.”
“Thank you very much you guys. Now, I bet you guys hate when people do this, but we’re gonna analyze and talk about your answers for a few minutes. Laura, let’s start with you.”
“I can’t really remember what I said.” I grinned at him apologetically.
“It’s all good, we wrote down your answers.”
“Ok then. Analyze away.” I groaned internally.
“The first few questions were pretty easy. Favorite color, favorite food; your mom must be a good cook!”
“Yea she rocks.”
“What about your favorite Jonas Brother? You said you didn’t have one.”
“Well, I really don’t. They are all amazing boys. I mean, there are things I like about Kevin more than I like about Joe, but it works the other way around too. Kevin’s sweet, Joe’s more sarcastic. Joe is hysterical, but Kevin tries too hard to be funny sometimes. That’s all it really is. I mean, they’re all different and unique and I love them all equally.”
”You think of your brother as a midget?”
“For everyone out there who doesn’t know, Hayden Sullivan is my brother. Well, I mean, he is seven years old and I’ve called him midget since he was about five, so it’s not really an insult when it comes from me. It’s more like a nickname.”
“Your dad?”
“My dad, John Sullivan, is one of the smartest people I know. He graduated from Duke University and he majored in Chemistry.”
“Impressive. Who are the Oswald Brothers?”
“I have known the Oswald Brothers since I was born. We’ve always been best friends. They are amazing boys. They, like the Jonas Brothers, are actually in a band as well, coincidentally, called the Oswald Brothers.”
“And the first thing that comes to your mind when you think Jacob Oswald is ‘British werewolf. Why?”
“Jacob and I dated for almost two years. During that time period I made him read the Twilight books and in those books there is a werewolf named Jacob. The British part is because even though the Oswald Brothers aren’t British, they talk in British accents all the time. I mean all the time.”
“Why do they do that?”
“They just feel like it.”
“Zach Oswald. ‘Idiot.’ Again, why?”
“Zach is definitely a hard person to describe with one word. He is a very interesting character, so I just went with the word that could be used to describe all males.”
Ryan laughed. “Nice. Nick Oswald. ‘Short.’”
“Nick is the youngest Oswald Brother, the baby of the family you could say. He’s only thirteen, but he’s a great drummer. ‘Short’ because he’s only like five feet tall.”
“Now, I have never heard of the next five people. I’m gonna read out they’re names and what you said. Just go for it.”
“Okay.”
“Kendall Konenkamp. ‘Artist.’”
“My best friend Kendall is the most amazing artist I have ever met. I actually wrote the song Two Worlds Collide about her. She’s awesome.”
“Michael Money. ‘Coolest person to walk the face of the Earth ever.’ Is Money really his last name?”
“Yea, actually it is and it’s spelled M-O-N-E-Y. He really is the coolest person to ever walk the face of the Earth. Enough said.”
“Haha. Lindsay Stewart. ‘Stewart Little.’”
“Stewart Little is Lindsay’s nickname because she is so short.”
“Evy Mitchell. ‘Singer.’”
“That’s all Evy does, is sings. I’m surprised that it was me that got the big break instead of her. She’s amazing.”
“Casey Wilson. ‘Perfect.’”
“Casey is an amazing person, but she tends to think that the world revolves around her. Perfect was probably a bad word to describe her. Conceited is better. She thinks she’s the most perfect person and that she could never make a mistake, ever.”
“You think Kevin is sweet?”
“Yes I do. Kevin is very sweet and he has always been there for me.”
“What about Joe? ‘DJ Danger’?”
“Go on YouTube and type in DJ Danger. It’s hysterical, I promise you.”
“And the last one. Nick Jonas. ‘Hott.’ Care to elaborate?”
“No, not really.” I laughed nervously.
“Didn’t think so. Laura, you’re the only person whose answers I really was planning on talking about, but the guys gave us some bizarre ones so here we go. Kevin. Laura is your favorite musical artist.”
“Yea, I love her music. She writes about what’s real to her and I think that’s really important for any artist. If they write about real things the music flows more easily as opposed to writing about random, stupid things, like dancing, or being popular, or partying, or having a double life.” I laughed again.
“You described Laura’s brother as evil?”
“He is! Have you ever met the kid? He gets pleasure from inflicting pain on others!”
“You also described her mom as a good cook.”
“Laura’s mom rocks harder than she does. Her cookies are off the chain.”
