Beat Your Heart Out

*3 Months Later*

“I can’t believe you’re leaving” Jessy played with the small dog tugging at her bracelet “I’m going to hurt Johnny when I see his ass…”

“Don’t be such a baby I’ll be back before you know it”

“I can’t believe he suckered you into going” she threw her hands in the air ignoring Alex’s response “Alex what if I die while you’re gone?”

She raised an eyebrow “I see someone is leaning toward the melodramatics”

“I’m being serious!”

“Jess” She put down the tee shirt she had in her hand “Trust me once I get back it‘ll be like I never left”

She stuck out her tongue “Are you at least going to miss your bestest friend in the whole world? I can see you‘re not going to let me get you out of going”

“Of course. As crazy as you are, how can I not miss you” she laughed sitting on her suitcase attempting to close it.

“Well tell the guys I say hi and oh tell Jimmy he and I need to have that shot competition and tell Johnny he sucks monkey balls”

“Haha ok then will do, Captain” she saluted her friend.

*Two Week Before*

”Serious Al, it’d be great if we could see you. And your boyfriend misses you of course; don’t you think James would love that surprise?”

“Yea I guess you’re right short stuff” she chuckled to herself.

“Hey I wouldn’t be talking miss ”I’m only 5”3 ½’”

“Shut up! Anyway, yea I just gotta figure out how to break it to Jessy. She’s going to have a cow to know that I’m leaving for two months to be with you mother fuckers”

*Present Day*

"Jess, it wont be that bad without me! Plus, look on the bright side you still have Rylee" she put her arm around her best friend and smiled. She found it very funny how childish Jessy would act when it came to things like this, but it's only natural she guessed. They hardly ever spent any time away from each other, they were practically attached at the hip. No matter what they always found a way to be "with"/i] each other one way or another; texting, email, webcam, and on the rare occasion actually calling each other on the phone. In their opinion texting was the way to go.

"Yeah I guess you're right, but remember call me everyday and fill me in on well everything! Oh and text me no matter where you are; i don't even care if you're pooping, you need to text me!"

"Oh my god...you're acting like a crazy, psycho best friend that wants to rip off my skin and wear it as her own" she sarcastically had a fearful look on her face and grabbed her chest.

Jessy pushed her arm "Shut up! I just want to know that my friend is alive, she is leaving me to go half way across the world after all"

"Aw I know I was just teasing you because I love you" she stuck out her tongue "Wanna help me get this to the car?"

"Yea, come on. We have to leave here now if you want to make it to the airport on time"

"Jess I don't leave for like five hours"

"HA! You think saying good-bye to me was hard wait 'til you say bye to Rylee, and Rowan and Chris, and Jacoby..." they made their way back to Jessy's car and loaded her belongings into it. They played a mixed CD Jessy had made before Alex had to leave and played it all the way to Rylee's house and on the way to the airport. The songs on the CD we're songs that had a sentimental value to the two of them, there were a few tears shed and many memories relived. The hardest part was coming, the good-bye. Even if Alex was only going to be gone for three months, in a guys simplistic explanation, it was eternity in girl years.

*Manhattan, New York City; Gotham Bar Grill*

the smell of smoke, loud drunken voices and the sounds of the baseball game on the five flat screens in the bar, the billiard balls clanking in the other room filled the air. The atmosphere was very down to earth and happy. The place was packed but not so bad that you wouldn't be able to move, just enough that it was loud and the waitresses had to force multiple fake smiles despite their feet killing them and being irritated by the drunken jackasses that hit on them. The Yankees were playing tonight, they were winning three to zero and James had been watching the whole time but nothing registered in his brain. His head was to bombarded by alcohol and thoughts to even remotely care what was going on. He only wanted an excuse to look off into space without looking like an imbecile. Zacky had decided he needed to get his friend out of the world of being a drum tech for a few hours and just kick back at bar; the guys had been worried for his well being he had been acting strange lately. Zacky could tell that something was bothering his friend but he just wouldn't say anything, it surprised him that he hadn't even told Jimmy anything. He racked his brain trying to think of what he could say to break the silence.

"So who's winning?" Zacky patted James on his back.

"Fine I guess..." he took another swig of beer staring blankly at the TV screen.

"God man, what the fuck is up with you? You've been so--so out of it lately. You're not acting like yourself"

"I'm sorry man I've just had a lot of things on my mind lately..." he put his head in his hands.

"Like?"

"Alex...I've just--I've been hearing a lot of shit that supposeidly went down the night of Rowan's birthday party"

"Dude that was like how many fucking moths ago? And I sincerely doubt that she out of all people in the world would do anything like that to you. She loves you too much man"

"Yeah well if that's true then why do I get the feeling that something did happen?"

"I don't know, I guess you're just scare of losing her. I know how you feel, that's the same way I felt when I was with Gena. But Gena and Alex are completely different people, Gena is a slut and Alex is well...Alex"

"I guess..."

"No you know I'm right, why else why would you want to marry her?"

"No. You mean did..."

"What are you talking about? I thought you were--"

"Yeah I was going to propose to her until--until I found out I was right Zack"

"What are you saying?"

James took a deep sigh and signaled the bartender for another beer "She cheated on me Zack. I've known for the past month"

"Wait didn't you just--"

"Say that I had a 'feeling she cheated on me'? Yeah I did, and it's not a feeling it's a cold hard fact"

"How did you find out?"

"Jacoby...He was reluctant to say anything at first but once he did he kind of regretted it"

"Why would he regret telling you something like that?"

"Because like him, I had the hopes that she would tell me herself instead of having to hear it from someone else"

"So why didn't you just break up with her?"

"Because I still love her..."

He lifted his head and looked into his friend's eyes. His eyes were bloodshot and lifeless, almost as if James's once happy self was gone. And all of this was cause over a girl. But Zack isn't one to judge, he's felt the same way one too many times. If only he could tell him that things will get better as they go on, but truth is that they don't. They say if you love something you should let it go, that's much easier said than done. No one really realizes how hard it can be to let go of someone that you love, they can say negative things about them that maybe true but it still doesn't make it any easier. Woody Allen once said "The heart wants what the heart wants". Just like any normal living organism, the heart fights for what it wants until its deepest desires are met.