“And you’re convinced that Nick is the future President of the US?”
“Yes I am, November 2038, don’t forget to vote ladies and gentlemen.”
“And Joe is annoying and you’re awesome.”
“Yep, I think that just about says it all.”
“Thank you Kevin. Joe, you’re favorite color is blue, and I distinctly remember Laura wearing a blue dress at your Birthday concert.”
“They sprung that concert on me, I had no idea. I did love that dress though.” He looked at me and laughed at my face, which was probably disgusted.
“And you also love Laura’s music?”
“Yea, and I think Kevin pretty much covered it, but her music rocks hard core and she’s an amazing guitar player.”
“Are you in agreement with Kevin that her brother is evil and rotten to the core?”
“Yes, most definitely.”
“You also think her dad is a ‘freaky genius’.”
“He is! Have you ever met him? He’s smarter than most of my teachers in high school!”
“Laura’s a good kisser?”
“Yes, she is, very much so. There was a moment on set though… Never mind, never mind.”
“Oh come on, tell us.” Joey shook his head. “Laura?” I shook my head too. “Nick. Come on Nick! Please?” Ryan was begging. Nick sighed. ‘No,’ I begged silently, ‘no.’
Oh crud. “Well," Nick began, “One day, me and Laura were rehearsing and Joe video taped our rehearsal and was going to send it off to a bunch of magazines. Laura found out and got kind of mad, so when they were filming the kiss scene, Laura kind of…”
“What did she do? Laura what did you do?” Nick shook his head. He wasn’t going to tell the rest of the story. Well here goes nothing…
“I plotted revenge against Joe-“
“Which I totally deserved.”
“During the scene when he was kissing me, I bit his tongue.”
“I’m not as interested in that as I am in the fact that his tongue was in your mouth in the first place. Laura, is Joe a good kisser?”
“Yea, he’s an awesome kisser.” I giggled when Joey turned red.
“Well, well, well, looks like we have a celebrity couple on our hands.”
“Me. And Joe? EWWWWW!!!!!!!! NO WAY, THAT’S SO GROSS!!!!!!”
“I can’t date her, she’s not old enough! That’s illegal!”
“Ok, ok, chill you guys, I was only kidding. Joe, back to your speed round answers, your words for your parents confused me.”
“What did I say? CBO and Dadager? Those are my parent’s nicknames. CBO, my mom’s, stands for Chief Birthing Officer, because there are so many Jonas Brothers. Dadager, my dad’s, is a combination of the words Manager and Dad, Dad and Manager: Dadager.”
“Nick Jonas. ‘Fro Bro.’ What the heck?”
“When we filmed the Hannah Montana episode, that’s what I called Nick, because, at the time, Kevin didn’t have curly hair. His was straight, so Nick was Fro Bro.”
“And is Kevin really a failure at life?”
“Yes. No, I’m just kidding, I just said that to get back at him for calling me annoying. If I was going to pick a word to describe Kevin it would probably be charismatic.”
“And if I was going to pick a word to describe Joe, it would still be annoying.” Kevin laughed and I gave him a high-five.
“And Joe, we all know that you really are The Man. Nick, most of your answers were pretty straight-forward, so I’m just gonna ask you about one. You described Laura as beautiful. Talk.”
“Ummm… Well, Laura is an amazing person and Kevin and Joe are sometimes a little bit over the top, so I thought I would keep it simple and say beautiful, because she is, inside and out.”
I smiled at Nick, as Ryan and his brothers laughed at his red face.
“You are too sweet for words!” I said, kissing him on the cheek as soon as the ‘On The Air’ sign went off and Ryan put on some music. I blushed again when I heard that he was playing Don’t Forget. The song ended and we all put our headphones back on.
“Don’t Forget, by Miss Laura Sullivan, who incidentally is sitting right in front of me with the Jonas Brothers. Ok, guys, now I have some just general questions and I’m gonna kick it off with this, right before we play some more music. My next question is, what is it about you all four of you guys that has this whole building surrounded by fans? What is it? If you could sell this in a bottle, how would you label it?”
“Laura?” Joe looked at me.
'“Well, I think it’s just that the fans are so amazing and they are so dedicated. They love the music and they’re just great,” I said, thinking about how none of us would be here without them.
“Ryan, maybe you should ask the fans that.” Joe laughed. I’m sure he would love to see Ryan get run over by all of our fans as much as I would, after he made us tell the Camp Rock story live on the radio.
“I would love to, but I don’t want to get mauled by your fans. Next question. I walked through the crowd to get to the studio this morning and they all knew that you were coming to the show and they were telling me what I should ask you and I had a ton of requests about who’s dating who, so I have to ask: Laura, are you dating any of the Jonas Brothers?”
“No, I am not dating any of them, I swear.”
“Cross your heart and hope to die?”
“And stick a needle in my eye, I swear, up, down, left, and right.”
“Good enough for me.” Ryan laughed. “Laura, I was also told to ask you about Jacob Oswald. Now before, you did mention that you two had dated.”
“Yea, we did date for almost two years. He was my first boyfriend, we were thirteen, and it wasn’t really that serious. We were just kind of messing around, but I learned a lot.”
“How long did you know Jacob before you became his girlfriend?”
“I knew him since the day he was born. He is actually about three months younger than me.”
“Why did you break up with him?”
“Ummm… Well, we were both really busy doing what we loved, making music, and it was pulling us in different directions, so we decided to just be friends.”
“And there were no hard feelings?”
“Nope. We’re still best friends. Actually, he and his brothers, along with a bunch of my other friends, came out to support me at the Camp Rock premiere and I got to hang out with them, so that was really cool.”
“I was also told to ask you about a boy named Chris?”
“You mean evil in the form of almost-kind-of-close-to-human?”
“Ummm… If that’s how you want to describe him.”
“He’s such a loser. I had a crush on him for about six months and he asked me out and I was like ‘Oh My Gosh!’ until I realized how big of a jerk he was. He cheated on me.”
“Ouch.”
“I wrote a song about him. It was fun. You probably know it. It’s called Gonna Get Caught.”
“Yea, I’ve heard it. I’m really sorry about that Laura.”
“It’s all good. I’m fine now. Oh, actually one more thing: Chris, if you’re listening, you’re an asshole. Ok, I’m done.”
Ryan looked at the guys. “Why can’t you guys give me all the deets on your love lives like Laura? She’s so easy! All I have to do is ask her! I have to try to trick the answers out of you guys! And that doesn’t even work!”
“You’re gonna try anyway, aren’t you Ryan?” Kevin asked.
“Of course I am. That’s my job. Nick, you first.”
“Oh God.”
“Nick, point blank, are you dating Selena Gomez?”
“No, I am not. I am currently single.”
“Would you see her outside of work?”
“No, I probably wouldn’t just because we’re such great friends, and I wouldn’t want to ruin that.”
“What about Miley Cyrus.”
“No way. We’re just friends.”
“Demi Lovato?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“I promise!”
“Laura, is he telling the truth?”
“Yes, he is, I swear.”
“Ok, I believe you.”
“Hey why do you believe her and not me?” Nick asked indignantly.
“She told me everything about her love life. She came clean. She’s trustworthy.”
“And I’m not?”
“Well, you guys have never admitted to anything before, so I wasn’t really expecting you to say much. Now. Joe. And Taylor Swift.”
“Is that a question?”
“No, but this is: Are you dating Taylor Swift?”
“No, I am not.”
“Come on, Joe, we like Taylor, we like her music, have you gone on a date with her?”
“No.”
“Laura?”
I covered for Joe. He wasn’t technically dating Taylor, but he really liked her and he wanted to date her. “No he’s not.”
“Kevin. Who is Danielle?”
“A family friend from like way back. Why?”
“Like I said, I walked into the studio today and had girls lined up: ‘You gotta ask Kevin about Danielle!’ Who is she, I don’t even know who she is.” Ryan was so obnoxious.
“Ok, wait. Do you have friends that are of the opposite sex?” Kevin asked condescendingly.
“Yes, quite a few.” Ryan looked confused.
“Well then why can’t we?” asked Kevin, matching Ryan’s confused look with one of sarcasm.
“I think, and this is just my opinion, that when guys and girls are friends and they are both attractive, like all of you, you too Laura, that it’s just impossible, to never kiss.”
“Impossible to never kiss,” Kevin scoffed.
“Have you ever kissed Danielle?”
“No,” Kevin said, looking pretty amused.
“Joe, what about you? Have you ever kissed a girl that’s just a friend?”
“No,” said Joe, looking, like Kevin, amused at how far Ryan would go for celeb dirt.
“Nick what about you?”
“Ummm… Well…”
“HA! HE HAS! SPILL! NOW!”
“Well, I was down in Florida with my brothers and we were in Disney World, staying at the Grand Floridian, and I met this amazing girl…”
Oh shit.
“And I really liked her, so I asked her on a date and we went to see a movie and then we went to the Magic Kingdom and ate dinner. We walked back to the hotel and I dropped her off at her room and well… We were just saying goodbye outside her door and well, we kissed, and yea. We’re still best friends, but we’re not dating, so, yea…”
“What was her name?”
“Ummm… I don’t really feel comfortable telling you.” Kevin and Joe were grinning, but I was staring at the ground and so was Nick.
“Suit yourself. What about you Laura? Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating?”
“Yea, I did, for a school play once. I can actually tell you because this person is not famous and he won’t care. He was one of my best friends. It was actually a little awkward, but we were still cool afterwards, still are in fact.”
“What was his name?”
“I’m not gonna tell you because I don’t really think he wants People magazine knocking on his door, asking him whether I’m a good kisser or not. Then again, maybe he does, but I’m still not gonna tell you.”
“One more question and then we’re gonna wrap this up. Laura, have you ever kissed any of the Jonas Brothers besides Joe?”
“What do you mean by ‘kiss’? Cause I do this-“ I reached over and gave Nick a gentle peck on the cheek, “all the time.” Nick looked stunned for a half a second and then snapped out of it by shaking his head.
“No, when I say kiss, I mean, full-on lip lock. Well?”
“Nope, just Joey.” I felt bad lying, but what else could I say?
“Ok, well, thank you guys so much, but that’s all the time we have for today.”
“No problem, thank you so much Ryan,” I said through gritted teeth not trying at all to be gracious.
“We were only in New York for a week.”
“It’s cold up there.”
“It was about 75° everyday!”
“Yea, like I said, cold!”
“You’re nuts.”
We were on our way to the Kiis FM radio center to do an interview with Ryan Seacrest on the RADIO! It was so cool.
When we got there, the police had, once again, set up barriers to keep our amazingly fantastic fans from crushing us into pop-star road-kill. We walked through the double doors and into the guitar center studios and there he was in all his glory: Ryan Seacrest. I loved Kiis FM and I always listened to it whenever we were on the west coast, so I immediately embarrassed myself by saying:
“Oh my gosh, I love your show! Can I have your autograph? Please?” Whoops. There goes my dream of never doing that again, since the Camp Rock premiere, where I saw Zac Efron and almost passed out. No joke. It was SO not cool.
“Sure, but only if I can have yours!” That surprised me.
“Ok, deal.” I reached into my handbag and pulled out a picture and a sharpie and scrawled ‘To the coolest radio talk show host ever- Laura Sullivan.’
“Thanks. Here you go. He handed me a slip of paper with his signature on it. I tucked it into my purse. “Hi, you guys. Please, take a seat.” We all sat down in front of different microphones. I was between Nick and Kevin. Nick reached over to squeeze my hand. I kinda wish he hadn’t, because I think Ryan saw it. This could be an interesting interview.
“Hey everybody, this is Ryan Seacrest, on the air with the Jonas Brothers and Laura Sullivan!!! Give ‘em some love you guys!!!”
Lots of screaming from outside.
“Thank you so much. It’s such an honor to be here on Kiis FM,” I said.
“Well, we’re honored to have you Miss Sullivan. Now, I have a ton of questions for all of you guys, but the first thing I’m gonna do is a little speed round to break the ice. I’m gonna say or ask something and you’re gonna say the first thing that comes to your mind. I’m looking for short answers. Ok, here we go. Laura, you’re first.”
“Fire at will”
“Favorite color.”
“Green or blue.”
“Favorite food.”
“Anything that comes out of my mom’s kitchen.”
“Favorite Jonas Brother.”
“Don’t have one.”
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Midget.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Mom.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Smart.”
“Jacob Oswald.”
“British werewolf.”
“Zach Oswald.”
“Idiot.”
“Nick Oswald.”
“Short.”
“Kendall Konenkamp.”
“Artist.”
“Michael Money.”
“Coolest person to walk the face of the Earth EVER.” Ryan cracked up.
“Lindsay Stewart.”
“Stewart Little.”
“Evy Mitchell.”
“Singer.”
“Casey Wilson.”
“Perfect.”
“Frankie Jonas.”
“The Bonus Jonas.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“Most amazing mom ever. Besides mine.”
“Kevin Jonas.”
“Which one?”
“The first.”
“Musical genius.”
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Sweet.”
“Joe Jonas.”
“DJ Danger.”
“Nick Jonas.”
“Hott.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Ummm… Me.”
“Thank you Laura. I’m gonna have you elaborate on some of those answers in a minute. Kevin, your turn.”
“Go for it.”
“Favorite color.”
“Green.”
“Favorite food.”
“Sushi.”
“Favorite musical artist.”
“Laura Sullivan.” I blushed.
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Evil.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Good cook.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Laura’s dad.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Most awesome person on the face of the planet.” I laughed out loud at that.
“Frankie Jonas.”
“Frank The Tank.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“Mom.”
“Kevin Jonas Sr.”
“Dad.”
“Nick Jonas”
“Future President.”
“Joe Jonas.”
“Annoying.” Joey made a face.
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Awesome.”
“Thank you Kevin. Joe, your turn.”
“Shoot.”
“Favorite color.”
“Blue.”
“Favorite food.”
“Pancakes.”
“Favorite musical artist.”
“Laura Sullivan.” I blushed again. I hoped they weren’t just saying that.
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Thing.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Laura’s mom.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Freaky genius.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Good kisser.” I turned bright red.
“Frankie Jonas.”
“Kid.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“CBO.”
“Kevin Jonas Sr.”
“Dadager.”
“Nick Jonas”
“Fro Bro.”
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Failure at life.” Joe stuck his tongue out at Kevin, who glared right back at him.
“Joe Jonas.”
“The Man.”
“Thank you very much Joe. Nick, you ready?”
“I’m ready.”
“Favorite color.”
“Green or blue.”
“Favorite food.”
“Pizza.”
“Favorite musical artist.”
“Laura Sullivan.” I turned red again.
“Hayden Sullivan.”
“Kid.”
“Cheryl Sullivan.”
“Awesome.”
“John Sullivan.”
“Super smart.”
“Laura Sullivan.”
“Beautiful.” He looked at me when he said it and I could feel my face heat up.
“Frankie Jonas.”
“Brother.”
“Denise Jonas.”
“Mommy.”
“Kevin Jonas Sr.”
“Dad.”
“Kevin Jonas Jr.”
“Girl expert.”
“Joe Jonas.”
“Hysterical.”
“Nick Jonas”
“Off the chain.”
“Thank you very much you guys. Now, I bet you guys hate when people do this, but we’re gonna analyze and talk about your answers for a few minutes. Laura, let’s start with you.”
“I can’t really remember what I said.” I grinned at him apologetically.
“It’s all good, we wrote down your answers.”
“Ok then. Analyze away.” I groaned internally.
“The first few questions were pretty easy. Favorite color, favorite food; your mom must be a good cook!”
“Yea she rocks.”
“What about your favorite Jonas Brother? You said you didn’t have one.”
“Well, I really don’t. They are all amazing boys. I mean, there are things I like about Kevin more than I like about Joe, but it works the other way around too. Kevin’s sweet, Joe’s more sarcastic. Joe is hysterical, but Kevin tries too hard to be funny sometimes. That’s all it really is. I mean, they’re all different and unique and I love them all equally.”
”You think of your brother as a midget?”
“For everyone out there who doesn’t know, Hayden Sullivan is my brother. Well, I mean, he is seven years old and I’ve called him midget since he was about five, so it’s not really an insult when it comes from me. It’s more like a nickname.”
“Your dad?”
“My dad, John Sullivan, is one of the smartest people I know. He graduated from Duke University and he majored in Chemistry.”
“Impressive. Who are the Oswald Brothers?”
“I have known the Oswald Brothers since I was born. We’ve always been best friends. They are amazing boys. They, like the Jonas Brothers, are actually in a band as well, coincidentally, called the Oswald Brothers.”
“And the first thing that comes to your mind when you think Jacob Oswald is ‘British werewolf. Why?”
“Jacob and I dated for almost two years. During that time period I made him read the Twilight books and in those books there is a werewolf named Jacob. The British part is because even though the Oswald Brothers aren’t British, they talk in British accents all the time. I mean all the time.”
“Why do they do that?”
“They just feel like it.”
“Zach Oswald. ‘Idiot.’ Again, why?”
“Zach is definitely a hard person to describe with one word. He is a very interesting character, so I just went with the word that could be used to describe all males.”
Ryan laughed. “Nice. Nick Oswald. ‘Short.’”
“Nick is the youngest Oswald Brother, the baby of the family you could say. He’s only thirteen, but he’s a great drummer. ‘Short’ because he’s only like five feet tall.”
“Now, I have never heard of the next five people. I’m gonna read out they’re names and what you said. Just go for it.”
“Okay.”
“Kendall Konenkamp. ‘Artist.’”
“My best friend Kendall is the most amazing artist I have ever met. I actually wrote the song Two Worlds Collide about her. She’s awesome.”
“Michael Money. ‘Coolest person to walk the face of the Earth ever.’ Is Money really his last name?”
“Yea, actually it is and it’s spelled M-O-N-E-Y. He really is the coolest person to ever walk the face of the Earth. Enough said.”
“Haha. Lindsay Stewart. ‘Stewart Little.’”
“Stewart Little is Lindsay’s nickname because she is so short.”
“Evy Mitchell. ‘Singer.’”
“That’s all Evy does, is sings. I’m surprised that it was me that got the big break instead of her. She’s amazing.”
“Casey Wilson. ‘Perfect.’”
“Casey is an amazing person, but she tends to think that the world revolves around her. Perfect was probably a bad word to describe her. Conceited is better. She thinks she’s the most perfect person and that she could never make a mistake, ever.”
“You think Kevin is sweet?”
“Yes I do. Kevin is very sweet and he has always been there for me.”
“What about Joe? ‘DJ Danger’?”
“Go on YouTube and type in DJ Danger. It’s hysterical, I promise you.”
“And the last one. Nick Jonas. ‘Hott.’ Care to elaborate?”
“No, not really.” I laughed nervously.
“Didn’t think so. Laura, you’re the only person whose answers I really was planning on talking about, but the guys gave us some bizarre ones so here we go. Kevin. Laura is your favorite musical artist.”
“Yea, I love her music. She writes about what’s real to her and I think that’s really important for any artist. If they write about real things the music flows more easily as opposed to writing about random, stupid things, like dancing, or being popular, or partying, or having a double life.” I laughed again.
“You described Laura’s brother as evil?”
“He is! Have you ever met the kid? He gets pleasure from inflicting pain on others!”
“You also described her mom as a good cook.”
“Laura’s mom rocks harder than she does. Her cookies are off the chain.”
“And you’re convinced that Nick is the future President of the US?”
“Yes I am, November 2038, don’t forget to vote ladies and gentlemen.”
“And Joe is annoying and you’re awesome.”
“Yep, I think that just about says it all.”
“Thank you Kevin. Joe, you’re favorite color is blue, and I distinctly remember Laura wearing a blue dress at your Birthday concert.”
“They sprung that concert on me, I had no idea. I did love that dress though.” He looked at me and laughed at my face, which was probably disgusted.
“And you also love Laura’s music?”
“Yea, and I think Kevin pretty much covered it, but her music rocks hard core and she’s an amazing guitar player.”
“Are you in agreement with Kevin that her brother is evil and rotten to the core?”
“Yes, most definitely.”
“You also think her dad is a ‘freaky genius’.”
“He is! Have you ever met him? He’s smarter than most of my teachers in high school!”
“Laura’s a good kisser?”
“Yes, she is, very much so. There was a moment on set though… Never mind, never mind.”
“Oh come on, tell us.” Joey shook his head. “Laura?” I shook my head too. “Nick. Come on Nick! Please?” Ryan was begging. Nick sighed. ‘No,’ I begged silently, ‘no.’
Oh crud. “Well," Nick began, “One day, me and Laura were rehearsing and Joe video taped our rehearsal and was going to send it off to a bunch of magazines. Laura found out and got kind of mad, so when they were filming the kiss scene, Laura kind of…”
“What did she do? Laura what did you do?” Nick shook his head. He wasn’t going to tell the rest of the story. Well here goes nothing…
“I plotted revenge against Joe-“
“Which I totally deserved.”
“During the scene when he was kissing me, I bit his tongue.”
“I’m not as interested in that as I am in the fact that his tongue was in your mouth in the first place. Laura, is Joe a good kisser?”
“Yea, he’s an awesome kisser.” I giggled when Joey turned red.
“Well, well, well, looks like we have a celebrity couple on our hands.”
“Me. And Joe? EWWWWW!!!!!!!! NO WAY, THAT’S SO GROSS!!!!!!”
“I can’t date her, she’s not old enough! That’s illegal!”
“Ok, ok, chill you guys, I was only kidding. Joe, back to your speed round answers, your words for your parents confused me.”
“What did I say? CBO and Dadager? Those are my parent’s nicknames. CBO, my mom’s, stands for Chief Birthing Officer, because there are so many Jonas Brothers. Dadager, my dad’s, is a combination of the words Manager and Dad, Dad and Manager: Dadager.”
“Nick Jonas. ‘Fro Bro.’ What the heck?”
“When we filmed the Hannah Montana episode, that’s what I called Nick, because, at the time, Kevin didn’t have curly hair. His was straight, so Nick was Fro Bro.”
“And is Kevin really a failure at life?”
“Yes. No, I’m just kidding, I just said that to get back at him for calling me annoying. If I was going to pick a word to describe Kevin it would probably be charismatic.”
“And if I was going to pick a word to describe Joe, it would still be annoying.” Kevin laughed and I gave him a high-five.
“And Joe, we all know that you really are The Man. Nick, most of your answers were pretty straight-forward, so I’m just gonna ask you about one. You described Laura as beautiful. Talk.”
“Ummm… Well, Laura is an amazing person and Kevin and Joe are sometimes a little bit over the top, so I thought I would keep it simple and say beautiful, because she is, inside and out.”
I smiled at Nick, as Ryan and his brothers laughed at his red face.
“You are too sweet for words!” I said, kissing him on the cheek as soon as the ‘On The Air’ sign went off and Ryan put on some music. I blushed again when I heard that he was playing Don’t Forget. The song ended and we all put our headphones back on.
“Don’t Forget, by Miss Laura Sullivan, who incidentally is sitting right in front of me with the Jonas Brothers. Ok, guys, now I have some just general questions and I’m gonna kick it off with this, right before we play some more music. My next question is, what is it about you all four of you guys that has this whole building surrounded by fans? What is it? If you could sell this in a bottle, how would you label it?”
“Laura?” Joe looked at me.
'“Well, I think it’s just that the fans are so amazing and they are so dedicated. They love the music and they’re just great,” I said, thinking about how none of us would be here without them.
“Ryan, maybe you should ask the fans that.” Joe laughed. I’m sure he would love to see Ryan get run over by all of our fans as much as I would, after he made us tell the Camp Rock story live on the radio.
“I would love to, but I don’t want to get mauled by your fans. Next question. I walked through the crowd to get to the studio this morning and they all knew that you were coming to the show and they were telling me what I should ask you and I had a ton of requests about who’s dating who, so I have to ask: Laura, are you dating any of the Jonas Brothers?”
“No, I am not dating any of them, I swear.”
“Cross your heart and hope to die?”
“And stick a needle in my eye, I swear, up, down, left, and right.”
“Good enough for me.” Ryan laughed. “Laura, I was also told to ask you about Jacob Oswald. Now before, you did mention that you two had dated.”
“Yea, we did date for almost two years. He was my first boyfriend, we were thirteen, and it wasn’t really that serious. We were just kind of messing around, but I learned a lot.”
“How long did you know Jacob before you became his girlfriend?”
“I knew him since the day he was born. He is actually about three months younger than me.”
“Why did you break up with him?”
“Ummm… Well, we were both really busy doing what we loved, making music, and it was pulling us in different directions, so we decided to just be friends.”
“And there were no hard feelings?”
“Nope. We’re still best friends. Actually, he and his brothers, along with a bunch of my other friends, came out to support me at the Camp Rock premiere and I got to hang out with them, so that was really cool.”
“I was also told to ask you about a boy named Chris?”
“You mean evil in the form of almost-kind-of-close-to-human?”
“Ummm… If that’s how you want to describe him.”
“He’s such a loser. I had a crush on him for about six months and he asked me out and I was like ‘Oh My Gosh!’ until I realized how big of a jerk he was. He cheated on me.”
“Ouch.”
“I wrote a song about him. It was fun. You probably know it. It’s called Gonna Get Caught.”
“Yea, I’ve heard it. I’m really sorry about that Laura.”
“It’s all good. I’m fine now. Oh, actually one more thing: Chris, if you’re listening, you’re an asshole. Ok, I’m done.”
Ryan looked at the guys. “Why can’t you guys give me all the deets on your love lives like Laura? She’s so easy! All I have to do is ask her! I have to try to trick the answers out of you guys! And that doesn’t even work!”
“You’re gonna try anyway, aren’t you Ryan?” Kevin asked.
“Of course I am. That’s my job. Nick, you first.”
“Oh God.”
“Nick, point blank, are you dating Selena Gomez?”
“No, I am not. I am currently single.”
“Would you see her outside of work?”
“No, I probably wouldn’t just because we’re such great friends, and I wouldn’t want to ruin that.”
“What about Miley Cyrus.”
“No way. We’re just friends.”
“Demi Lovato?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“I promise!”
“Laura, is he telling the truth?”
“Yes, he is, I swear.”
“Ok, I believe you.”
“Hey why do you believe her and not me?” Nick asked indignantly.
“She told me everything about her love life. She came clean. She’s trustworthy.”
“And I’m not?”
“Well, you guys have never admitted to anything before, so I wasn’t really expecting you to say much. Now. Joe. And Taylor Swift.”
“Is that a question?”
“No, but this is: Are you dating Taylor Swift?”
“No, I am not.”
“Come on, Joe, we like Taylor, we like her music, have you gone on a date with her?”
“No.”
“Laura?”
I covered for Joe. He wasn’t technically dating Taylor, but he really liked her and he wanted to date her. “No he’s not.”
“Kevin. Who is Danielle?”
“A family friend from like way back. Why?”
“Like I said, I walked into the studio today and had girls lined up: ‘You gotta ask Kevin about Danielle!’ Who is she, I don’t even know who she is.” Ryan was so obnoxious.
“Ok, wait. Do you have friends that are of the opposite sex?” Kevin asked condescendingly.
“Yes, quite a few.” Ryan looked confused.
“Well then why can’t we?” asked Kevin, matching Ryan’s confused look with one of sarcasm.
“I think, and this is just my opinion, that when guys and girls are friends and they are both attractive, like all of you, you too Laura, that it’s just impossible, to never kiss.”
“Impossible to never kiss,” Kevin scoffed.
“Have you ever kissed Danielle?”
“No,” Kevin said, looking pretty amused.
“Joe, what about you? Have you ever kissed a girl that’s just a friend?”
“No,” said Joe, looking, like Kevin, amused at how far Ryan would go for celeb dirt.
“Nick what about you?”
“Ummm… Well…”
“HA! HE HAS! SPILL! NOW!”
“Well, I was down in Florida with my brothers and we were in Disney World, staying at the Grand Floridian, and I met this amazing girl…”
Oh shit.
“And I really liked her, so I asked her on a date and we went to see a movie and then we went to the Magic Kingdom and ate dinner. We walked back to the hotel and I dropped her off at her room and well… We were just saying goodbye outside her door and well, we kissed, and yea. We’re still best friends, but we’re not dating, so, yea…”
“What was her name?”
“Ummm… I don’t really feel comfortable telling you.” Kevin and Joe were grinning, but I was staring at the ground and so was Nick.
“Suit yourself. What about you Laura? Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating?”
“Yea, I did, for a school play once. I can actually tell you because this person is not famous and he won’t care. He was one of my best friends. It was actually a little awkward, but we were still cool afterwards, still are in fact.”
“What was his name?”
“I’m not gonna tell you because I don’t really think he wants People magazine knocking on his door, asking him whether I’m a good kisser or not. Then again, maybe he does, but I’m still not gonna tell you.”
“One more question and then we’re gonna wrap this up. Laura, have you ever kissed any of the Jonas Brothers besides Joe?”
“What do you mean by ‘kiss’? Cause I do this-“ I reached over and gave Nick a gentle peck on the cheek, “all the time.” Nick looked stunned for a half a second and then snapped out of it by shaking his head.
“No, when I say kiss, I mean, full-on lip lock. Well?”
“Nope, just Joey.” I felt bad lying, but what else could I say?
“Ok, well, thank you guys so much, but that’s all the time we have for today.”
“No problem, thank you so much Ryan,” I said through gritted teeth not trying at all to be gracious.
♠ ♠ ♠
This one is SUPER long...